Falling Stars
by DeLeyano
Summary: The Nephilim have returned and Valentine has been killed. Yet, there are still forces to be reckoned with and amends to make; word is Camille has returned, Clary needs to make a choice between Jace and Raphael, and rumor is Sebastian is alive and waiting.
1. Claims and Marks

**Falling Stars**

Notes:

This Fan fiction is the _sequel_ to City of Retribution.

Set after City of Glass and my previous fan fiction mentioned above. With what I have planned now for this story, it will not follow the plots of City of Fallen Angels nor City of Lost Souls, because I wouldn't want to spoil it for anyone ;)

Disclaimer:

All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

The Nephilim have returned and Valentine has been killed. Yet, there are still forces to be reckoned with and amends to make; word is Camille has returned to New York to take back her coven, Clary needs to make a choice between Jace and Raphael before one kills the other, and worst of all, there are rumors in downworld that Sebastian is alive and plotting his revenge.

Chapter 1 Claims and Marks

"You fucking marked me, you bruised my neck with your stupid fangs you- you," Clary could not think of a word harsh enough to describe Raphael right now. Her anger was like a red haze over her eyes and all she could see was Raphael staring at her with a blank expression on his face.

Of course, that could have been because Clary had stormed right into the Dumort, right up to Raphael's suite, and barged into his bedroom to yell and scream at him for what he had done. Clary also noticed, to her dismay, that from the looks of things he had just woken up, he had a pair of navy jeans on that were low enough that Clary could see the edge of his boxers along his hips and the gold chain around his neck glinted in the faint light. He wore nothing else. His dark hair was slightly mused from sleep and hia honey colored skin rippled as the muscles contracted beneath.

Raphael continued to stare at Clary as she ranted about his bite wound from a few days ago; which according to Clary, had made Jace suspicious and now she rarely had the chance to get away from him anymore.

However, Clary still could not get her words straight and failed at calling him anything worse than a bloodsucker, which technically he was. So she settled for staring him down with her hands on her hips until he could come up with some kind of apology. Well, at least that was what Clary hoped for.

"You're here now, aren't you?" Raphael asked with a lazy expression on his face.

"Well," Clary paused, he had a point, but Clary would not give it to him. "That's beside the point. I'm saying that thanks to your stupid mark from the other night, Jace is suspicious of me all the time. He rarely lets me leave the institute without him unless it's with Simon or my mother." Clary's breathing was heavily, the words rushing from her mouth.

Raphael took the remaining steps forward between them. Clary did not back up, she had the room, but she was not going to let Raphael threaten her. Not this time. "What do you want, an apology? Lo siento, hermosa, but I won't give you that." Clary looked up at Raphael; her brain seemed to process his words slower than they should, that was one effect of Raphael being so close.

Raphael leaned in, his lips by her ear as he whispered, "If you're still wondering, that means I'm not sorry and you're not getting an apology, ángel." Raphael's voice was soft and sweet and Clary almost fell for it.

Almost.

Clary stepped back, her face a mask of hate and rage as she prepared to yell at him again. She was cut off as Raphael grabbed her wrists and pulled her against him; she looked up into his eyes, her lips parted in surprise, and Raphael kissed her.

For a few moments everything was perfect and Clary melted into the heat of the kiss. She felt herself being pulled along as Raphael walked backwards, fell back onto the bed, and pulled Clary with him so she was on top of him. Then Clary slowly regained her mentality. She recognized that she was kissing Raphael when she should be kissing Jace; and only Jace, she recognized that they were on the bed and that was not the best place to be, yet none of that mattered because there was still that part of her that wanted to be with Raphael and only Raphael.

So Clary pulled back, staring down at Raphael beneath her as he looked up at her through his lashes. "Raphael, we can't do this, not now." Her words were hushed but it did not matter though, he could hear her.

"We've done it before; and it's not like the circumstances were any better then." Raphael argued as he switched his hold on Clary from her wrists to her hips, running his hands down her body in the process. Clary did not answer, she was too afraid that her words would betray her so Raphael spoke again, "What do you want? And don't say Jace because it's obvious that isn't true." Again Clary could not answer; she tried rolling off of him but his grip held her in place.

Clary looked back at Raphael as he moved one arm behind him to prop himself up on the elbow and pressed his other hand against the small of Clary's back as he leaned in to kiss her again; and Clary let him.

She was vaguely aware of her conscious screaming at her that this wrong; that she was cheating on Jace, the person she had fought so hard for, and it screamed at her that she was throwing all of that away. Yet, it did not matter to Clary; to her, there was only Raphael, at least for now. So she let him trace the runes on her arms with his fingertips, she let him rid her of her clothing as she removed his, and she let him take her to his bed, because all she wanted right now was him.

* * *

_Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! _The words pounded through Clary's head as she surfaced from the fog and back into reality. She had come to the Dumort to yell and threaten Raphael for what he did to her; instead she had ended up in his arms, _in his bed!_ Her conscious yelled at her. How had she been so stupid? She had Jace, she had Jace back from the dead and she was throwing it all away, and for what? For Raphael?

Clary groaned as she pulled herself out of Raphael's arms, then she grabbed her clothes off the floor and hurriedly dressed.

"You could stay, you know." Raphael commented, his voice was lazy as he reached over to grab Clary and pull her back to him. Lucky for Clary, it was a halfhearted attempt so she was able to move out of the way before he could get a hold of her.

"No, Raphael. I really can't." She said as she looked down at the floor. She pulled her shirt on and was now fully dressed. Clary waited as Raphael got himself out of bed and pulled his boxers and jeans back on.

Raphael walked over to Clary, and Clary instinctively took a step back this time. She did not need a repeat, not now; not when she would already be in deep shit with Jace when she did not get back in time like she had promised she would. "Really? If the problem is Jace, that's an easy problem to take care of." Clary was not sure what Raphael meant by 'take care of' and she really did not want to find out.

"Yeah? Well, the problem is not Jace, it's you. _We_ never had a relationship, _we_ never will have a relationship and I'm not going to let _this_ mess up my current relationship." Clary's voice was rising and she could see the suppressed anger flash in Raphael's eyes.

"And how do you plan to stop me if I decide to tell Jace what's been going on behind his back?" Clary could see the faint smile playing at his lips.

"I'll send the clave after you."

"On what grounds? I helped bring your little Nephilim race back, hermosa. I'm in the clave's good graces; you'd need a lot of evidence against me." Raphael said, his voice was mockingly sweet. Clary had to push back his charm to focus on the issue at hand.

"I'll figure something out. I always do." Clary said, as she walked towards the door.

Raphael grabbed her arm and swung her around, her back hitting the wall with Raphael standing in front. "I wasn't kidding about me telling Jace, ángel. I consider you mine just as much as Jace thinks you're his. Why do you think I bit you and left a bruise that bad in the first place?" His voice was like ice and Clary's mind flashed over with fear as Raphael stared her down. Clary went over his words again in her head, it made sense.

"You think you have some kind of claim over me?" Clary asked arrogantly, her eyes dared Raphael to answer.

He smiled and Clary could see the tips of his fangs as he spoke, "Of course, I'll always have a claim over you. I'm immortal, remember?" Clary inched her way towards the door while Raphael watched her closely. He stopped her right when she was about to slip through the door and out of harms away.

"Yeah, but I'm not. You'll tire of me in what? A year, maybe two?" Clary asked.

"Not if I make you immortal." Raphael's voice was level and reasonable; Clary gasped in fear and pulled at his arm blocking the door.

"You are not turning me into a vampire, Raphael. I swear if you do, I'll kill myself. I happen to enjoy my_ living _life, and you won't ruin that for me!" Raphael moved his arm blocking the door only to grab onto Cary's wrists.

"I'm not saying I'd do it against your will. I'm saying that you'll want it. Eventually you will choose me over Jace." Raphael's words were soft and gentle and they curled the hairs at her temples. Clary struggled harder it was only instinct; finally he let her escape out the door.

* * *

"So what's new with you?" Simon asked as he sat down across from Clary. Her eyes were not red or puffy so she had not been crying, but Simon could tell something was wrong; something important.

Clary looked up at him, she had called Simon to meet her at Takki's because she wanted to talk about her predicament with Raphael, but now the words were stuck in her throat. So she stayed silent and Simon waited, giving her time to get her thoughts together.

"You know what; let's not talk about what's wrong. Let's talk about our incredible, non-mundane lives. Like just the other day, I got pummeled with names and rants about being a vampire from a group of werewolves; I also got attacked with names and rants about being the daylighter. See, now they've got two reasons to rant at me."

Clary felt a smile at the corner of her lips, it really was not that great of news, but Simon's hand motions and different voices depicting the werewolves were quite entertaining. "It's Raphael," Clary finally spoke up. Simon already knew about what had previously happened with her and Raphael; after all he had walked in on them in bed together.

"Oh," Simon thought for a moment, "Well, what's new with him?"

"He thinks he has some kind of claim on me because we slept together." Clary said as she tried to keep her voice level.

"That was when Jace was dead. Now Jace is alive again so Raphael's got nothing on you." Simon said confidently.

"Simon, I slept with Raphael a second time: today." The words were thick in her throat and she did her best to keep quiet so no one else would over hear. Simon had a look on his face like a strangled animal; his eyes were wide and he kept making strange throaty noises that might have been an attempt at coughing.

"Um, well do you like him?" Simon said the words slowly.

"I don't know. Sometimes I like him, sometimes I hate him, sometimes I want to rip his heart out."

"Well how do those feelings compare to those for Jace?"

"Jace makes me feel safe. Although I guess Raphael makes me feel safe at times too," Clary said as she remembered all the times Raphael had saved her life during her fight to bring back the Nephilim. "And I like him, he's sweet and gentle and," Clary paused again.

"You know what the problem here is, you can list the feelings you have for Raphael perfectly but you're a little lost on the ones for Jace. Personally, I'd say go for Jace. But then I'm biased because Raphael technically killed me." Simon said matter-o-factly.

Clary did not speak; she did not want to admit that Simon had a point. She knew exactly how Raphael made her feel; even if it was a mix of emotions, she could depict every single one. With Jace, she had become lost; she blamed that on him being gone for so long but maybe it was something else. Clary stood up and looked at Simon, she did not mean for her words to come out so arrogantly but they did. "I'm going to go talk to Jace." She walked out of the restaurant into the night, leaving Simon behind.


	2. Downworld Rumors

Chapter 2 Downworld Rumors

Clary's POV

When Clary arrived back at the institute it was nearly midnight. She had wandered around town for a bit debating what she should tell Jace or if she should tell Jace anything at all. Clary made up her mind, she would tell Jace about Raphael; despite all outcomes Clary had convinced herself that it was for the best.

Clary walked into the training room where Jace normally was, and he was. Clary watched for a few minutes as he practiced with the sword, he wore no shirt and Clary could see the black marks on his arms, chest, and back like a cloak of lace; the runes twisting and turning, making an elegant pattern across his gold toned skin. His skin had a slight sheen of perspiration on it and his hair was a shade darker along his temples. _Do guys not wear shirts anymore? _Clary's mind asked. Of course, only she would question it.

"Jace," Clary finally spoke up after what seemed like hours admiring perfection, or what came close to it. He turned around and lowered the Seraph blade; he smiled at her, his eye lighting up like the sun as he gazed at her; which only made Clary feel guiltier about what she had to say. "There's something you should probably know about what happened while you and the other Nephilim were gone…" Clary started, her heart was pounding and her legs felt like jelly, she swallowed and braced herself, mentally and physically.

"And what's that, angel?" Jace said as he walked over to Clary, Clary jumped at the name and Jace quickly help up his hands apologetically, "Sorry babe, not angel huh? You have to admit though it fits, you're an angel and you're mine. You're my angel." Jace finished; and Clary held back her nausea. Of course, he would pick a name Raphael liked to use for her.

"It's not that. I just didn't expect it, that's all." Clary stammered, her hands twisting together in nervousness. "Although," and Clary could not get another word out of her mouth because Isabelle came crashing through the room. She swung the doors wide; the bang of the doors against the walls announced her arrival as she stalked over to Jace and Clary.

"Myrse wants the both of you up stairs. Now." Isabelle said; she had five inch, thigh high boots on and her gold whip wrapped around her wrist like bangles.

"We're not going to another downworlder party are we?" Clary asked, eyeing Isabelle's attire suspiciously.

"Don't be funny, course not. If we were, I wouldn't be dressed like a slob today." Isabelle said as she waved her hand and rolled her eyes. Clary looked at the rest of Isabelle's attire: designer blue-black jeans that showed off every curve of Isabelle's legs paired with a black, tummy tight, deep v, wide strapped tank; her ruby necklace shining like hot iron against her pale skin.

_If you're a slob, then what am I?_ Clary thought as she playfully stuck her tongue out at Isabelle. "What does Myrse want?" Clary heard Jace's voice as it pulled her thoughts away from reconsidering her sense of fashion.

"How in hell should I know?" Mom has me and Alec busy running around doing stupid, useless chores: grocery shopping, cleaning, babysitting Max, and he's almost eleven!" Isabelle groaned. "Clary don't mundanes do that sort of stuff?" Isabelle turned to Clary her eyes demanding an answer.

Clary shrugged, "how should I know, I don't have younger siblings." Clary's arrogance shown through her façade and earned a laugh from Jace and a frown from Isabelle; Clary could feel the pull of a smile at the corners of her lips. "We shouldn't keep Myrse waiting, it could be important."

"Yeah, it could be an emergency; we might have run out of cereal or maybe even toothpaste. Our fight against demonic, mouth bacteria might never end." Jace added as he grabbed Clary's hand and led her towards the doors. Isabelle soon caught up to them; her heels clicking along the floor.

Raphael's POV

"Master, we've located Camille." Lily's voice was like wind chimes gently blowing the air; happy and energetic with just a hint of seduction. Raphael hated it.

He turned to face the short, Asian girl; her hair was now a stunning black that hit her lower back: extensions. Her almond eyes were a gold-brown, and her black skirt rucked up against her thighs as she seated herself on the corner of Raphael's desk. He regarded her with business formality as he spoke, "Where?"

"Well, we know she has retreated back to Europe, probably France. She likes it there; it' very romantic I hear." Lily said; her eyes looking up at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on her face. Raphael refused the impulse to laugh at her.

"So you don't actually know where she is, you just thought you'd give me a tiny bit of information in the hopes that I would award you kindly." Raphael replied; he was turned away from her watching her reaction out of the corner of his eye as he pretended to be interested in some of the files stored on the shelves of his office/living room.

"We have a very good, very likely possibility of where she is." Raphael could hear the tinge of annoyance in Lily's voice.

"But you don't know if it's accurate or not." Raphael commented; he was running out of files and would soon have to turn back to Lily. Too late, she got up off the desk and walked over to Raphael who was forced to put the file back as she entered his personal space; she was a few inches shorter than he and was able to manage to look him in the eyes as she spoke.

"Do you want my help or not?" She cocked her head to the side, giving him a questioning look; Raphael scoffed.

"I don't need to ask." Raphael sneered; his fangs visible. "I don't need to ask and I don't have to reward you. In the end you always do as I say because you're a cowardly bitch who survives off groveling to others." Raphael paused, letting his words sink in as Lily stood there frozen in front of him; however, she did not look away. "And I'm not interested in any _services_ you could offer." Raphael waited for her response.

"Why do you like the redhead?" The question caught Raphael off guard and he was sure Lily saw surprise on his face. "Well, well, well, I caught the fearless leader off guard. Do I win anything?" Lily smiled up at him as she placed her hands on his chest and Raphael was grateful he had a jacket. She was testing him.

Raphael carefully removed her hands, placing them down by her sides and making sure they stayed there; Lily continued to smile that mischievous, innocent smile up at him like she had done nothing wrong. "That does not concern you. I wouldn't want to give you any reason to dye your hair red; who knows how much more damage it can take." Raphael's voice was light and Lily scowled; which only made Raphael laugh. "Next time you come up here, you better have a specific location." Raphael's voice was all business again. "And who knows, maybe I'll let you live."

Raphael stepped away from Lily and towards the door, holding it open for her, "Now you best be on your way," Raphael said, his eyes mocking her. Lily stomped to the door, glaring at Raphael as she exited, and Raphael slammed the door and leaned against it; the only signs of anger and exasperation he would allow himself to show right now because he had a 2:30 appointment in about ten minutes with another difficult vampire.

The Daylighter.

Alec's POV

"He was running around outside that safe house I left him at, poor thing; and look at him! He's a mess!" Magnus exclaimed as he explained to Alec how he had finally found Chairman Meow running about in the woods.

The cat of the moment was current asleep, happily curled up on the lime green pillow of the teal sofa, filthy and maybe just a little bit skinny, but alive. Alec stood as he watched Magnus stare at the cat, maybe he expected the cat to apologize for the mess it had made.

"It's not like you clean." Alec commented as his gaze wandered over the dust covered furniture and floors.

"I do have some level of hygiene in here, you know?" Magnus looked up at his unofficial boyfriend. "It's just lower than most."

"Regardless, there's something you should know."

"Then I probably already know it," Magnus said; he was not trying to be arrogant; but when one is more than a few centuries old, one tends to know things one would consider a necessity.

"Possibly," Alec shrugged, ever since coming back from the '"dead", that was what Jace called it, Alec's relationship with Magnus had been a rocky one. Sure, he had kissed Magnus in front of the whole clave, but other than that he had not really followed up on his actions of the time. His parents were stilling getting over the shock of finding out their eldest was gay, mostly his father. "However, there are still some of Valentine's men in the city. There is also a rumor that they have a hit list for revenge and you're on it."

"And you're telling me this because you care?" Magnus's words were sarcastic; Alec winced.

"Yes." Alec answered, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his wore jeans and strode towards the door. He opened the door and he more than half hoped Magnus would say something, call him back and maybe they could try and talk it out; but Magnus did not. So Alec walked out the door, closed it behind him and exited the building.

The cold air of the night him like a punch in the face. _I guess I deserve it_, he thought.

Clary's POV

"So why are we here?" Isabelle asked her mother, who was busy rummaging through what looked like thousands of papers until she pulled out one and slammed it down on the desk so Jace, Clary, and Isabelle could see it.

It was a photo graph, not very good quality, it was blurry and dark and obviously taken during the night. There was a small group of people in the photo, maybe three or four gathered in a circle. Myrse went back through the stack to pull out another photo and set that one beside the first. It was a close up of one of the men from the group, still blurry but they all could see the white blonde hair glowing in the dark and his black eyes stood out against his fair skin.

"Sebastian," Clary let out a gasp. "How? I though he died when Bat blew up Valentine's ship."

"We all did, but it seems we were wrong. He's alive and so are a few of the remaining men of Valentine. As you can see, they are loyal to Sebastian now." Myrse explained; her eyes watching Clary, Jace, and Isabelle for their reactions. "These were taken three days ago. I've already sent copies off to the clave and hopefully, they will be here shortly to assess the situation."

"Who managed to get that close without getting their head chopped off?" Jace asked as he leaned in for a closer look.

"There is a theory these photos were staged, Sebastian might be asking for our attention, trying to put us on edge."

"That doesn't make any sense." Clary said, her voice sounded lost as she stared at the photos of her brother. "He wouldn't want us knowing he was alive, he'd wait and strike when everything is back together. It would make his attack seem even more extravagant."

"But attacking now would be the opportune moment. Many Nephilim have been sent out across the world to deactivate the wards Valentine had put up, many of them are out of contact range, and therefore, our defenses are limited. Plus," Myrse added, her voice full of concern as she looked dead on at Clary, "We don't know what his revenge is. I doubt he wants to rule the Nephilim world like his father. His revenge is probably on a more personal level." Myrse finished and Clary knew Myrse thought Sebastian's personal revenge would be against her.

"You think he's after me." Clary stated, voicing what now everyone was thinking in the room. Myrse looked back at the photos, her eyes never rising to meet Clary's. Clary felt herself sway with fear and Jace caught her pulling her against him.

"He won't get near you, Clary." Jace said, his voice sounded dark and serious, not the Jace Clary was used to. "I swear he won't."

"Well as nice as that is, Jace, Clary was not the only one who helped defeat him on that ship. There were plenty of werewolves that Sebastian could be after as well, I don't think Simon was around at that time, was he Clary?" Isabelle paused; waiting for Clary to answer. Clary shook her head, "and there's also," Isabelle paused as if she could not think of the word, "Raphael. Sebastian might go after him as well." Isabelle said the as if there was a bad taste in her mouth. "Yes, he could," Isabelle muttered as she tried to convince herself.

"I've realized that and I've warned the downtown pack, although I'm not sure how far the warning got. With Luke gone, they're all too busy fighting for control of the pack and trying to keep it together at the same time. As for Raphael, I haven't been able to get ahold of him, only his second, Jacob." Myrse sighed as she reached for the photos and stuffed them into a desk drawer.

"We could go there ourselves and warn them," Jace offered; Clary flinched in Jace's arms. "What's the matter, Clary?"

"No-nothing." Clary stammered. She had already seen Raphael once tonight and his words flashed in her mind_, "I wasn't kidding about me telling Jace, ángel. I consider you mine just as much as Jace thinks you're his." _Clary shuddered at the words while the others stared at her like she was insane. "Raphael and I just did not end on good terms at the end of the war."

"I thought he saved your life?" Isabelle chirped.

"Well, yes. It was uh," Clary paused, her mind grasping for the right words, "it was a conversation after that." She finished, technically, she had told the truth.

"Well Clary, you're going to have to get over the past and focus on the future, because that's exactly why I called the three of you in here. I managed to convince Jacob to let you all into the hotel and the vampires won't attack you, in exchange, you all must not bring any weapons into the hotel that might provoke an attack." Myrse stated. "And I expect you all to go."

"Tonight?" Clary asked; it was nearly two thirty in the morning.

"Yes, you are expected at about five thirty. The sun won't be up till around seven this morning so that should give you plenty of time to deliver the information to Raphael."

"Fine," it was Jace who answered; he did not seem so happy about the plan. They were expected to walk into that hotel, unarmed, and believe that Jacob would keep his word that the vampires will not attack them. "Clary, go get some sleep. Izzy or I will wake you when it's time to leave."

Clary did not argue, she let Jace lead her to her bedroom, not Jace's because Clary and her mother were living at the institute and her mother would have none of that, and she promptly crashed onto the bed, falling asleep within minutes.

Raphael's POV

"You're late." Raphael said. He had agreed to meet the daylighter outside the hotel in the alley. It was about three in the morning and there was no one out but them.

"I was debating on whether I should show up or not. I never know if you plan to kill me or not." Simon explained; he sounded reasonable but Raphael dismissed that. Simon was his least favorite person; well, maybe second to Camille.

Raphael wasted no time, "There are rumors that you've had contact with Camille." Raphael's words were sharp and he saw Simon suck in a breath, which told Raphael that it was true; the young vampire was not yet skilled in keeping his emotions masked. Raphael gave a slight smile. "However, I have a deal that might interest you."

"Not interested."

"Are you sure? You should at least hear me out." Raphael said; Simon wavered between walking away and wanting to listen to Raphael's proposition.

"What is it?" Simon asked as he looked at the ground defeated.

"You will tell me everything you know about Camille and keep track of her whereabouts for me. In return, I'll let you go free." Raphael said; Simon looked up at him, his eyebrow raised in question.

"You mean you'll quit trying to plot my death?" Simon asked; Raphael rolled his eyes.

"Yes, unless you decide to say no to the deal and you keep provoking me, I swear what Camille does to you will be nothing compared to what I have in mind for you." Raphael threatened.

"Camille has not threatened me." Simon said matter-o-factly.

"She will. If she regains the New York coven, you'll be exactly what you are to me to her: a nuisance easily disposed of." Raphael countered; Simon looked thoughtful.

"Perhaps I'll consider it," Simon said, as he turned away.

"Also, you will not tell your little Nephilim friends about this." Raphael continued. "They don't know Camille's been in town yet and I intend to keep it that way."

"You want her death to be silent. That won't be easy."

"With your help, it just might be."

"I'll think about it. I'll have an answer within twenty-four hours and if I agree, I'll be right here at this time tomorrow." And Simon walked off into the night. Raphael scowled, he was used to being the one in control, and with Simon making up his mind Raphael was definitely not in control.

"So how much did you hear, Jacob?" Raphael turned to face him and he let Jacob see his fangs.

"Enough." Jacob swallowed; he looked paler than usual. "I came to inform you that the Nephilim of the New York institute will be here at five thirty. They have agreed to enter the hotel and talk to you on the lines that they will come unarmed. I'm not sure what they want to discuss, but I've heard it's seems important." Jacob finished, something was wrong and Raphael could see it.

"You arranged this?"

"Yes, you asked not to be bothered with matters that did not concern Camille." Jacob answered; he was braced as if he expected Raphael to attack him. But Raphael did not; he looked at Jacob blandly as if he were not even there.

"Fine. Which Nephilim?"

"The younger ones I believe; the blonde guy and his girlfriend. I think the other two might be coming as well."

"You need to learn names, Jacob." But that was all Raphael said as he walked back through the door into the hotel. That was one thing the shadowhunters had not figured out yet. They did have a normal door; it was just tucked away in a corner that was barely seen. Raphael smiled to himself as he walked up the stairs, he had not expected to see Clary again so soon; and she was bringing Jace.

Clary's POV

"Clary, wake up!" Clary heard Isabelle's voice as it pulled her out of the haze of dreams and sleep. "It's five, we need to get going." Clary continued to lay there, she thought about feigning illness like she had done in middle school, but that would not work. She would probably end up getting some herbal tea that tasted like crap and healed her in five seconds.

"Fine," Clary muttered into the pillow. "Just give me a minute or two to get ready." Clary rolled over as Isabelle stared at her, then shrugged and walked out the room, closing the door; however, Clary did not hear here walk away from the other side of the door.

Clary grabbed her shoes and slipped them on; then she finger combed through her wild hair and figured she looked reasonable enough for wandering around in Spanish Harlem at five in the morning. Clary stuck her tongue out at herself in the mirror. She was about to go do the one thing that could ruin her relationship with Jace, and ruin her life: meeting with Raphael. She groaned.

"Clary, are you alright?" She heard Isabelle yell from the other side of the door.

"I'm fine, Iz." Clary called back and exited her room, went down to the entrance to meet the others. "Is Alec coming?"

"He's staying with Myrse to help her with organize and file: basic clave work." Isabelle responded; she had a thin leather jacket over her tank top and Clary predicted she would be the first to freeze to death. Soon, they were headed out the door and turned down the street, "We're taking the subway for this one I guess." Isabelle sighed.

"What's the subway?" Clary refused the urge to give Jace the award for most obvious questions.

"You'll see when we get there," Clary sighed, this was going to be terrible.

* * *

When they arrived outside the Dumort the sun was still not up. And because it was the middle of November it would not be up for probably another good hour or two. Clary headed over to the grate in the alley almost automatically; she had done it so many times before.

"Clary, uh, don't you think we should wait for Raphael to invite us inside?" Jace asked with his eyebrows raised as she pulled at the grate. Clary looked up at him; her eyes were wide as she realized what she was doing. She had barged in uninvited before and of course that would be her default move now.

"Well he's obviously not here." Clary commented, trying to make some kind of vague point that would explain her actions.

"We could wait?" Isabelle said.

"It's cold." Clary backfired.

"It's winter, of course it's cold." Isabelle exclaimed. "You think that hotel will be any warmer? They're vampires, they don't need the heat."

"It's got four walls and a roof." Clary stated, the emotion draining from her voice.

"Fine, you know what let's just go. We don't have any weapons, so if we die I'm blaming you, Clary, when we get to Heaven that's what I'm telling God: it's all Clary's fault." Isabelle said. She stomped over to where Clary was standing and glanced down the hole. "If I ruin my shoes, I'm blaming you."

* * *

Inside the hotel it was dark, the only main light was the witchstone Jace had brought with him and it cast warped shadows of Jace, Clary, and Isabelle against the walls. They stood there in the lobby of the hotel, the stairs ending ten feet in the air, the floors were cracked, and dust was everywhere.

"Perhaps Raphael should try cleaning up every one in a while." Jace started, "This place is worse than Magnus's."

"Actually, it's only the bottom floors that are neglected. There are about four floors at the top where the vampires live in that are actually well kept." Clary explained, then quickly regretted.

"How do you know that?" Jace asked.

"I've been there before. When I needed Raphael's help I was up there, discussing plans." Clary said, it was partially true and Jace seemed to accept it.

"Makes sense," He muttered, more to himself than to Clary and Isabelle.

"Well I don't care what we're here for, that Jacob kid should have notified Raphael that we were on our way and there's no one here!" Isabelle started rambling about vampires and their inconsiderateness. Jace looked at Clary and twisted his finger by his head and pointed at Izzy, Clary held back a laugh.

"Don't you guys knock?" At once, all three of them looked up at the second floor. Beside the stairs to nowhere, there was Raphael, looking down at them with a look of contempt on his face.

"You don't have a door," Jace was the first to speak up.

"Actually there is one, I figured since one of you has made a habit of visiting us so much that they would know about it by now." Raphael's comment was directed at Jace, but he was staring at Clary. Clary moved a little behind Jace, which at least hid her partially from Raphael's view.

"We have news that might interest you." Jace started; Raphael looked down with an unreadable expression on his face. "We have evidence that Sebastian is alive and still has men under his command. We have an idea that he'll probably go after those who attacked him on the ship; which includes you." Jace spoke the words hastily; apparently Clary was not the only one who wanted to get out of here quickly.

"The only reason Sebastian would come after me is to bait Clary." Raphael replied. Clary felt like she would faint; she could hear her blood pounding in her ears.

"Besides the fact that you and Clary worked together to stop Valentine you two have no other connection. Sebastian would not use you; he'd use someone else, like Simon." Jace answered, and Clary breathed a sigh of relief; then her heart race picked up as Raphael spoke again.

"Clary and I share a lot more moments than just working together," Raphael said; his fangs glinted in the witch light. Jace looked confused; he turned towards Clary, gave her a questioning look, and then turned back to Raphael. He opened his mouth to say something but the words seemed to get caught in his throat, so Raphael took the opportunity to speak again. "She hasn't told you yet, has she?"

Clary felt her legs wobble as Jace asked, "What hasn't Clary told me?" Jace said; he looked down at Clary for an explanation. Clary felt her vision blur, everything was about to fall apart.

"It would probably be best to hear it from her; however, if she chooses not to tell you and you're still interested, I'd be more than glad to tell you." Raphael smiled as he looked at Clary. "If I were you, Jace, a good place to start would be asking about what happened when she visited earlier tonight."

* * *

*Fearless leader, the term Lily uses to refer to Raphael, is from the Gone Series by Michael Grant.

* Something you should know: Max is alive in this fan fiction because of the wish Clary made back in City of Retribution. Granted, he will not be in it much, but hey, at least he is there. :)


	3. All Is Lost

Chapter 3 All is lost

"I don't believe you." Jace replied; his voice was calm and calculating as he assessed Raphael's reaction to the words. "Clary has told me everything that was worth mentioning between you and her." Jace finished, but Clary could hear the doubt in his voice.

"Maybe she couldn't mention it to you." Raphael replied as he leaned down on his elbows over the railing. He still wore no expression on his face.

"I doubt it. Clary knows she can tell me anything, so quit your games, Raphael." Jace retorted; Raphael looked up, a curious look on his face. "Besides, it obviously wasn't worth remembering."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Raphael paused and Clary saw Jace raise his eyebrows in question. "I don't think anyone forgets who they lost their virginity to." Raphael looked at Clary as he said the words; he had a slight smile on his face that told Clary he won. _He might think he's won_, Clary thought, the words screaming through her mind as she thought of every possible way of revenge.

Jace froze; he looked at Clary who was looking at the floor, then he looked back up at Raphael who was still gazing down at them with sincerity on his face.

"You're lying!" It was Isabelle who spoke up, after being so quiet, Clary had forgotten she was even there. Those two little words were all Isabelle said, but Raphael kept his sights trained on Clary.

"Ask her yourself, Jace." Raphael ignored Isabelle as if she had never spoken. "After all, you said she could tell you anything." Those were the last words Clary heard; she went numb to the conversation and the others around her. She vaguely recalled shouting from Jace and Isabelle while Raphael just brushed them off_. He's probably having fun with this_, Clary thought. Then she felt herself being dragged out of the hotel by Jace, not gently either. Clary never registered being on the subway or the walk to the institute doors, she was numb and scared and too busy plotting how to kill Raphael.

"Clary! Clary!" Clary looked up and saw Jace before her; he looked more concerned than angry. _Maybe he can forgive me?_ Clary barely heard the whisper of her conscious over the ringing in her ears.

"Jace, question her later, I think she's in shock." Clary heard Isabelle's voice, but she could not see her; her vision was fuzzy, the colors blurring together like a kaleidoscope, nothing Clary saw made sense. "Just take her upstairs to her room. If she passes out the best place would be in bed."

Clary felt herself being lifted in someone's arms, Jace's. Her brain barely made the mental connection. Soon she felt herself being lain down on something soft, then she vaguely made out Jace's figure above her, she could not read his expression, but if she had to guess, it was d a mix of disappointment and sadness. Then Clary's mind went dark as she slipped into sleep. She saw the events of the night as if she was a third party, like she was watching a movie, from going to see Raphael from the first time to being dragged out of the Dumort by Jace. _What if I had stayed with Raphael when he had offered?_ The question came from all around her, she felt wetness on her cheeks and she realized she was crying in her sleep.

* * *

When Clary woke, she was in her room, lying on her bed. Her whole body had the shakes. She was not cold but she was so torn up inside over what had happened back at the hotel that it had reduced her to shaking. Slowly, Clary walked to the bathroom and splashed water over her face, when she looked up at the mirror, puffy, red eyes stared back at her.

"Clary," Clary jumped at Isabelle's voice in the doorway, her eyes went wide and she felt like crying again, but she held the tears back. She had already broken down once today and once was her limit. Isabelle stood there, her face expressionless as she fingered the ruby pendent around her neck, "Jace would like to speak with you."

Clary stood there for a moment, regaining her thoughts on how she would tell Jace the truth; then she came to the conclusion that there was no easy way to tell him. Raphael had officially ruined her life.

"Okay." Clary answered softly.

"He's in his room." Isabelle walked away, her heels clicking over the floor as she went. _Had she even gone to bed? Does she ever take those damn things off?_ Clary wondered as she made the trip across the institute to Jace's room. That was one of Jocelyn's requirements for her and Clary living in the institute: Jace and Clary were not allowed to have bedrooms anywhere near each other.

Clary knocked on the door; when it moved slightly, Clary nudged the door open, her fear threatening to make her bolt the other way. Inside, Jace was lying on the bed, reading something. _Probably in another language,_ Clary thought; the back of her mind noted how very far behind she was at her shadow hunter training than the others her age. She stood in the doorway for a moment, half in half out, waiting for Jace to notice her, and when he did Clary felt the full force of his gaze, that look he gave her of hurt and loss, disappointment and betrayal. It made Clary want to cry all over again.

"You wanted to talk to me." Clary said; her voice barely above a whisper. She moved into the light and shut the door, waiting for Jace to reply. For a moment he did not, he lay there staring at his book.

Then, without looking at her he asked, "Is it true?" He choked out the words, his voice was soft and Clary could hear the plea in his voice for the answer to be no; but Clary knew Jace, and Clary knew he would want the truth.

"Yes." As Clary said the word she felt like she would faint. She could see the colors of the room begin to spin around her, but she swallowed the feeling and stood her ground. Even if the ground was unstable in her mind's eye. Jace threw the book across the room, leaving a dent in the wall. Clary jumped at the sound and held back a whimper. This was not Jace, or at least not a Jace Clary had seen before.

In less than a second, Jace was off the bed and standing a few feet from Clary, at a desk that was so clean and polished, it looked like it may have never been used. Clary waited, trying to predict what Jace would do, but that was the problem: one could never predict the actions of Jace Herondale. It felt like hours before Jace turned to her, looking at her through dark, golden eyes with a glint that reminded Clary of a dagger. "Are you trying to play a practical joke on me? Cause it really isn't funny." The words were deliberately slow, giving Clary plenty of time to rethink her answer. She could take the easy way out, say yes, it was a joke; but the easy way would only lead to harder problems.

"It depends, do you want the truth or do you want to live in a world of doubt?" Clary asked, she was treading dangerous water here, and she really wanted to get back into the safe shallows. _With Raphael…_ a voice hinted deep in her mind. That was lie, _there's nothing safe about Raphael,_ Clary mentally countered.

"I want the answer I want to hear to also be the truth."

"I guess we don't all get what we want." The answer had been automatic; Clary had not meant for those words to come out of her mouth or for them to sound snarky, but they did. Jace looked at her for a moment, doubt on his face as he wondered if she was playing him; then, the doubt quickly turned to anger as he walked over to stand in front of Clary.

"This is not a situation to take lightly, Clary." The underline text was a threat, and Clary heard it loud and clear and something snapped inside her, maybe it was the last thread of her sanity.

"Fine, if you want the truth, don't take it out on me, Jace." Clary paused, searching for any sign of retaliation from him. "Yes, I slept with Raphael, yes, I lost my virginity to him, and yes we had a sort of "thing" going on if that's what you want to call it. But the past is the past and the past doesn't matter. I have you, and I love you." Clary's voice had gone from angry to desperate in less than five seconds, she felt exhausted despite the hours of rest she had just gotten in bed.

Jace looked down at her, his face expressionless. "The past is what makes us who we are."

"No, actions of the present are what make us who we are. We shouldn't judge people based on their past; otherwise, we'd all hate each other." Clary retorted; she kept her gaze steady on Jace, something was off about him; maybe he had other things to worry about as well.

"I'm not sure that theory applies to cheating girlfriends." Jace said, his voice was calm but his eyes told Clary the words pained him to say. She wanted to hug him, kiss his eyes closed, and tell him everything would be okay; but Clary could not, and if she did not fix this problem soon, she may never get another chance. "Look, I think we need to take a break. So I can get my thoughts straight and so you can, uh, straighten out whatever it is you need to straighten out." Jace added; Clary's heart dropped. Those were the words she had been dreading to hear.

"Jace," Clary paused, searching for the words that evaded her, "It was a mistake. I wasn't in my right mind; I was confused; I had no one to turn to; I," Clary felt herself choke up; her eyes stung with tears and she could not look Jace in the eyes anymore. Her gaze fell to the floor and she saw tiny drops splatter on the wood floor; but there was no source of comfort to turn to.

"Are you saying Raphael persuaded you into it? Because I'm pretty sure we can turn the clave against him for that. Vampires are not supposed to use their powers on mundanes, and you were practically raised as a mundane." Clary looked up and she could see the fire of hope flicker in his eyes and she hated that she would have to extinguish the flame; that she would have to hurt him again.

"No, he didn't do that," Clary had to pause to think back to the moment_. Yes, he definitely did not do that,_ she thought. "It was, I guess you could say an emotional thing," Clary started but was quickly cut off by Jace.

"Are you saying it was hormonal?" Clary could hear Jace's temper rise and the disgust in his voice.

"What? No!" Clary yelled back at him, "How would you feel if you had just lost everyone you had ever known? If you lost me and Izzy and Alec and their parents and the whole rest of your entire race, how would you feel then?" Clary shouted the question at him, Jace took a step back, giving her room to state her case; then, he fired back.

"First off, you grew up as a mundane and knew nothing of the Nephilim race up until six, maybe seven weeks ago. Second, even if you had known you were a shadowhunter your whole life, you still would have had Simon and Magnus and plenty of other downworld options to ask for help other than Raphael. Last but definitely not least, I wouldn't go fuck some random person because I was _upset_ or _confused _or because_, I just lost everyone I ever knew_." Jace mocked Clary's voice during the last few words; the sound stung her ears and suddenly Clary could not take any more of it. That was crossing the line to her.

"You know what?" Clary started; crossing her arms across her chest and looking Jace dead in the eyes, "Maybe we shouldn't take a break. Maybe, it would be better to end it all, here and now!" Clary yelled the words at Jace; he stood there, white faced, looking divided between apologizing and yelling something back. Clary shook her head, she knew she should be crying, that she should be the one begging for forgiveness, but Clary had gone numb to those feelings quite some time ago.

Clary turned to the door, yanked it open and walked out. Her shoes hit the ground with an empty hollowness against the floor. As her feelings of rage and hate died down, their places were filled with grief and misery. For the third time today, Clary felt the tears trickle down her cheeks and she half hoped that Jace would call her back so they could make up, and then all would be right again; But Jace did not call her back. So Clary wandered aimlessly through the institute, her grief her only companion.

* * *

Poor, poor Clary.

So I finally go the chapter up, and to me it's depressing; but then, I really don't like writting sad things like this chapter. I'd be much happier writing other themes that were, uh, mentioned in the other story that are much more...pleasant. Yeah, there's a modest word for it ;) anyone who read the last story should know what i'm talking about, ahm, calling attention to the five readers who comment on every single chapter and make my day :)

I give my thanks to:

Hermosura Mortifaga Snatcher

Son of Night

Tentacion Prohibita

Shaddow of terror

Black Heart

and of course, to anyone else who reads this story :)


	4. Uncertainty

Chapter 4 Uncertainty

Clary's POV

It took Clary about a half hour before she realized that wandering aimlessly around the institute would not get her anything. So, she quickly made her way back to her room for a quick shower and a change of clothes, and then she was out the door in less than twenty minutes.

The November air was like ice against Clary's skin. She pulled her jacket tighter around her waist and buried her head in the hood; wishing she still had her heavy, winter jacket from the townhouse. It was still midmorning and many people were rushing around, either headed for work or late for work and trying to make up for lost time. Clary was no different, except she was not headed for work. She was headed for the person who just might be able to help her out of her predicament.

Jace's POV

"Do you have any leads on Sebastian yet?" Jace's voice was dry as he watched Myrse leisurely finish whatever it is that she had been writing and then she looked up at him. Her eyes looked tired and drained of energy, but Jace could see the spark in her blue eyes as she eyed him carefully. _She knows something is wrong,_ Jace thought.

"Is something wrong?" Myrse asked; right on cue.

"It depends on your view of the problem." Jace spoke the words as if they were nothing, he had been taught to cover up his emotions and now he was a master at it. Myrse did not question him any further, although she did stare him down for a few more moments before she answered his question.

"I'm afraid not. We were probably right about our first theory that Sebastian staged the pictures to get out attention; however, there have not been any other sightings. Although if you really want to help, you can take Alec and the both of you can go to the Seelie Court and question them." Myrse finished; Jace felt sick. The last time he had visited the Seelie Court, he had ended up kissing Clary, which would not have been so bad if he had not thought she was his sister at the time; and in the end, he and Clary had broken Simon's heart. No one knew, but Jace did feel some responsibility for Simon becoming a vampire, it was part of the reason he had given Simon his blood. If only he would have known the trouble that his action would cause.

"What are the clave doing and silent brothers doing?" Jace asked; it would not hurt to be informed.

"As far as I know, all they've done is review the information. The silent brothers can't really do much with the given information and the clave is taking a vote on the subject in a few days." Myrse answered.

"So, nothing then." Jace asked, his voice was on edge. Sebastian could kill dozens within a few days, if he has not already; heck Sebastian could have his plan in motion in a few days, that is if he was ambitious as his father had been before him.

"That's the sad truth of it, the clave does not work that fast; neither does democracy. And thanks to the elections of the downworlder chairs, we have both." Myrse answered; she did not sound particularly upset, but the same edge in Jace's voice was in hers as well.

"Fine." There was no emotion in Jace's voice as he left to collect Alec.

Clary's POV

Clary reached Simon's door at exactly eleven o' three. She stood there on the stairs, contemplating what she was about to ask Simon to do for her. He was her best friend, he was the person she could talk to about anything and most importantly, he had an easy connection to Raphael. Yet, she still stood there waiting. _Can I really risk my best friend's life like this?_ Clary thought, she pushed back her doubts and knocked_. It doesn't hurt to talk about it_, Clary concluded.

Simon answered the door and ushered her in. He had probably known she was on the other side of the door for quite some time; but he had the decency to wait for her to knock. Clary looked him up and down from head to toe, his hair was slightly disheveled, his clothes were wrinkled, and his coffee colored eyes had light, purple circles underneath them. _Funny, I never thought of a vampires looking so normal. _

"What's up?" Simon said as he let himself fall onto the couch, leaning back leisurely into the cream colored cushions. There were video games and comics spread out across the coffee table and floor and to Clary's mind, it looked like Simon had been having an anime powwow without her. Clary collapsed into the matching arm chair and spoke her words carefully.

"I need your help with something," Clary started, Simon raised her eyebrows. "I need you to help me get back at Raphael." It was the simplest way to start the conversation. In reality, she wanted to kill Raphael, but Clary knew that Simon would never help her with that, even if Simon hated Raphael himself.

"Get back at him how?" Simon avoided her gaze and looked aimlessly at the TV, which was currently frozen on a picture of an old Zelda game. Nintendo 64, Clary guessed. His face looked contemplative and concerned, _perhaps he and Raphael were still having problems_, Clary thought. It was the only reason Clary knew of that would explain Simon's expression.

"Just, I don't know, maybe we could come up with something together." Clary said, looking at Simon for ideas.

"Clary I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't." Simon's words were abrupt and caught Clary off guard; she had heard that tone from him very few times in her life. "Clary, I'm sorry, but Raphael and I, well our relationship is already not very good, and I can't risk making it worse. If he decides he wants me dead, I'll have the whole New York coven after me and that will be the end of it for me." Simon's words seemed sincere, so Clary let it pass. She had been so sure that Simon would help her, apparently she had been wrong. But Clary caught a flash of something in Simon's eyes before he looked away. She did not ask about it, but she raised her eyebrows, letting him know that she knew something was up.

"Okay, I'm sorry I asked." Clary said, she was prepared to leave, to head back to the institute and think up another plan for revenge, when Simon stopped her. At least someone wanted her around today.

"Clary, you don't have to go. We are still friends you know." Simon said; he looked up at her, his eyes seemed desperate.

"You look tired, Simon. Are you sure you don't want to get some sleep?" Clary asked; a concerned note in her voice.

"No. Well, I mean, yes I'm tired. It's a vampire thing, supposed to sleep during the day, active at night, not really my thing. I'm trying to force myself out of the schedule." Simon said; Clary sat back down. Maybe a few hours of normalcy were what she needed, and there was no one better than Simon to have "normal" time with. "So, I've been having trouble with this one level…"

Magnus's POV

Magnus was alone in his loft. He and Alec had been having trouble lately and it was tearing them apart. Magnus guessed he should not have been so hard on Alec; he was so young after all, eighteen compared to Magnus's centuries. Yet, it still bothered Magnus. So he had opted to stay in his loft when Alec was going on a treacherous journey into the fey realm.

The Chairman was Magnus's companion; and he was not very good company either. One could only do so much with a cat.

So when the doorbell rang, Magnus was half desperate for some kind of human, or close to human, company; despite the fact that he liked to play the role of expensive, solitary business man. He opened the door and no one was there. _Damn kids_, Magnus thought. _Really? _Ding dong ditch was not creative_;_ there were versions of the game that had been around before doorbells were even invented.

Magnus was ready to slam the door when something on the floor caught his eye. It was a small white piece of paper, held down by a gray rock. Magnus looked from side to side, searching for the sender. When he found no one, he bent down at picked up the piece of paper and aimlessly tossed the rock down the stairs. He took the note inside, shut the door, and for a second he stood there.

It was not the first time Magnus had received a strange note from a stranger. There were many who wanted his help; yet, they were too scared to ask in person and generally favored the mysterious way of telling Magnus to meet him or her at some mysterious place at midnight or whatever with some empty threat of pain or death. Sometimes, it was both. Magnus sighed and unfolded the note.

If it were not for Magnus's tanned skin, he probably would have gone bone white. He held his breath as he read the note over and over again. Fear was not something he was used to, but there were some threats that one takes seriously.

In fine, delicate handwriting, there was a list of names scrawled across the crumpled piece of paper.

_Luke's pack_

_Lightwoods_

_Magnus Bane_

_Daylighter_

_Jace Herondale_

_Jocelyn Fairchild_

_Raphael Santiago_

_Clarissa Fairchild_

At the bottom there was one word and Magnus knew what this list was all about.

_Victory._

Magnus sighed; just another person who wanted him dead.

Jace's POV

The Seelie court was dark, damp, and underground. All in all, it sucked. Jace tramped through the tunnels dragging Alec behind him. They had not bothered to wait for a fey to invite them in and Alec was busy ranting about how they would get in trouble and probably be forced into slavery for the rest of their lives.

"Shut it, Alec." Jace was sick and tired of people yelling at him today. And it was barely noon.

After many twists and turns they finally arrived at the room before the Seelie Queen's throne room. Unlike the last time, there was no dancing, no music, and no well, happiness about the place. It seemed almost structured; which, considering the fey's temperament, was odd.

Jace wasted no time; he marched right up to the throne room and yanked the door open, his gaze falling on a surprised looking queen.

"And what pleasure is it that brings you here, Jace Herondale?" She asked; she looked at him accusingly, like he had personally wronged her.

"So you knew the whole time!" Jace started, and then shook his head. "That's a conversation for another time."

"You mean I get to see you again? Oh, how lucky I am." The queen rolled her eyes.

"I thought you guys couldn't lie," Alec chimed in.

"Sarcasm, dear." The queen explained.

"Sarcasm is a type of lying," Alec muttered under his breathe, but Jace and the queen ignored him.

"Where's Sebastian?" Jace demanded.

"On this earth, I'm sure. If you want a more helpful answer you'll need to be more specific." The queen replied, dismissing his question with a wave of her hand. "I believe it would be best if you two made an appointment. I have an opening at two next Friday."

"Too bad, we're here now and we want answers." Jace said.

"Obviously." The queen's temperament was getting on Jace's nerves; he was ready to pin her against the wall to get some answers, but one quickly look at the guards and their swords told him that that would not be wise.

"Fine. Where can we find Sebastian on this earth, what is he planning, how is he planning it, and what do I and the rest of the clave need to do to stop him?" Jace asked.

"New York City would be my best guess as to where he would be. He's probably planning revenge, considering he takes after his father; as for the other two questions, I cannot help you there."

"What?" Jace asked, his voice rising. "I highly doubt that."

"Sebastian's revenge is personal; although, I cannot be sure how far his personal revenge goes. Why would he include me when my sister court, the Unseelie court, helped your dear friends Clary and Raphael execute their plan?" The queen asked; and to Jace's demise, she saw his jaw clench at the mention of Clary and Raphael. "So you know then?" The queen asked; she had a shark grin on her face.

"You know, that look is very un-lady like." Jace dodged her question, but the queen brought him right back to it.

"Do you ever wonder," The queen paused, probably for dramatic effect, "who she'll choose? Maybe the golden eyed angel who swept her off her feet or maybe the one that walks in darkness who will take her breathe away." The queen sounded thoughtful; Jace wanted to rip her head off. Alec stood there; obviously he was not up to date with current events.

"Shut up." The informality of Jace's words got a reaction from the guards, who raised their swords and moved in front of the queen, ready to defend her. Jace reached for his own sword, when a hand grabbed his. Alec's.

"Now is not the time to make new enemies when we already have so many." With those words, Jace realized how much Alec had truly grown up over the past few weeks. Jace lowered his hands to his sides and nodded at his parabati. "My apologies, your highness."

"Of course," the queen smiled delicately, waving at the guards to relax. "Now, any more questions?"

"No."

"Then you best be on your way." Jace turned and left, Ale trailing after him.


	5. Blood Drunk

Yes, I know this chapter took forever, but this last week has been a whirlwind for me. No more school for the next three months! :)

* * *

Chapter 5

Simon's POV

"Ahhhhhh, oh my god!" Simon watched as Clary pressed the buttons on the control like a maniac causing the poor character on the screen to swing a sword widely at a huge spider.

"You do know it won't actually hurt you, right?" Simon asked; Clary did not take her eyes off the screen as she answered.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean it's not scary as shit." Clary replied; Simon could hear the snarky under tone in her voice. She probably did not mean to sound like that, but perhaps Raphael's personality was rubbing off on her. The next second the screen character fell to the ground and the sad, haunting music played that announced the character had died. Clary threw the control at Simon who gracefully caught it thanks to his recently acquired, vampire skills.

Simon could not help but think about the deal Raphael had offered him. All Simon had to do was turn in Camille, he knew where she was, he knew what she was planning, and he even knew who the traitor was in Raphael's coven. Technically, Simon was supposed to be Camille's informant on Raphael; but after what Raphael had offered last night, immunity, Simon high doubted he could pass that up.

"Hello Simon," Clary called, and Simon drifted back to the present. Clary was lying on the floor her hair was tangled and her green eyes had dark circles beneath them.

"Hi Clary," Simon responded as he plastered a huge grin on to his face. She cocked her head to the side and looked at him questioningly.

"What's wrong?" She asked; there was concern in her voice. Automatically Simon could hear Raphael's voice in his head, _"You will not tell your little Nephilim friends."_ _Great,_ Simon thought, _I'll be stuck with him forever, literally_.

"Nothing Clary, I was just thinking." Simon answered vaguely.

"You're a sucky liar, Simon." Clary stated; she sat up and stared at him.

"It doesn't concern you," Simon replied. _Why can't she just leave it alone?_

"You're my friend; therefore, it concerns me."

"Just drop it, Clary." Simon said; his voice was harsher than he had meant it to be.

"Okay," Clary's voice was just a whisper; she looked around the room, checked her phone, and stood up. "I should get going, it's almost five." She walked towards the door, and Simon hastily got up and followed.

"Clary, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way; I just don't want to talk about it." Simon explained as Clary opened the door. She looked back at him and gave him a small smile.

"I know, Simon. Perhaps I shouldn't have pestered you. It's just that I know you have your own problems with the clave trying to figure out what to do with you and with Raphael trying to kill you and all. I just want to make sure you're safe. I need you." Clary said, she looked down at the floor and quietly whispered goodbye. That was what Simon needed to hear to help make up his mind, that she needed him.

Jace's POV

When Alec and Jace arrived back at the institute, Magnus was there and Myrse was hysterical. Jace watched as Myrse ran from the office to the weapons room and back, throwing all the weapons she could carry onto her desk, and she did it all in high heels.

"Sebastian's back." Myrse was breathing heavily and Jace heard Alec gasp behind him.

"We know he's back, there were pictures," Jace replied calmly.

"Magnus, show them what you found." Myrse sighed; she looked like she was about ready to faint.

Magnus handed Jace the small piece of paper with the list of names. "I didn't so much as find it as it was a delivery." Magnus commented dryly. Alec was frozen in place as he looked at the list.

"It's a hit list." Jace said.

"Really? I thought it was a list of guests for Sebastian's annual tea party." Magnus sneered. Jace looked up into Magnus's gleaming cat eyes and shrugged.

"He's trying to bait us," Myrse commented; she had regained some of her demeanor and was now focusing on messaging someone on her cell phone. "I'll call Isabelle and get her home, then Jocelyn and Clary. I want you two," Myrse pointed to Jace and Alec, "to warn the downworlders that are included on this list." She finished and turned to Magnus. "Who delivered this?"

"I would have told you that already if I had seen the person." Magnus said; he took the list back. "You should start with the werewolves, seeing as they're first." Magnus's words were directed toward Jace and Alec. Magnus glanced at Jace then looked longingly at Alec who looked at the floor.

"How do we know that this is the order that Sebastian will go in? As far as we know this could just be the order of the names that came to his mind first." Jace commented dryly; he was leaning over and eyeing Raphael's name on the piece of paper.

"It's all we have to go on, Jace." Myrse said hesitantly; she obviously had not considered that yet. Then Jace and the others could hear a female voice on the other end of the line. Isabelle. "Look you need to come home… yes it's an emergency…yes, a bigger emergency than a seventy percent off sale… just get over here before I have to drag you!" Myrse yelled into the phone and promptly pressed the off button. "Well, that's one down, two to go." Myrse commented to Jace and Alec, somewhere throughout Myrse's conversation with Isabelle, Magnus had made his exit.

Clary's POV

It had taken Clary about an hour to muster up the courage to go to the Dumort and it had taken another half hour to get there. So, by the time Clary stood outside the side door that Raphael had mentioned the night before, the last traces of blue were in the west and the rest of the sky was a suffocating black. Clary hesitated; _do I really want to do this?_ She thought, even her conscious sounded scared.

She knocked. At first, there was no answer, so she pounded her first against the door hard enough that she would have a bruise in the morning. Then the door was yanked out and Clary was looking to the eyes of a very angry and amused vampire.

"Where's Raphael?" Clary demanded, she practically hissed the words.

"He's out," Lily replied; then moved to shut the door, Clary whipped out the knife she had been carrying and jammed it into the open space between the door and the door frame so that the door banged against metal and would not shut. "I see we're a little mad tonight aren't we?" Lily asked, eyeing the blade suspiciously.

"When will he be back?"

"A little before sunrise most likely," Lily answered, she looked bored.

"Fine. Where is he then?" Clary asked.

"He went out with Elliot and a few others to Central Park," Lily answered; she raised an eyebrow at Clary. "Although, I don't recommend trying to find them, girly, blood drunken vampires are dangerous." Clary's knife slipped down as she stood in Lily's words. _Blood drunken? What the hell is that?_ Clary thought. And before she could ask, Lily took the opportunity to slam the door in Clary's face.

_It doesn't matter, I'll go find him anyways_, Clary thought stubbornly.

Simon's POV

Simon had decided to take Raphael up on his offer. However, Simon had also decided that he would not speak to Raphael. Simon had written everything down that he knew about Camille and packaged it into one of those huge, yellow envelopes. He also included the two letters Camille had written him since he had seen her. Simon did not like this though, if Raphael could not get rid of Camille, then Camille would come after Simon. Simon shuddered at the thought, fighting and wars and blood shed was not his thing; well, maybe two out of three were not his thing.

Simon's mother had gone to sleep a few hours ago, so getting out of the house was as easy as pie. The cold did not bother him, which was why Simon had only bothered with a light jacket as he headed off in the direction of the hotel.

Jace's POV

"Look we're not joking around here," Jace shouted at Bat, the werewolf who seemed to be in control at the moment. "I'm serious, we got a list of name delivered by Magnus of people that we think Sebastian plans to kill and Luke's pack is first on that damn list!" Jace was losing his temper and everyone around him could tell.

"Prove it," Bat said, Maia came up to stand behind Bat and tapped his shoulder.

"Look, maybe we should consider the possibility that-" Maia started.

"No, we need proof." Bat cut her off. "If there's a list, I want to see it." He sneered. _Jeez someone's got flees,_ Jace thought.

"Myrse has the list; she's still trying to get in touch with Clary and Jocelyn as well as Raphael and a few other downworlders that have converted to modern technology." Jace sneered right back at Bat.

"Well, when you can show us the list, then maybe I'll consider your words," and that was the last of that. Jace punched the wall and instantly regretted it.

"Damn dogs." He muttered.

Clary's POV

Clary found Raphael in Central Park like Lily had said. Although, Clary wished Lily had told her what area of the park that Raphael would be in. Clary had spent the last two hours wandering around trying to find the guys when she had heard the laughter and she had decided on a hunch to follow it.

"Raphael!" Clary screamed at the top of her lungs, her anger increasing as he came into view. It was dark and the street lights cast huge, warped shadows of everything around them. "Raphael!" She screamed again, she was closing in on them and she could see one of the figures turn around to face her.

"Hey boss, you're little girlfriend's here." Clary did not recognize the voice, so she assumed it was neither Raphael nor Elliot.

Clary stopped and watched the figures for a few moments. They were obviously Raphael and his companions, that's why they had recognized her. However, there was something that did not seem right about them. What had Lily warned her about? Blood drunk? Suddenly Clary was regretted that she had come here.

"My name's Clary." Clary said, making sure her voice sounded as nasty and rude as possible.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know who you are. The little angel that saved the Nephilim race, brought down Valentine, and fucked Raphael. Quite a list of accomplishments you got there." The voice spoke again, it was obviously male, and the words were slurred as if the person were intoxicated with alcohol. Clary got the feeling it was not alcohol he was intoxicated with.

Clary moved onward so she was standing in the light of a nearby street lamp. She could clearly see Raphael and his friends, and she was sure they could see her. However, unlike her, they did not need the street lamp. _This is bad,_ Clary heard her conscious and for once, she agreed with it. Yet, she held her ground as the others approached, Raphael in the lead.

"What the hell are you doing here, Clary?" Raphael asked, he looked a little more in control of himself than the others, but then he always looked in control.

"We need to talk." Clary stated; crossing her arms, partly, because she wanted to seem intimidating and partly because the cold was getting to her.

"Yeah, that's what she wants to do. Talk." One of the other guys said; Clary recognized him as Elliot. Clary waited for Raphael to respond, but he looked impassive, his eyes seemed darker than normal and his mouth was pressed into a hard line.

"You want to talk, then talk." Raphael finally answered.

"Alone." Clary said much quieter.

"Hermosa, it's not going to matter how quiet you are, they're still going to hear you." Raphael said; the corners of his mouth turned up in a snarky grin. Clary could not tell if he was referring to her whisper or to other things.

"I don't give a damn if they can hear me talk," Clary put emphasis on the last word, "I just don't want to be out numbered if things go wrong." She finished, she was feeling quite brave tonight, Clary noticed. It must be all the adrenaline pumping through her system.

"Fine." Raphael said, he motioned for the others to stay where they were and wrapped his arm around Clary. He dragged her off the trail and they probably walked for about a half mile before he stopped and released Clary. "Now what is it that you want so desperately to talk about, ángel?"

"You told Jace." Clary sneered; Raphael frowned at her, as if he did not know what she was talking about. Clary wondered if he was going to fall, he was not swaying like a normal drunk would; but still, Clary wondered.

"Well you certainly were not going to, hermosa." Raphael finally answered. He said the words carefully, and Clary half felt like she should help him sit down or something.

"That's because we have nothing, Raphael." Clary stated and she saw Raphael narrow his eyes at her. Wow, she had managed to get more emotion out of him in the past half hour than the entire time she had known him.

"If we have nothing, then why did you sleep with me last night?" Raphael inquired, Clary felt her throat constrict.

"Because, well, because," Clary stuttered; she did not want to talk about this right now. In fact, she wanted to burry that night in her subconscious. "Raphael that's not the point, you told Jace and now thanks to you I lost him, probably for good." Clary said; her voice was rising.

"Good, that was the point of me telling him." Raphael replied, he spoke the words as careless as if he was discussing the weather.

"What?" Clary stared at him in shock. "You planned on Jace and me breaking up?" Clary felt devastated, although she also felt a little ashamed. She should have known that was the idea behind Raphael's actions.

"Yes. I told you, I don't share." Raphael gave her a faint smile and stepped closer. Clary did not back away, she would not let Raphael intimidate her, even though she recalled that was her plan when she had visited Raphael last night and it definitely did not work then. "I miss you, hermosa." Raphael's words were quiet as he wrapped his arms around Clary's waist, pulling her to him.

"I," Clary paused, she did not miss him! She placed her hands on his chest ready to push him away. "Raphael, I'm not yours to miss." Clary said; she felt a stab of pain through her heart and a blush spread across her cheeks, talk about conflicting feelings.

Clary could feel Raphael's lips brush across her head as he spoke, "I also told you I'll always have a claim over you." Raphael's tone had changed, there was a warning edge in it that struck Clary's flight or fight response. She felt his arms tighten around her waist, crushing her body against his.

"Raphael I'm not letting you turn me into a vampire." Clary shoved Raphael and he released her, if it were not for his questionable mental state, he would not have fallen to the ground and looked up at her. For a few seconds they just stayed there and stared at each other. Clary felt like she should run. Could she get far if he was in this state? Clary did not know. Raphael did not seem angry, more confused than anything else.

"Raphael, are you okay?" Clary asked cautiously, her words wavering.

"If you're trying to ask if I'm drunk or not, then the answer is I'm not near as drunk as them." Raphael said; referring to the other vampires they had left behind. Clary stood beside Raphael, she wondered if she should offer him a hand and help him up, but she did not.

"Well, that's good then, I guess." Clary muttered. Then on a whim she asked, "What's blood drunk?"

Raphael looked up at her with in incredulous look on his face, "You're looking at it." He paused. "Well, maybe if you went back to Elliot and Jay you would be looking at it." Raphael corrected himself.

"I figured that much. What I mean is," Clary paused, her finger tapping her lip as she thought. "Is it from alcohol or blood or something else?"

"Technically both," Raphael answered; he had a confused look on his face and Clary could not blame him. She had no explanation for why they were discussing this topic at this time either. "It's either from too much blood, or a mixture of alcohol and blood." Raphael finished, he looked up at her, a faint smile playing at his lips. "Why are you interested?"

"Because Lily warned me about it," Clary stated simply; Raphael frowned at the mention of Lily. "She told me to be careful of blood drunken vampires, want to elaborate on why?"

"Not really," Raphael said, he looked as if he was thinking back on a bad memory. Then Clary felt Raphael grab her hand and pull her down so that she fell against his chest almost knocking the wind out of her.

"Raphael!" She yelled and she could feel his chest rise and fall as he laughed at her. Clary tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but he held her tight, keeping her at his side. "This really isn't funny." Clary pouted.

Jace's POV

"I thought you guys warned the werewolves." Myrse stated; she had confronted Jace and Alec as soon as they got inside the institute.

"We did, stubborn little bitches they are." Jace muttered. The whole day had been hell for him. The confrontation with Raphael was like a movie scene, playing over and over again in his head. Then there was Clary breaking up with him, which was even worse.

"Well I just got a call from Maia; three of the pack members were just found slaughtered outside the Hunter's Moon." Myrse tapped her foot. "I still can't get a hold of Clary. Simon said she left his house around five and Jocelyn is out looking for her."

"She's probably with her blood sucking boyfriend." Jace muttered with a sulky look on his face.

"What?" Myrse and Alec asked at the same time. Of course, they did not know yet, even Isabelle had refrained from breaking the news to them.

"Nothing," Jace replied; Alec and Myrse looked at him with concern in his eyes. "Clary and I had a fight. We broke up." Jace summed it all up; both Alec and Myrse were silent.

"Well nevertheless, we need to focus on the problem at hand," Myrse started, she looked a little pale, she obviously did not want to give Jace anymore to think about. "Sebastian might be waiting for us to talk to the downworlders about the list, and then he moves in for the kill."

"That means he's watching us," Alec spoke up; Myrse sighed.

"Yes, yes it does."


	6. The Lack of Retaliation

I'm glad everyone liked the last chapter, I was a little worried about how people would react to Raphael being drunk, so I actually toned it down to being tipsy rather than full out drunk.

* * *

Chapter 6 The Lack of Retaliation

"Raphael let me go!" Clary yelled and squirmed but Raphael held her tight. "I'm serious!" She yelled again.

"Yes, that's why your cheeks are covered with a blush that's redder than your hair, because you're serious." Raphael said absent mindedly as he leaned back to lay on the ground, pulling Clary with him. Clary stopped struggling for a second; she reasoned it was so she could catch her breath and not to enjoy being held in Raphael's arms, lying on the soft grass, and looking up at the stars. _This is wrong,_ Clary's subconscious lectured her. Yet, Clary's body betrayed her as she felt herself relax in Raphael's arms.

"No, it's cold! That's why they're red." Clary said, but with only half the effort she had intended. It really was cold out; eleven at night during November did not make the best weather for being outdoors.

"I could warm you up." Clary did not need to look up at Raphael to know that he was grinning down at her; the innuendo in his words said it all. Clary scoffed, and rolled away from him, surprisingly he let her.

"No thanks, I'm still pissed at you." Clary said, she did not look at him, she kept her gaze steady on a patch of trees ten or twenty yards away.

"Ángel," Raphael started as he reached to pull her back down, Clary easily avoided him. Raphael frowned at her. _Who knew a blood drunk vampire was a good vampire_, Clary thought sarcastically, _at least it makes him easy to avoid._ Clary let herself look down at him; he looked up at her through thick lashes, his hair was a mess, and his lips curved slightly to form that stupid, little smile that gave Clary butterflies in her stomach. Clary wanted to slap herself for having that feeling; and about Raphael for heaven's sake!

"How did you get here?" Clary asked suspiciously.

"We walked, it really isn't that far." Raphael sighed, obviously upset over how the topic of conversation had changed to quickly. "Concerned for my safety, hermosa?" Raphael asked, a smile playing at his lips again.

Clary scoffed, "Yeah, right." She said; she avoided Raphael's gaze. _Okay, so I'm a little concerned, but I would be a little concerned for anyone who was a little drunk,_ Clary reasoned.

"You're a terrible liar, Clary." Clary did not look back at him; she sat there, her legs crossed and her hands behind her to support her. Clary felt Raphael's fingers brush hers; she shifted her weight so he could gently grab her hand. He pulled it towards him, and ran his lips across her knuckles. "I really made you mad didn't I? I'm sorry, ángel." Raphael whispered and Clary could feel her heart clench. _He apologized! He still broke Jace and me up! He's being so sweet! He's still a deceptive dick! He cares! No he doesn't! _Clary felt like her mind had entered world war was dragged out of her inner thoughts when she felt Raphael's fingers trace her jaw, and then they moved down to brush along her neck. "I really didn't mean to hurt you, Clary." Clary's throat tightened up, she was not sure if it was because she felt like she would cry, if she was afraid, or if she really did not know what to say.

"Raphael," Clary started but she could not get the words out, if she even had any words to say that is. Her eyes stung, and she really felt like she might cry. Raphael gently tilted her chin so she was facing him, _how does he get so close without me noticing?_ Clary wanted to move his hand away from her, to push him away, but she did not. Something inside her, some kind of strong, deeply hidden feeling for Raphael stopped her. "Perhaps a better time to apologize would be when you're sober, Raphael." Clary said, she pressed her lips together tightly, holding back anything else she might add. Such as admitting she actually did have _some _feelings for him and that she _kind of_ wanted a relationship with him. She could not risk saying something like that, Raphael could use it too hurt her, or the people she loved, or even to counter her when she argued about him turning her into a vampire.

Raphael looked at her through dark, not quite focused eyes, and sighed. He dropped his hand from her chin but made no move to back away. "If that's what you want, then so be it." Raphael said, Clay could not tell if he agreed with her or not. Clary gave him a small smile of thanks, and moved to get up, but Raphael held grabbed her arm and held her down.

"Oh, what now?" Clary sighed, exasperated. Clary wrenched her arm out of Raphael's grasp and crossed both arms across her chest and looked him straight in the eyes; he laughed.

Clary watched as Raphael laughed at her. A real laugh, not one of his scoffs he used to dismiss her and others with, but a genuine laugh. One that told Clary what Raphael had been like when he was younger, when he was human. _Okay, even I know I'm not that funny,_ Clary thought, _it must be the alcohol, or blood, or whatever_; Clary rolled her eyes inwardly at herself. Raphael stopped laughing and looked up at her, a smile on his lips and Clary could not help but think how good it looked on him.

"You really are the least threatening person I've ever meant." Raphael said. His voice sounded lighter, happier maybe, although that was a long shot. Raphael's gaze dropped to Clary's arms, "You are cold aren't you?" Raphael muttered, it was more of an observation than a question.

"It's the middle of a winter night, or course I'm cold. Don't you feel anything?" Clary asked; exasperation ringing in her voice.

"I can feel it, but it doesn't register as cold." Raphael said as he sat up so he could take his jacket off, and then he handed it to her. Clary looked at it like it might bite her. "Oh just take it and put it on," Raphael sighed. Clary hesitantly reached for the jacket and shrugged it on. It was huge on her, the sleeves covered her finger tips, but the leather was warm and she welcomed it.

"Thank you," Clary said softly; she glanced at Raphael. He was left in navy jeans and a white, long-sleeved shirt, the buttons at his collar opened to reveal the gold chain around his neck. Raphael raised his eye brow at her questioningly.

"Care to share your thoughts, hermosa?" His voice was soft_. Perhaps he was sobering up?_ Clary thought.

She ignored his question and looked at their surroundings, giving Raphael the few seconds he needed to wrap his arms around Clary's waist and lift her into his lap. Clary was baffled and it took a few seconds for her to collect her thoughts; while Raphael brushed her hair over one shoulder and eased the collar of the jack down with his fingers so he had an easy access point to Clary's neck.

Clary froze when she felt his lips brush against her skin. "Raphael, I swear if you bite me again, I'll drive a stake through your heart so fast, even you won't see it coming." Clary threaten, making her voice sound as dark as possible.

Raphael paused for a second, his lips hovering over her neck, "I wouldn't do anything you wouldn't want me to do." Raphael's words were soft, but they were calculating as well. Clary relaxed a little and Raphael continued his teasing, his lips brushing her neck and jaw with feather light kisses; which sent Clary's heart pounding with anticipation. _Damn it!_ Clary thought.

"But you told Jace about us," Clary commented, her control being shattered with each brush of Raphael's lips.

"So now there is an 'us'?" Raphael asked, he sounded amused. Raphael moved one of his hands from Clary's waist up to her cheek and gently turned her towards him so his lips were at the corner of Clary's mouth. Clary avoided his gaze, but she could feel him; his lips were so close, it would take only a centimeter to close the distance, but she stayed still, not daring to give in to Raphael, even though she probably already had.

"'Us' as in, what we did together, not as a noun, or a," Clary was rambling; she could feel Raphael's smile against her cheek as he silently laughed at her. Clary could feel herself turning bright red, even if it was dark and cold, her cheeks felt like hot iron.

"What we did together…" Clary was not sure if it was a comment or a question but she did not respond. She could feel his smile grow against her cheek as he pressed his lips against the corner of her lips. Clary could hear a sigh slip through her lips and she could feel Raphael's hand move up into her hair, moving her head a fraction of an inch so that his lips meant hers.

Clary kissed him back. It was slow and soft and sweet and practically made her heart melt. Clary twisted in Raphael's lap so she could wrap her arms around his neck and gently pushed him onto the ground, so she was lying on top of him with his hands at her hips. _You're an idiot, remember what happened last time?_ Clary's conscious broke her out of her bliss and Clary quickly rolled to the side, out of Raphael's arms.

Raphael looked at her with a mix of confusion and hurt. "Clary,"

"Look, now is a bad time, Raphael. Jace and I broke up less than twenty four hours ago and now there's you and there's whatever we have together, and," Clary stammered, her heart was racing from Raphael's kiss and now her mind would not focus. She looked at Raphael and then quickly looked away, her gaze settling on a tree as she tried to get her thoughts in order.

"I told you I wouldn't do anything that you don't want me to do." Raphael stated again; Clary could not reject it, he had told her.

"I know, I know. It's just," Clary paused, taking a deep, calming breathe, "I don't know what I want you to do and what I don't want you to do." Clary finished, she could feel Raphael frowning at her. _Great, now we're telepathically connected_, Clary thought.

Raphael did not answer. Clary turned back to him and he looked like he was deep in thought, or maybe he was just avoiding what she had said. "Perhaps we were thrust into our relationship," Raphael paused as Clary looked ready to object to his words, when she did not, he continued, "too quickly, so perhaps we need to build a certain level of trust between us before we continue any further." Raphael finished. It seemed reasonable enough.

"Are you trying to ask me out on a date?" Clary asked; Raphael scoffed.

"No, we're well past that, hermosa. Plus, I don't need to ask you out on a date, I already have you." Raphael said; the possession in his words prominent. Clary raised her eyebrows at him.

"You think so?"

"Are you going to deny it?"

"Don't answer my question with a question!" Clary said, her voice rising and she struggled to keep it at a normal level. Raphael smiled at her, then got up and held out his hand for Clary, after a few seconds of hesitance, she took it and Raphael helped her to her feet. When Raphael let go she felt herself sway. "Damn it, I told you not to bite me, Raphael." Clary glared at him.

"And I didn't. You're probably just tired." Raphael commented dryly. Clary staggered a bit; then Raphael caught her, holding her up right.

"You better damn be right," Cary muttered; then she felt herself lifted off her feet and in Raphael's arms. "Raphael!" Clary did not hold back on the screaming.

* * *

Clary must have drifted off to sleep for a little bit because when she awoke, she was not at the institute, she was at the Dumort in Raphael's bed. The first thing Clary thought was that they had done it again and instant regret entered her mind. Then, she noticed she still had her clothes and Raphael's jacket on, and that Raphael was not even in the room.

She sat up, and rubbed her eyes. Thank god she had no make-up on; otherwise it would be smudged all over her face. She stumbled out of the bed like the klutz that she was and made her way to the bathroom.

In the mirror, she was bleary eyed, and her hair was like a forest fire. _Great,_ Clary thought. Clary did her best to finger comb through her hair and make it look somewhat presentable. Clary turned to the door and stopped. _Now what?_ She thought. _Am I in a relationship with Raphael? Am I not? If he has a claim over me then does that mean I have a claim over him? _Things with Jace had been so much simpler. Clary sighed, exasperated, and then walked through the door back into the bedroom where Raphael was waiting for her. _Crap._

"Why did you bring me here instead of the institute?" Clary asked; it was the most obvious question that she could think of.

"I thought we could get a quick start of building up that level of trust," Raphael said, he smiled and Clary blushed. He was leaning back against the bed and Clary was frozen. She did not want to get into this mess right now, not when there were already so many problems between them.

"Yeah? Well, I don't think you're trust building exercises will be all that helpful." Clary said; bravely she walked over so she was standing in front of him. He placed his hands on her hips and Clary felt the heat of his touch skyrocket through her body and send her pulse racing. "I think it would be better if we got to know each other first." Clary said, she had a superior smile on her face that said she had won, but Raphael was not fazed.

"Fine, what do you want to know, hermosa?" He asked; his voice as steady as always. Clary had a question in mind, she must have figured it out in her subconscious but it had definitely been the question bugging her ever since she had gotten involved with Raphael. It was the question that she had to know, although it might destroy everything they had. Her thoughts were cut off by Raphael who pulled her forward so she was leaning into him, his legs on either side of her, and one arm snaked around her waist while the other moved up along her spine and into her hair, tilting her face up to his in the process. "Ask away, ángel." Raphael said. Clary's mind wavered between reaching up to kiss him and asking him, she went with the latter.

"Do you love me?" Clary asked; her words were strong, but her voice was soft. She froze, waiting for his retaliation, for him to push her away, but what he did was much worse. He stayed there, just as frozen as she.

Clary waited for an answer. She looked him in the eyes, waiting. His lips pressed together as he stared back at her, still he said nothing. Clary could feel his hand release her hair and drop down. His grip on her waist loosened, and if she wanted to she could run. But she did not.

Clary watched as Raphael dropped his gaze, his hair falling in front of his eyes and she could see him bite his lip. That was enough for her. Clary quickly walked away. She could feel rage and anger course through her body as she walked into the living room.

She was half blind, not making sense of anything, she turned around to yell something back at Raphael, about how he was a jerk and a dick and a bastard and everything in between, but something else caught her eye. She stared at it for a few seconds for her mind to make sense of it, but it had to be, there was no other way.

On the desk, there was a large yellow envelope. It had been ripped open across the top, probably by Raphael, but there was nothing else on the desk, so, all of its contents still had to be inside. Clary walked over, aware that she should be running out of the hotel right now but she could not. She saw the messy scribbles across the front and she knew who it was from.

Simon.

Quickly, Clary grabbed the envelope and ran out the door. Maybe it was for revenge, maybe it was to protect Simon, or maybe it was for her advantage, Clary was not sure on why she had taken the envelope. But she knew it was important.

* * *

Outside the hotel the air was beginning to warm with the rise of the sun. How long had I been asleep? Clary thought. She half ran half walked to the institute, she tucked the envelope inside her jacket, _Raphael's jacket_, Clary thought bitterly. She walked through the front doors, were Isabelle was half asleep in one of the church pews. _Crap, they must have been up all night looking for me! _

Clary rushed past, straight to her room. Luckily, she did not encounter anyone else on the way. She entered the room slammed the door behind her, shrugged off the jacket throwing it carelessly onto her bed, and stared at the envelope. _Why would Simon have anything to do with Raphael?_


	7. Traitors

Yes, I'm aware of how late this chapter is, summer is busy with college planning and doctors and hospitals and all that fun shit. I'm aiming for a chapter a week, hopefully, so don't get mad at me.

Okay, so does anyone have any ideas for that little picture thing on the side of the story? I really don't like the idea of it but I figure I should put something up. Ideas? Please?

* * *

Chapter 7 Traitors

Jace's POV

Jace had spent the last six hours in Myrse's study staring at the list of names and the only thing he could comprehend was that he was number five. _Five? Shouldn't I be last? I'm the biggest challenge of them all, well except for Magnus maybe_, Jace thought. _People always remember the first and the last, but never the middle_, Jace thought again. _Sebastian must be messing with me,_ Jace concluded. However, Jace could not get part of himself to agree with the conclusion. It just was not right, the order that is, and then earlier today, Sebastian had not attacked the werewolves until after he and Alec had warned them.

Sebastian was probably sitting outside the institute now, watching them, and Jace and the others had no way of catching him, or finding him for that matter. _Maybe there's a traitor in the institute?_ An unwanted voice crept into Jace's head. Jace hated that voice.

But it was possible. Hodge was not here anymore, he was dead. Sebastian had killed him. It was only Myrse, Izzy, Alec, Max, Jocelyn, Clary and himself in the institute now. Robert had opted to stay in Idris and do some clave work or something like that. Robert's and Myrse's relationship had been deteriorating before the war and now they hardly even talked. So who could it be? No one seemed likely, and Jace hated to point fingers.

Raphael's POV

"_Do you love me?"_ The words had been haunting Raphael ever since Clary had said them. Replaying over and over in his mind, giving him a headache, something he had not had since he had let himself go without blood, three years ago. Raphael shut the memory out before it could start.

Raphael had considered chasing after Clary, but that was ridiculous. As the head vampire he could not be seen chasing after some girl, and a Nephilim at that. So he had stayed where he was and let Clary run out the door, down the halls, down the stairs until he could not hear her anymore. Then, Raphael had pushed her words out of his mind as he exited the room and Lily was waiting for him in the entryway.

"What the hell do you want?" Raphael practically sneered at her. She looked taken aback, her lips parted in retaliation but she did not speak; which was good considering that Raphael looked like he was ready to rip her heart out right now.

"I have confirmed that Camille is in Paris, as suspected." Lily stuttered; she kept her down, not daring to look up. Raphael walked back to him desk where Simon's letters were supposed to be. _Cowardly bastard_, Raphael thought. But the envelope was not there. Raphael glanced around the room; it was rare when he forgot something, even rarer when he misplaced something. However, he confirmed that the letters were not in the room.

"Did you take the information that Simon delivered to me?" Raphael asked; not even bothering to glance up at Lily.

"What? No of course not. Heck, I'm the one who brought the package up to your room when you were out." Lily answered, her voice was high pitched and squeaky. Raphael looked down at her; she was sitting in one of the chairs, her eyes wide and dark as she scanned the room. "I swear I set them on the desk, after that I never touched them." Lily said; her voice barely above a whisper. "No one else entered the room after that. Besides, you and that Nephilim that is." Lily said; she practically spat the word Nephilim.

"You're sure?" Raphael asked.

"Yes. Absolutely."

Simon's POV

When Simon arrived home Jacob was waiting for him. _Shit! What does it take to get away from these guys? _Simon stopped a good distance away from Jace, sizing him up. The only reason Jacob would risk coming to visit Simon was because it had something to do with Camille. And for Christ's sakes Simon had just dropped off all the information he had at the Dumort. Simon had a feeling this would all come back to screw him over in the near future.

"Jacob, what do you want?" Simon sighed; he walked up the steps to the front door of him home where Jacob was standing. Simon leaned against the railing next to Jacob who was doing the same thing, they stayed like that for a few moments, both of them facing the door, and avoiding each other's gaze. Then finally, Jacob spoke.

"Camille is coming back to New York in two days." Jacob said, he did not bother being quiet, there was no one else outside other than them.

"I already knew that, she sent me a letter yesterday. But why should I care?" Simon asked, he added a faux yawn to show how much he really did not care. Jacob stared at him with an incredulous look on his face. "Look Jacob, I did my part during the war, what I own Camille now is nothing." Simon said quickly. _Besides Raphael has a better offer_, Simon thought to himself.

"You agreed to help Camille get rid of Raphael. She plans to do that three nights from now, you're obligated to help."

"Or else?" Simon regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Jacob turned to him, eyeing him suspiciously.

"If you don't help, Camille will kill you. If for some unknown reason she fails in executing Raphael, then I'll make sure he kills you." Jacob said as he stared down at his hands." Simon watched Jacob for a moment, the guy was a coward; hiding behind others, behind Camille, behind Raphael, this guy was planning to be in the clear no matter what happened.

"You really think Raphael would kill me?" Simon asked.

"Of course, he hates you." Jacob looked up, confused. Simon looked him in the eyes for a long time, the silence between them was deafening. Then Jacob caught on to what Simon really meant. "You gave the information on Camille to Raphael." Jacob paled. "You're a traitor."

"How can I be a traitor when I owe Camille nothing? Besides, Raphael's offer was too good to pass up. So, if you send Camille after me, I'll just tell Raphael where she is and who she's coming for. If Raphael wins, then I'll make sure he knows that you were the traitor in his coven. Got it?" Simon stared Jacob down as Jacob vigorously shook his head in agreement with Simon. "Now I want you to get off my porch and I better never see you here again, got that?" Simon asked, Jacob nodded and walked down the stairs into the night. But Simon knew that would not be the last he saw of Jacob.

Clary's POV

It was midafternoon when Clary finally struck up the courage to open Simon's letters. She had spent the time sleeping, drawing, and even trying to eat a little something, anything that prolonged her decision. Clary picked one piece of paper from the pile and read it over. It must have been the first of many because it was dated back when Valentine had taken over. It was simply a proposition, asking to make a deal. _I'll help you evade the Nephilim if you give me information on Raphael._

Clary set it aside and went through a few more letters. No matter how much she tried though, Clary could not figure out a reason why Simon would hand all of this information over. _Had Raphael forced him to? Had Raphael threatened him?_ Clary pushed the questions out of her mind; she did not want to believe Raphael would do something like that. _But he would, wouldn't he? He hates Simon and wants Simon dead._ _Raphael is ruthless when it comes to getting what he wants, you know that don't you?_ Clary pushed the thoughts away again, focusing every last brain cell on the letter before her. It was the last in the package and probable the longest, even thought it was no more than a paragraph.

_In three days I'll arrive in New York to finish off my insubordinate second. I would like to see you by my side when I do. There is a park not far from the Dumont that is empty for the most part at night. I suspect that would make as good a location as any, especially if it means shutting up Raphael quietly_.

Clary did not need to read the signature at the bottom to know it was from Camille. All the letters in the curving, arched handwriting were hers. The words on the page made Clary sick. This woman expected Simon to be by her side when she killed Raphael. Clary could not ignore the pang of guilt inside her as she realized she had just stolen information that would be the difference between life and death for Raphael.

Raphael's POV

"You're sure you left the letters here?" Raphael asked again. He had been questioning Lily for hours and her answers were always the same. But Raphael felt like he was missing something. He knew the only other person who had been here was Clary, but what on earth would drive Clary to steal papers that were meaningless to her.

"Yes, Raphael. I have told you again and again, I am sure I left them on the desk. I never opened them. The only people who have been in here in the past twenty our hours are you, me, and the Nephilim girl." Lily sighed, Raphael looked her over; she really was not lying.

"Fine, you're free to go." Raphael said dismissively. Lily left quickly, probably to avoid any more questions.

Raphael really only had one option and he was not in the mood to drag Clary out of the institute kicking and screaming until she had admitted she had stolen the information, if he could even find a way into the institute that is. But he had to make sure she was the only possibility.

He used that as an excuse for why he found himself sitting on the couch, cell phone at his ear, waiting for the other line to pick up.

"What do you want now?" Simon's voice was drowsy on the other end, and clearly upset. The idiot was still trying to stay away during the day and sleep at night.

"Did you deliver the information last night or not?" Raphael snapped; he was not in the mood for this right now.

"Yes." Simon's voice crackled over the phone.

"Then why is it not here?"

"I don't know; I didn't really stick around." Simon said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Raphael hung up, leaving Simon confused on the other end. Raphael stared at the blinking indicator on the phone, stating that the call had ended.

Finally after a few seconds he unclenched his other hand; he had not even realized he was clenching it. He looked down at the blood that trickled from the wounds his own nails had carved in his skin. They were already starting to heal, but Raphael could feel the sting of pain. _Apparently, the daylighter drives me crazier than I thought._

Raphael was pulled out of his thoughts by the ringing of the cell phone, "What?" He asked, then Lily's voice answered, she was probably still scared to death from his earlier questioning and Raphael did not blame her.

"There's a plane leaving for Paris at six. One ticket left, you want it?"


	8. Love is not Everything

Just a heads up, there is a small time jump between chapters seven and eight.

* * *

Chapter 8 Love Is Not Everything

Jace's POV

One problem with the clave is that it had fallen behind with the rapid pace of the technological world of mundanes. Hence why Nephilim used horses in Idris for travel, why the buildings were less modern, and why they used swords, knives and all other weapons except guns. The clave saw tradition and culture as important; which might have been part of the reason why the clave had been so slow in in-cooperating women into the shadowhunter ranks.

It was nice and all, having some of that old cultural feel, but it really became a bitch when one was trying to figure out how someone else could be spying on a particular institute! That was Jace's problem at the moment: How is Sebastian watching us without us noticing.

If the institute had those nifty, mundane, security cameras, Jace could just go into a secret room behind a wall and see all the cameras posted around the institute and be able to point to one and say "there he is". However, that was not the case. Jace had been working on this problem for two days. For two days he had been without Clary. For two days he had buried himself in is work, not even Alec could pull him out of his lulled state of mind.

Jace had set up a huge, detailed map of the institute on a table in the library. He also had maps of the surrounding buildings, inside and out, which included a coffee shop, another church, a few boutiques, and of course, the towering business executive buildings that filled Manhattan. All of which contained a possible line of sight inside the institute, that is if one was a Nephilim or possibly a downworlder. Yet, there was no evidence that Sebastian had ever used these to spy on Jace and the others.

"Are you still looking at those things?" Isabelle walked through the library doors and somehow managed to gracefully fall onto a nearby couch, stretched her legs out, and propped her elbow up on the arm of the couch to rest her head in her hand she looked at Jace expectantly. "Have you even slept since your little spat with Clary?"

Jace did not answer. Technically, he had slept, sort of. He had managed to get an hour of sleep before the nightmares came and he had woken in cold sweats. So now he only let himself dose off every now and then, never for more than an hour, setting an alarm on his cell phone to make sure he always woke up.

Isabelle sighed. "You know, maybe if you got some sleep, you might realize something obvious you missed on those maps." Isabelle said in a matter-o-fact tone; Jace looked up and glared at her through half closed eyes. "Oh don't even try it, you're ready to pass out on that table and in your current condition, you look like a cocaine addict who didn't get his fix. Stop it." Isabelle scolded. Jace still did not comment, he really was not in the mood to banter with Izzy. "Look, I get it. This thing with Sebastian is important to you and dealing with your relationship with Clary is putting an extra strain on you that you really don't need. How about I take over for a few hours and you can get some shut eye?" Isabelle's tone and demeanor had changed immensely, she looked true to her word and just a little concerned, Jace noted.

"Fine, but I'm sleeping on the couch. And you're entitled to wake me if you figure anything out." Jace said. Isabelle got off the couch and walked over to the maps while Jace crashed on to the couch. He did not even have a second to decide whether to dose or actually sleep before his eyes shut.

Simon's POV

Simon had thought about returning to the Dumort to assist Lily in finding the information on Camille. But he had not. It was not his problem anymore, besides Raphael had probably landed in Paris by now if not sooner.

However Jacob was a problem. If Jacob had been telling the truth, then Camille was in New York now and Simon had not missed the irony on this one. Raphael was in Paris and Camille was in New York, both hoping to kill the other, so much for that. But Jacob could tell Camille what Simon had done, how Simon had given information to Raphael, how Simon had betrayed Camille.

Simon's thoughts were interrupted when he heard a knock on the door. He had been in his room, messing with his electric guitar with the amp all the way up, but it did not matter, he could still hear the knock on the door and hear the quick breathes of someone who had ran all the way to his house. Simon set the guitar down on its stand and walked briskly down the stairs and pulled open the front door to reveal a very tired and panting Clary.

"Camille is on her way to kill Raphael," Clary said, her cheeks were red from running and she had Simon's letters crumpled in her hand.

"So you're the one who stole those," Simon said absentmindedly. "What were you doing with Raphael the other night? Wait, never mind, I probably don't want to know." Clary pushed Simon out of the way and stepped through the door into the foyer.

"That's beside the point, Simon."

"Okay, what's the point?"

Clary sighed, "The point is Camille is here to kill Raphael." Clary shoved the letters at Simon, "and you knew about it!" Clary said, her voice was rising and Simon could not tell if she was angry or upset, probably both.

"Yes. But I did give that information to Raphael, which apparently he never got to read because you stole it and now he's in Paris." Clary stared at him blankly. "You didn't know that?" Simon asked; his voice was soft and just a little squeaky.

"He's in Paris? Why the fuck is he there, Camille is here!" Clary yelled, again Simon could not tell if she was angry or upset.

"I figured he had told you." Simon said meekly, he looked down at the floor, hiding his emotions from her.

"No he didn't. And I finally worked up the courage to confront you about this," she waved the letters in his face, "apparently it's too late." Clary finished. She had her hands on her hips and her green eyes felt like a stake piercing Simon's soul.

"Look, Clary I'm sorry. I figured Raphael would have told you, but this is all kind of your fault." Simon said the last words so soft he was surprised Clary could hear him.

"My fault? Mine? And how the fuck do you figure that, Simon?" Simon flinched at her words and Clary calmed herself slightly.

"Well, you are the one who stole the papers which were meant for Raphael." Simon said; he felt like a two year old who had been caught drawing on the walls. Clary did not reply, her face paled and her eyes darkened.

"You're right," If Simon had been human he would have asked for her to speak up. "It is my fault." Simon saw Clary's lower lip quiver and her eyes smart.

"Look, you didn't realize what was going on, but everything's going to be alright. Technically, Raphael is safe 'cause he's in Paris." Simon said, trying to cheer Clary up. "Please don't cry," Simon begged.

"I'm not going to cry!" But Clary's voice cracked as she said the words. "I should- I should go now, I'm sorry Simon." Clary said, her voice was soft and her words sounded almost hollow, like she was reading from a text book. "I really am sorry."

"You were worried about Raphael." Simon said; Clary flinched at the words and looked down at her hands.

"A little," Clary admitted softly.

"Are you dating him?"

"I'm not sure," Clary admitted.

"What about Jace?" Simon instantly regretted the question. He did not have a direct view of Clary's face but he could see her body tense and her lips press into a tight line.

"Jace is a dick. He's been ignoring everyone, focusing on Sebastian for the past few days." Clary answered; obviously she did not want to talk about Jace.

"Okay then," Simon was not really sure what to say next. He had accepted that he and Clary would never be together quite some time ago, but talking about other guys with her was still awkward. "Well if you had to choose one of them, which one would it be?"

Clary looked up at him and raised her eyebrows, "Seriously?" She asked; Simon shrugged. "They both have their ups and downs," Clary sighed and turned back towards the door.

"Clary look, I know it's your life and all but just remember something," Clary turned back towards Simon, her hand on the doorknob ready to bolt if needed. "Love isn't everything." Simon stated; Clary raised her eyebrow at him. "What I mean is, think about being with each guy would mean. Jace is Nephilim, sure he can be an ass and has his moments, but all couples have their problems, what makes them last is that they can work the problems out." Simon said, trying to clarify.

"Okay, since you're the oh-so-sudden-and-insightful expert on dating advice, what do you have to say about Raphael?" Clary asked; there were hints of suspicion and mockery in her voice.

"With Raphael you can be with him forever, literally. But remember what you're giving up." Simon said the last phrase quietly. He did not need to explain the last bit. Simon had been turned into a vampire unwillingly, he had no choice, but Clary did, she still does.

"Simon I know," Clary started, but Simon cut her off.

"Do you? With Jace you can have a semi normal life, marriage, family, kids, you two can grow old together, fight demons together, I guess that last one would be normal for Nephilim, and you won't have to watch your friends grow old and die while you never change." Simon's voice had risen slightly at that last part, and he did his best to hide his emotions, but Clary could see right through his façade.

"Is that what it's all about? You don't want to leave your friends behind?" Clary asked.

"Of course I don't want that, if I had it my way, I would still be your geeky, mundane friend." Simon said. "I'm not trying to hurt you Clary; I just want you to realize what you would be giving up if you chose Raphael." Simon said; he looked down at the ground, avoiding Clary's gaze.

"I know and I'm not sure that I'm willing to give that up yet," Clary said, Simon refused to look up at her; he heard the door open as she exited the building and he heard her walk down the stairs and out into the midafternoon day.

Clary's POV

Clary was upset with herself for steeling the information from Raphael, but perhaps in the long run it had been a good thing. Clary had the last letter that Camille had sent Simon tucked away in her jacket pocket. Clary knew where Camille had planned to meet Simon and Jacob, who supposedly were supposed to get Raphael to be there as well. But Raphael would not be there, Jacob probably would be and Clary had no clue if Simon was planning on being there tonight or not.

But she would be there.

Jace's POV

"Hey sleepy head, you're finally up." Isabelle exclaimed; she did not even bother to look away from the map that she had been staring at for the past half hour. Isabelle, like Jace, had not been able to figure out anything from the maps. Jace had heard Alec come in a few times to help, but he always got frustrated which in turn had frustrated Isabelle so she always ended up kicking him out.

"Did you find anything?" Jace asked; he ran his fingers through his tanged hair and yawned.

"Nope, hence, why I never woke you up." Isabelle said curtly. Jace looked at her, eyes boring into hers, but of course, Isabelle was the one person who would never back down. She looked up at him, and shrugged. "Although I have a theory," Isabelle started.

"Go on."

"Look it's a theory and I'm really hoping it's not true, okay?" Isabelle said, Jace nodded for her to continue, "So Sebastian is technically a Nephilim, a demented, sadistic Nephilim, but a Nephilim none the less." Isabelle paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "So you know how all Nephilim have access to the institute as long as they are here to serve Raziel right?" Isabelle asked.

"Yes, but Sebastian has no desire to serve anyone."

"Correct, but what if he had a second motive, and he was putting that one first in his mind as a means to gain access to the institute?"

"Like what?" Jace rolled his eyes.

"Like refuge." Isabelle stated; Jace could feel the blood drain from his face. Refuge for stray or endangered Nephilim was one of the reasons institutes had been built after all. "Think about it, Valentine had nothing to do with New York, besides Clary's mother that is. But Valentine would not have had any places in the City, at least, not close enough for Sebastian to spy on us from. So Sebastian could use the institute as refuge, he has nowhere else to go in the city." Isabelle finished; Jace felt like he had just aged twenty years.

"But he has others with him, we saw the pictures. Are you saying Sebastian has been hiding a group of rebel Nephilim in our own home?"

"He wouldn't have to, he could just be using the refuge reason as a way to get in, it doesn't necessarily mean he's staying here 24/7, that'd be too much of a risk."

"Sebastian likes taking risks," Jace retorted.

"I know."

Clary's POV

Clary had spent her time in a small café located next to the park where Camille was supposed to show. Camille had never seen Clary before, but that did not mean she did not know what Clary looked like. Word had spread quickly of Clary and Raphael working together, so as far as Clary knew, Camille had a pretty good picture of Clary in her mind.

But that was not enough for Clary to back down. If Raphael was not here to handle Camille, well, someone had to be, and Clary had personally volunteered herself, not that the other vampires of the Dumort knew about it.

The sun had set about an hour ago and the staff had begun to clean the coffee machines and the other tables. Clary stayed where she was, the meeting was not until ten o'clock and the café would be closed by then. However, wandering around in a dark, deserted park did not suit Clary so she would stay at the café as long as she could. All she had to do was wait.

Jace's POV

"We may have a lead on Sebastian," Jace said as he burst through the kitchen doors. He had spent the last five minutes running around the institute looking for Myrse until he had stumbled across Alec who had informed Jace that Myrse was ordering take out for dinner.

Myrse put down the phone and Jace could hear the guy on the other line mumble something about not getting paid enough to put up with indecisive customers and hang up.

"Well?" Myrse looked at Jace in question.

"We think he may be in the institute." Jace said, Myrse raised her eyebrow and gave Jace an are-you-on-drugs look. "No I'm not high, but we think Sebastian may be seeking refuge in the institute as a way to spy on us, that's how he was able to attack the werewolves so quickly." Jace explained; Myrse's brow creased in worry.

"That is possible." She muttered, more to herself than to Jace.

"Where's Clary?" Jace asked, a sudden desperation filled his thoughts. _What if Clary's in danger? What if Sebastian has her? _

"Out again, my best guess would be with Simon." Myrse responded; she was only half paying attention to the growing, frantic look on Jace's face.

"Are you sure?" Isabelle asked.

"Mostly. Clary doesn't seem to want much to do with us lately." Myrse said, giving Jace an accusing look.

"She's probably with her bloodsucker boyfriend," Jace muttered, although Myrse was too busy to notice. Isabelle glanced at Jace and raised her eyebrows, but Jace shrugged her concerned look off. "I guess we'll have to find her, and fast."

Clary's POV

It was nine fifty five and Clary had positioned herself in a cluster of low branch trees that she hoped hid her from view. The most difficult thing about finding the spot was that she had no idea what direction Camille would come from. Or Jacob for that matter, or Simon; either of those two would give away her position as well.

Clary did not dare look at her phone to figure out the time, the glow from the screen could give her away. So she ended up peeking through the branches every thirty seconds, her anxiety sky rocketing.

Then she saw a faint silhouette in the faded glow of a street lamp. The shape gracefully walked across the park, and took a seat on a bench that was about twenty feet from Clary. _Great, if it's a vampire, they can probably hear me breathing_, Clary thought sullenly. But the figure made no movement that gave any indication that it knew Clary was there. _Human? _

Clary needed to know for sure, the figure was tall; she had noticed that when it had walked in front of her, but it was also slender; however, Clary doubted it was female_. So maybe it's Jacob_. Clary crept forward, doing her best to avoid the dead leaves, which to Clary's surprise, she managed quite well. _Maybe I have been learning some things from the others_, Clary thought, trying to keep her mind on the task at hand.

The figure turned his head to the side, Clary was sure it was male now, and Clary froze. Out of her peripheral vision she could see another figure approaching the one on the bench, this one was female. Clary was more exposed than she had been behind the trees but neither figure saw her.

"Archer, is anyone here?" the female voice was soft and commanding at the same time, it had to be Camille.

"No ma'am." Archer replied. Clary was trying to remember something. Something that Raphael had said to her once, about vampire having some kind of human servant. What were they called? Clary could not recall the name but she figured that was what Archer was, a human servant.

"Good, and Jacob has been summoned?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"The daylighter?"

"Yes, ma'am," Clary could not figure out how the guy did not get tired of listening to her demands and still have the same respectful tone. Clary focused her attention on the problem at hand: there were two of them, and a third to come, maybe four. _Thank God Raphael is not here, _Clary thought. Clary guessed she had maybe five minutes before Jacob showed up, so she would have to act fast.

Clary continued moving to her left making her way so that she was positioned behind the bench and behind Archer, who was sitting on the bench, and Camille who was standing maybe five feet in front of Archer. It was a painfully slow process, trying to be quiet so they could not hear her. Twice, Clary stumbled and Camille turned around, searching for the source of the noise. Lucky for Clary, Camille did not see her.

Clary made a lunge towards Archer, wrapped one arm around his neck to hold him in place and swung the other arm with the stake towards his neck. If he was human, or close to it, the blow should kill him. But Clary had not been prepared for his strength, he was stronger than any human Clary had known and managed to stand up, pulling Clary with him. She could hear cursing from Archer and Camille. But Clary held on. She had managed to graze his neck near the carotid artery and now she swung her arm again, this time aiming to strike home.

Clary heard a muffled cry as the stake sliced through skin and blood poured from the wound. Archer's body collapsed and Clary heard a yelp of panic from Camille. _Perhaps the guy had meant something to her?_ Clary did not bother questioning it, she had no time.

Quickly Clary moved towards Camille, lunged, and dived at her, but Camille was quicker. Clary missed her mark but managed to grab Camille's ankle dragging her to the ground, hopefully giving Clary the time she needed.

Clary had to crawl a few feet so she could get in range of Camille's heart. Her hands were sticky with blood but she managed to hold the stake in one hand and used all the force she could muster to pin Camille in place. She raised the stake, Camille's green eyes went wide with fear, and Clary brought the stake down… only to get knocked to the side.

Clary rolled for a few feet, the stake flew out of her hand. Clary froze for a second, desperately gasping for breath; every part of her body was sore. Clary looked up and she could see Jacob headed towards her, his face was a mask of hate and rage and Clary had nothing to defend herself with.

Then something, someone, rammed into Jacob and now it was Jacob's turn to look around widely, searching for his attacker. Clary wasted no time; her eyes scanned the ground searching for the stake, there: about fifteen feet in front of her she saw it. She ran for it, grabbed it, and targeted Camille who seemed just as enraged as Jacob, but Camille also looked ready to make a run for it. So Clary ran at her while Camille was distracted by her indecisiveness.

"Clary!" Clary could hear Simon's voice; he was probably just calling out to her so she would realize that Jacob's attacker was on her side. Clary reached Camille in what felt like less than a second, Camille clenched her hand in a fist and pulled it back, ready to swing. Clary dove for her waist and Camille swung too high and missed; Clary tackled Camille to the ground again.

Clary could hear Simon and Jacob yelling and cursing at each other a few yards away; she heard someone cry out but Clary could not be sure who; she was too focused on driving the stake through Camille's heart.

As soon as the stake pierced Camille's skin and drove down through her heart, Clary felt a wave of exhaustion roll over her. _No not now!_ Clary's subconscious practically yelled at her. Jacob is still here.

Clary got to her feet and turned just in time to see Jacob running at her. Clary could not see Simon but she did not have time to think about that now, Clary rolled to her right, she did not even know she could do it, instinct perhaps, and successfully dodged Jacob. But that was not enough. Jacob halted with inhuman speed and turned in Clary's direction, he was moving slower now, calculating her next move.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Clary registered that if Jacob was attacking her now, that meant that Simon was either injured or worse. Clary watched Jacob and he watched her, each trying to predict the other's move. Clary reached for a weapon, but she had none, she had left the stake in Camille's heart, _why did I do such a stupid thing?_ Clary thought desperately.

Jacob was in between Clary and the stake, no doubt on purpose. Clary wanted to sprint over to Simon, call a time out or something, like they do at sporting events, but that was not an option here. It was either attack or be attacked.

Jacob lunged to Clary's left, too quick for Clary to see and he knocked her to the ground, her head hit the frozen earth, threatening to knock her unconscious. Clary struggle against Jacob as she saw a flashed of white: fangs.

Then Jacob froze, and with him it was like time froze. Everything was silent and all Clary could see was the soft glow of the seraph blade that had torn through Jacob's heart. Blood seeped from the wound and fell onto Clary; she could not register the situation. _It could not be Simon, Simon was- was, where was Simon? Oh god! _Clary wanted to cry, she needed to get to Simon. But Clary could not get herself to move, because as Jacob's body fell to the side beside her, Clary could see his murderer, her savior.

Sebastian.


	9. Convicted

Chapter 9 Conviction

Clary stared up into Sebastian's black eyes. With his pale skin and fair hair, his face looked like a skull, a grinning, wicked skull. Clary glanced to either side, desperate for an escape. _This is it_, she thought, _this is the end_.

"If you think I'm going to kill you, well then you'd be wrong, Clarissa." Maybe it was just Clary's mind playing tricks on her, but it seemed like Sebastian had hissed her name, dragging out the 's'. "That is, I don't plan to kill you yet, unlike your friend." Sebastian's voice was soft, which was his way of mocking her as Clary realized what he was talking about. Simon. Clary turned her head mechanically towards where Simon's body lay, it was still, but then he's a vampire, he does not breathe so even if he is unconscious his body should be still, right?

"You," Clary could not form the words, tears sprung in her eyes and even though she did not want Sebastian to see her cry, she could not help it. Simon can't really be dead, can he?

"It's a shame, having to go out of order, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity after I figured out what you were planning to do." Sebastian went on, but Clary barely heard him. She was tired and light headed from the blow to her head she had taken when Jacob had tackled her.

"You, you killed him?" Clary had meant it to be an accusation of his actions, but the words were soft, choking sounds as Clary tried desperately not to ball her eyes out.

"See for yourself." Those were the last words Clary heard. She jumped to her feet and lunged at Sebastian, but it was a worthless attempt. Sebastian stepped to the side and Clary stumbled, falling to her knees. Rage filled her mind and turned her vision red, she could hear Sebastian laughing at her, from in front of her, then from the side, then from everything. Clary felt like the world was spinning and her vision started to go dark.

Clary sat down on the ground, head between her knees, breathing deep, steady breathes, and slowly her vision cleared, although there was a sharp ringing in her ears. The hit to her head combined with the news of Simon's death had must have caused this Clary figured.

Simon!

Clary looked over at Simon's body. _Maybe he's not dead…_ the voice in her mind said, it was a desperate half-hearted voice, but Clary clung to the chance that Simon might still be alive. Slowly Clary crawled towards Simon's body, if he had been human she would have checked his pulse, his breathing, she would have tried to give him CPR, but Simon was not human. He was a vampire, because of her. He had gotten involved in the Nephilim world because of her. Raphael hated him because of her. He had been targeted by Sebastian because she had cared for him. And now he was dead because of her. Clary could feel a new batch of tears coming on. She let them fall; she did not have the strength to keep the tears at bay anymore.

Almost mechanically, Clary brought out her cell phone, the glow from the screen blinded Clary and as her eyes adjusted to the light, she could see the damage done by Sebastian, there was no way Jacob had done this.

There were scratch marks and bruises that were probably from the fight with Jacob, but the killer blow had been a clean stab through the heart. The edges of the wound were smooth, done by a blade. By Sebastian's sword no doubt.

Clary pressed the number four on her cell phone and then the green call button. "Jace, it's me: Clary… I need you at the park two blocks down from the Dumort…no I don't know the name…look, don't ask questions, just hurry. And bring the others; we're going to need their help."

* * *

When the others arrived Clary was half relieved and half filled with dread, after all, none of this would have happened if it were not for her actions. Clary watched as Jace, Izzy, Myrse, Jocelyn, and Alec took in the scene.

There were four bodies in all. Camille's, which still had the stake sticking out of her heart, the human subjugate's, Archer's, lay a few feet by the bench. Jacob's body lay a few feet away from Camille and had a matching stab wound to Simon's body: a clean run through the heart.

"Clary, what in hell," Isabelle could not finish the question as her eyes fell on Simon's motionless body. Clary could hear a squeaking sound which she guessed was Isabelle's attempt to hold back a scream.

"Clary, what happened?" Clary looked up into her mother's ashened face. Jocelyn was also staring at Simon's body, her eyes were glassy with potential tears but she held herself together. Slowly Jocelyn walked over and knelt down next to Clary. Jocelyn looked Clary in the eyes, her mother was obviously trying her best to look comforting and concerned for her daughter, but Clary could see the masked anger behind her mother's eyes. Was the anger towards her or to Simon's murderer? _Maybe I am his murderer_, Clary thought, _after all Simon would not be here if it were not for me, he probably figured out my plan and had decided to come to my rescue. _

"It-it was supposed to be for Raphael," Clary said; biting back her sobs. "Camille, she wanted- she was planning-pl-planning to kill him. And Jacob was going to help, help her, Camille I mean." Clary was having trouble keeping the words straight her mind. Jocelyn pulled her close into an embrace and gently rubbed her back.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's all going to be okay." Jocelyn said. Clary buried her face in her mother's shoulder, but she could still hear the others trying to figure out what to do with the bodies, she could hear someone on a cell phone, Myrse, talking about a 'clean-up'.

"And, and then, then he was here," Clary's eyes stung, "He killed Simon, oh my god he killed him, and I didn't help, I should have helped but I didn't and now Simon's dead." Clary cried. "And then he was here, well there, well in front of me, he said he would not kill me yet, talking about a list, an order, a,"

"A list?" Clary's mother cut her off, she pushed Clary back holding Clary by her shoulders, Jocelyn looked her dead in the eyes. "What list? Did Jacob kill Simon?" Clary's mother asked urgently. Clary shook her head.

"No. No, no, no, Jacob and Simon fought, but Jacob must have gotten away because he came after me after I killed Camille." Clary said, stumbling over the words.

"So you killed Jacob?" Clary's mother asked, Clary could see the fear in Jocelyn's voice, but it was not because she feared that her daughter was a killer. There was something else, something that Clary was missing.

"No, Sebastian killed Jacob, and Sebastian killed Simon. He said so. Sebastian had a seraph blade that he used on Jacob and that wound matches Simon's. He said that he was not going to kill me yet, something about an order, and something about not being able to pass up the opportunity." Clary rambled on. Eventually Jocelyn was able to calm Clary down, at least for now.

* * *

"She saw him! She mentioned the list, she mentioned the order, hell she even mentioned something about an opportunity. I think that all points to the fact that Sebastian has a way of knowing what, when, how, and why we are doing what we're doing, and if Isabelle's theory is the best we got; then I say we take action and find where Sebastian has been in this place." Clary could hear her mother yelling at someone, probably Myrse, down the hall.

Clary's head hurt, the pounding in her skull was excruciating, and if she had to guess, this was how a hangover would feel. Clary rolled over onto her side and sat up, her head spun, threatening to send her falling back on the waited for the dizziness to subside, then she carefully got to her feet and walked over to the door, she needed to know what was going on.

Down the hall, Myrse and Jocelyn were arguing about something in Jocelyn's room. Clary tapped on the door, found that it was open, and nudged it aside and slipped through the narrow opening she had created.

"Clary, what are you doing up?" Jocelyn asked; there was concern on her face; she looked like she had aged ten years in one night. Myrse looked over and gave Clary a once over, somehow, Clary figured Myrse was asking the same question, only silently.

"Couldn't sleep," Clary croaked; her throat was sore, maybe it was from crying in her sleep. "What are you talking about?" Clary asked.

"Isabelle has a theory that Sebastian has been getting into the institute to spy on us. He's using 'refuge' as a way to get past the front doors." Myrse explained; she was all business. "Sadly, it's the best and only theory we have so far. And it's also might be how Sebastian knew you were meeting Camille tonight." Myrse finished; Clary gawked.

"Look Clary, what we need to know is how you knew Camille was planning to kill Raphael, that part we don't understand. Does it have something to do with Simon?" Clary's mom spoke up; she was emphasizing the sincerity and remorse in her voice.

"Well, uh," Clary's mind blanked. How the hell was she supposed to explain her relationship with Raphael, hell, if they even had a relationship, Clary's mind fumbled for words as her mouth tripped over 'ums' and 'wells'.

"Clary," Jocelyn's tone had a hint of warning, like when a parent called a child's name, making the child tell the truth when the parent knew the child was ready to lie; which, technically was true in this situation. Clary was still stalling when Isabelle walked in the room.

"Mom, there's someone here to see you," Isabelle started; Myrse cut her off.

"It can wait."

"Mom! I really don't think it can," Isabelle's voice rose. It was late in the night, and Clary had a good feeling that no one had gotten any sleep. Even she had not managed to get more than an hour.

"It can." And with that Isabelle stomped out of the room, yelling random insults directed at no one in particular. Myrse turned her attention back to Clary.

"Well you know how Raphael and I worked together," Clary started; both Jocelyn and Myrse nodded in unison, eager to get to the point of all this. "Well, Raphael made Jace really mad, so I went to talk to Raphael about it, and then Raphael made me mad. So I might have stolen some information from the Dumort and that information might have contained plans to kill Raphael that Simon might have told Raphael about because Simon might have been working with Camille for a while until Raphael might have offered Simon a better deal." Clary crammed all the words together into one, huge, long sentence, hoping that it did not give any information about Raphael's and Clary's real relationship.

"So by 'might' you mean 'actually'?" Myrse asked; Jocelyn raised her eyebrows_. Crap, of course my own mother would know something's up, there's no fooling the woman_.

"Yeah," Clary said as she looked down at the floor, twisting her fingers together.

"Well, I guess that will work. However, I should probably go find out the ever important guest we have in the middle of the night that my daughter is screaming about." Myrse concluded and walked out of the room in a hurry.

"Clary, is there something else you want to tell me?" Jocelyn asked; Clary gulped.

"No."

"How did Raphael make Jace mad?" Crap, of course she asks the question that had the answer that caused all of this.

"Raphael just said some stuff. You know how Jace is," Clary said; Jocelyn raised her eyebrows again, which was only her mother's way of saying: go on, elaborate on that for me.

"Well, Raphael and I kind of, may of, sort of had a thing, when you and all the other Nephilim were, you know, nonexistent," Clary stammered, she felt her face flush and she felt like she might faint.

"What kind of thing did you sort of maybe kind of have with Raphael?" Jocelyn asked; there was an edge to her voice that gave an emanate warning to Clary.

"Uhhhh," Lucky for Clary, she was spared any further explanation of the 'thing' she had had with Raphael because Myrse came barging into the room with a frantic look on her face. Her blue eyes were wide and glassy and her hair looked windblown, as if she had been sprinting down the halls.

"Clary, where's the information you took from the Dumort, I want to look at it before," Myrse paused, took a deep breath and began again. "Before things happen."

"It's in my room, on the dresser," Clary said, "Oh and here's this," Clary took the crinkled letter out of her pocket that contained the details of Camille's confrontation plans for Raphael. Clary handed it over to Myrse who took it and stuffed it into her blazer pocket and looked over her shoulder. Something was obviously driving this woman up the wall.

"Look, Clary whatever happens, we've all got you back here, even Jace." Myrse said, she was trying to keep her voice calm and steady but it just was not happening.

"Myrse what's wrong?" Jocelyn asked; she had not missed the anxiety in Myrse's voice either. Then Clary and her mother saw the cause of Myrse's frustration. Behind Myrse was the inquisitor, as well as bother Zachariah.

"Myrse, what's going on?" Jocelyn asked hesitantly. Clary stared at the inquisitor, who stared back at her with a blank expression on his face; of course, brother Zachariah's face was covered by the hood of his robe.

"Jocelyn, Clary, I'm so sorry." Myrse apologized as she stepped back so the other two could enter the room. For once Myrse was speechless, even backed up again the wall as if she was trying to melt into it.

"Clarissa Morgenstern, how old are you?" The inquisitor asked his voice was gruff.

"Sixteen," Clary said, then thought again. "No seventeen, I turned seventeen a few days ago." Clary said, huh, with everything going on, she had forgotten her own birthday.

"Then you are old enough to be held in the silent city's cells." The inquisitor informed her. Clary felt the blood drain from her face, she felt as if the inquisitor had just admitted he was secretly a clown; bid, red nose and all.

"Excuse me, but what the hell are you talking about?" Jocelyn spoke up; Clary was still stunned.

"Your daughter is being held accountable for the premeditated murder of two downworlders, as well as one of the vampire's human subjugates." The inquisitor replied. "One of the downworlders, Camille Belcourt, held a considerably high place in the vampire and downworlder community, her murder cannot be taken lightly and the downworld will surely take it seriously; especially since it was carried out by a Nephilim." The inquisitor further explained; Clary wanted to scream.

"You're kidding. You can't put a mere child in the silent city. And for a crime that may or may not have been premeditated and may and may not have been her fault. She could have been acting in self-defense." Jocelyn was full out yelling now.

"I understand your frustration and this will all be settled when Clary answers under the mortal sword." Clary blanched at the inquisitor's words. This was ridiculous. "Now if you would come quietly, Clary."

Clary was frozen on the spot; there was no way she was going to let herself get thrown in jail for this, for Raphael. But regardless, Clary felt herself move forward. It was not the work of neither the silent brother not the inquisitor, it was all Clary, why Clary's legs had betrayed her, she had no idea.

"Clary, Clary what are you doing?" Jocelyn screamed; Clary could hear the fear and emotional pain her mother's voice. _It was a good thing I never explained the 'thing' between me and Raphael_, Clary thought.

"Now of course, there will be a bail amount set at around one hundred thousand dollars, if you actually have the money. However, she should only be held in the cells for no more than a week. We would not want to permanently scar the mind of someone so young and with so much potential." The inquisitor said; his tone was light and obviously in a hurry. Clary did not look back at her mother or Myrse as she left the room, the institute.

* * *

The bone city was not a place Clary liked, especially after fighting that dragon/demon thing in the hidden layer beneath the cells_. Is it still there?_ Clary thought absent mindedly. Brother Zachariah led Clary through the maze of stairs and corridors until they were at the last level, well second to last level.

_If I had it my way, you would be on house arrest at the institute_, Zachariah's voice was in Clary's head and it held an apologetic tone. Clary did not answer. She simply stepped into the cell and looked at the small nine foot by nine foot room. Unlike Jace she was not an escape threat, so they did not cuff her to the wall. Zachariah simply shut the door behind her and Clary was cast into darkness.

* * *

*I have no clue when Clary's birthday is, so I put it on November 12th. If anyone's wondering it's November 15th in the story. I completely just made that up. :)

*The way I figure it, since there's a limited amount of Nephilim to protect the world, I figure they would have a separate age standard for their own people, such as age of consent, drinking age, adulthoodness, and so on. That's why Clary was able to be thrown into jail. Seventeen is the age of an adult in the Nephilim world, and yes I completely made that up right now too.

*Thirdly, I have no clue who the inquisitor is, so I just made it a man and didn't give him a name. If someone has a cool name for me, well I just might use it if you want me to. :)


	10. My Hero sarcasm

Chapter 10 My Hero (sarcasm)

Clary had no idea how long she had been in the prison cell. However, it had been long enough for her to get a restless night's sleep on the old, cold, hard bed in the cell; and then wake to what the silent brothers must have used as their excuse for breakfast. Of course, then did not actually eat; Clary did.

Clary had eaten the stuff. She guessed it was some kind of cereal, maybe. It had no flavor and she had been given water to wash it down. _Oh, such hospitality_. None of the few silent brothers she saw tried to communicate with her. It all must have been a part of being imprisoned down here. Isolation. With the weight of thousands, possibly millions, of past shadowhunters pressing down on her from every which way, it was a pretty good psychological attack to break a person's mind. Of course, then it was also meant for holding downworlders, so some of the effects were lost on Clary. Why should she be afraid of her own people?

Now Clary sat in the dark, unable to see her hand in front of her that she waved back and forth, testing the darkness. When suddenly, Clary's vision was pierced by a white light, unmistakably witch light. Clary got up and walked over to her cell door. She grabbed the bars with her hands and did her best to lean forward and look to the sides to see her visitor.

Clary could hear the footsteps. They were light and quick. Then Clary could make out a lean, definitely feminine shape.

"Izzy," The cry in Clary's voice caught herself by surprise. She had not realized how much she had missed her friends. Isabelle smiled but the smile did not touch her eyes and Clary instantly knew something was wrong. "What is it?" Clary asked. Was she going to be accused of murder? What was the inquisitor going to do to her? What were the silent brothers going to do to her? Had they found Sebastian?

"Clary," Isabelle paused, looked down at the ground for a moment, and sighed; definitely not a good sign from Isabelle. "My mother and Jocelyn don't have the money to bail you out." Clary had not even thought of being released. She had been concerned with so many other things, long term things. However, Clary could still feel the fire inside her shrink a little smaller; she was going to be stuck down here for at least a week, and if Sebastian found that out, well, he might not be able to pass up this opportunity either.

"Okay," Clary said slowly. Myrse had sent her daughter all the way down here just to tell her she could not be bailed out? Something did not fit. "What else?" Clary asked; suspicion obvious in her voice.

"Well," Isabelle started. "You mentioned Sebastian was at the crime scene, and that Sebastian killed Simon and Jacob." Clary nodded in agreement, "There really isn't much proof of that, Clary."

"So you're saying now I'm responsible for those deaths as well?"

"They think you might be." Isabelle's voice was small and high pitched; so unlike Isabelle.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Clary screamed; her own anger surprising her. Maybe this place really was driving her insane. "I swear he was there, I had no other weapon besides the stake, and Simon's and Jacob's wounds were clean runs through the heart. With a blade. A blade I did not have!" Clary explained further.

"Yes, we realize that, everyone does. However, no one has seen Sebastian other than you and his victims. And don't even ask; we will not raise the dead. It's unpleasant, and not to mention me and everyone else would end up down here with you for doing it." Isabelle stated; her tone was matter-o-fact.

"I could have realized that on my own." Clary snapped; crossing her arms and furrowing her brow. "Just try and find Sebastian before he kills anyone else." Clary said softly, she was looking down at the ground. "Right now I don't matter. I want him to either be dead on sight, or to be whimpering in that cell next to mine, got that?" Clary stated; she had done her best to make her tone as tough as possible, but Clary had a pretty good idea that she had failed at that.

"Are you worried about Jace or Raphael?" Isabelle asked; of course, Clary could not hide anything.

"Both," Clary answered; avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah," Isabelle said with just a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "See ya later, Clary." Isabelle turned and walked back the way she had come. Clary watched her leave, and when she could not see Isabelle any longer she watched the witch light bounce off the walls and listened to Isabelle's soft footsteps. After all, Clary might not get to see Isabelle later.

* * *

Clary did not know how much time had passed since Isabelle's visit, her phone had died hours ago, well she guessed it was hours ago. Yet, again Clary heard footsteps coming her way and her first thought was that it was Sebastian. Clary got herself prepared for a fight, which really would not be much of a fight considering that she was exhausted and had no weapons. But she was in luck; it was just a silent brother carrying a small tray with a bowl and a cup of water.

The silent brother handed her the tray through a smaller door set into the bars that held her prisoner. Clary took the tray, thanked him even though he said nothing in response. _I must be the plague_, Clary thought. She walked back to her cot and sat down as the silent brother left the room, she officially had maybe a half hour of dim light to eat by until the silent brother took the tray back as well as the tiny witch light stone to eat by.

Clary looked at the contents in the bowl. It was the color of pancakes but it certainly was not pancakes, it was some kind of soup, maybe oatmeal, or mush.

"I'm not that hungry yet." Clary said to no one in particular. She set the tray with the bowl down by the door to the cell and took the glass of water back to her bed and sipped it in silence.

* * *

It had to be at least a day she had been down here, if not more. Clary had slept a little more and now she was staring at what she guessed was the ceiling. After all, in pitch blackness it was not like she could see it.

"_Clarissa Morgenstern_," Clary jumped at the voice inside her head; she knew it was one of the silent brothers of course, but still, who does that? Clary was half temped to give a half-hearted 'what' back when she got the answer. _"You seem to have friends in high places_," The voice continued; Clary raised her eyebrow in question, now she was intrigued.

Clary sat up on the cot, her hair was a mess, and she did not need to see it to know, looking for the speaker. Everything was still dark. _"Someone has paid your bail; I am on my way down to release you."_ Clary was frozen; again, her first thought was Sebastian, but then she thought things through. Everyone was after Sebastian; there was no way the silent brothers would have given her up to Sebastian.

_But then maybe it's not a silent brother in my head, it's Sebastian pretending to be one and now he's on his way down to kill me, or maybe rape me._ Clary thought, thinking back to the kiss she had shared with her brother before the war, _or maybe rape me then kill me. Great, I'm insane, _Clary thought miserably, she needed a real bed to get some real sleep on.

When the silent brother reached the end of the stairs, Clary was already standing by the cell door ready to be released. She had not realized how bad this place really was.

The silent brother opened the door, and Clary walked out. Then the silent brother led her up the stairs all the way to the first floor level. Clary felt like she was in the middle of the sun. It was so bright up here, the torches on the walls stung her eyes and made them water; _what would the outside feel like? What would it feel like if I had been down there any longer? _Clary pushed the questions to the back of her mind when she saw her 'rescuer'.

About ten feet in front of her was Raphael standing with his arms crossed and a blank look on his face that would probably turn to rage once they were outside the silent city. There were two other silent brothers that stood on either side of Raphael_; maybe downworlders can't go unattended here?_ Clary thought briefly. They were releasing her into the custody of a vampire? Then Clary remembered the terms of the release, and she realized she would not be going back to the institute. The last time she had seen Raphael had gone badly, and now this time might be even worse. Clary wanted to scream at Raphael, at the Silent Brothers, instead she settled for mediocre sarcasm.

"You have got to be kidding me."

* * *

Yes, I know, it's short, really short compared to other chapters, but the next one should be pretty long and a lot of that Clary Raphael stuff. So be happy!


	11. The Bane of My Existance

So first off, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in two weeks. In my defense I was in the hospital with a broken leg and they gave me morphine so a chapter from me would have been pretty, well, fucked up. I was a very happy patient :P So here ya'll go, it's long, it's kind of funny, and I don't know what it's called, fluffy? That sounds odd to me; just read it.

Chapter 11 The Bane of My Existence

Obviously, if Raphael was here it was night time. So Clary did not have to deal with being blinded by the sun and the bane of her existence at the same time; although, if Clary had had the choice, she would have picked being blinded by the sun. Outside was nice, even if it was the middle of a Manhattan grave yard, it was nice. The smog filled air, traffic noise, angry couples shouting at each other, Clary had missed it all. It was cool and the air made Clary's skin crawl. She was dressed in a long sleeve, white sweater that clung to her body with the sleeves hanging off her shoulders and dark, navy jeans that hugged her hips and legs. Of course, the cold did not bother Raphael.

As they walked towards the exit, Clary said nothing. She was too busy trying to judge the level of Raphael's anger, which was next to impossible because he had no sign of anger on his face. Clary had a guess she would experience all of his frustration and anger back at the hotel. Clary sighed, and wrapped her arms around herself, doing her best to fend off the cold.

Raphael glanced at Clary through the corner of his eye but quickly looked forward again, Clary sighed, exasperated. "Why are you here?" Clary asked; breaking the silence.

"To bail you out, they don't exactly let you do that over the phone." Raphael answered; his words were quick and even.

"Why? Where'd you even get the money?" Clary said; she had several ideas of how he got the money and all of them were illegal in some way.

"When you're immortal you tend to end up with a lot of cash; unless you're Magnus that is." Raphael commented dryly. "And because it would be irresponsible on my part to leave my novia in jail." Raphael said, answering Clary's second question. Clary stopped where she was and looked at him. She must have had the most confused look on her face because Raphael sighed and answered her silent questions, "girlfriend," he repeated in English.

"Last time I checked, we don't have a relationship." Clary stated; she had not moved since she had stopped dead in her tracks and now Raphael was standing about five feet away, a look of exasperation and annoyance on his face.

"Well, you're wrong. We need to get going, it's almost six and the sun will be up soon." Raphael said; turning his back to Clary and started walking again.

Clary had to jog to catch up to him. _And why are you trying to Catch up,_ Clary's conscious rose its ugly head. _Shut up,_ Clary replied. Clary caught up and brushed past Raphael to stand in front of him. "I believe it takes two to consent to a relationship." Clary said; Raphael rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well when one of them never seems to think things through, it's the other's job to make the decisions. In case you're wondering, you're the crazy one right now." Raphael said dryly; Clary gaped at him. _Did he really just say that to me? _Clary thought absentmindedly as Raphael grabbed her wrist and pulled her through the exit and around the corner to where the motorcycle was parked.

"I am not getting on that thing with you." Clary snapped; she crossed her arms in defiance, but one look from Raphael and he broke her. Dealing with Raphael when he was in this mood, whatever this mood was; was not easy. "Okay, maybe I'll get on that thing with you, but first you have to tell me why you're so damn pissed off." Clary said, her voice sounded more forceful than she had intended and for once, she was proud of it.

"I'm pissed off because you decided to steal my information on Camille, which prevented me from getting rid of her like I should have. Not to mention you did a shitty job of it, and got yourself thrown in jail for it as well." Raphael's words felt like the edge of a knife being run over her skin; they stung. Then did more than sting, heck, Clary could feel her eyes water. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ Clary thought. Clary took a deep breathe, and managed to keep the tears at bay.

"The letters were from Simon." Clary said with only a fraction of the force she had earlier.

"Yes, because he had been working for Camille but I managed to get him on my side, not that it matters anymore." Raphael said; his words were practically emotionless. _'Not that it matters anymore',_ the words replayed themselves over again in Clary's mind. She felt the tears well back up, shit.

"Once I knew what was going on, you were already gone." Clary said; her attempt at speaking the words without choking on them was pitiful and Raphael raised an eyebrow and maybe, just maybe his features softened a little with concern.

"You shouldn't have taken them in the first place." Raphael said, his voice was still strong, but the words did not bite as much. "You also should have altered Lily to your plans, she would have told me and I would have been back in time." Raphael finished.

Clary glanced up at him; she had been staring at her hands twisting her fingers together almost painfully, anything to distract her from the conversation at hand was welcome. "I didn't want you to get hurt." Clary said; her voice barely above a whisper. Raphael took his time to answer her. _Great, this is almost just as bad as when I asked if he loved me_, Clary thought.

"I can handle myself," was Raphael's only reply. _Okay, so we're back to him acting like a dick to me, I guess_, Clary thought; she was trying to think up any quick escape plans, of course, there were none. Raphael swung his leg over the motorcycle and motioned for Clary to get on behind him. She hesitated, but another look from Raphael and she obeyed. She clambered on, not near as gracefully as he had, and placed her hands on his hips. "We're not going to go through this again are we?" Raphael asked impatiently. Clary thought back to the first time she had been on a motorcycle with Raphael. Clary sighed, and slid forward so her thighs were touching his and wrapped her arms around his waist. _It's only so I don't fall to my death,_ Clary reminded herself; still, she felt that warm fuzzy feeling inside her and she could feel her cheeks flush, even in this cold.

* * *

Back at the Dumort, Clary practically ran through the door and up the stairs, much to Raphael's amusement. "Something wrong?" he asked, there was a small smile playing at his lips as he watched Clary.

"It's fucking cold outside, not that you would have noticed." Clary snapped back at him, she had her arms wrapped around her and was hopping from one foot to the other, trying to get warm.

"I would have offered you my jacket, but then you still have it." Raphael threw the words back at her, and Clary was speechless. True, Raphael was not wearing a jacket at the moment, and true, the black leather one was back at the institute. A picture of Jocelyn's face entered Clary's mind as she thought about her mother finding the jacket. _Maybe it is a good thing I didn't go back to the institute._

Clary stared Raphael down, and like every other time, it did not work. "I'm taking a shower." Clary said it as menacingly as possible. Raphael's eyes lit up.

"Want me to join you?"

"No." Clary walked through the bed room door and slammed it behind her.

After the shower Clary had warmed up and her temper had cooled down, which probably would not last since Raphael was in the same building. _In the same country,_ her conscious added.

Clary had found silk bikini bottoms and a matching silk top lying on the bed. Clary thought back to the girl who had brought her clothes the first night she had spent here. _Great, I have a personal shopper._ Clary wanted to do a face palm right about now. The soft, pale gold silk was to sheer and a little too revealing for Clary's liking though.

Clary glanced at the bed and felt her face flush. _No, not sleeping there_, Clary thought, although she desperately wanted to climb under the covers, curl up, and float off into sleep. Clary looked at the comforter again; it was definitely thick enough to keep her warm without the sheets and blankets beneath it. Clary looked at the door that connected the bedroom to the living room. _There is a couch in there_, Clary thought.

* * *

"What the hell did you do to my bed?" Raphael was not quite yelling, but it was close; he was definitely loud enough to pull Clary out of her drowsiness. _Damn and I was almost asleep,_ Clary thought.

Clary looked down at herself. She had curled up on the couch, her head resting on one of the gray/silver throw pillows. Although Clary could bet that was not why Raphael looked so baffled. Clary had pulled the comforter from the bed and dragged it over to the couch. She was buried in the soft fabric and it felt luxurious against her skin. "I was cold." Clary said with faux innocence.

"You do know there's a bed in the other room?" Raphael asked; he was still staring at her with an incredulous look on his face; Clary nodded.

"You know those nights, well, maybe you don't anymore, but remember when you were human and there were always those nights where no matter what, you could not fall asleep in bed so you moved to the couch to sleep? Well, I'm having one of those nights. And since there are no blankets out here, I decided to borrow this." Clary said, tugging the comforter to emphasis her point; Raphael stared at her.

"That place really did drive you insane. No wonder why you wouldn't let me join you in the shower." Raphael muttered loud enough for Clary to hear. Clary grabbed one of the other throw pillows, a pale gold one a shade darker than her pajamas, and threw it at him. Raphael easily stepped out of the way and towards Clary, leaving the pillow lying on the floor. "I'm sure I can find a way to help you sleep in bed," Raphael added; the corners of his mouth turned slightly upward and his eyes were bright in the dim light.

Clary sat up, letting the comforter slide down her revealing the silky spaghetti strap top beneath. She reached across to the other side of the couch and grabbed the other gray/silver pillow and threw it at Raphael.

"Would you stop chucking those things at me?" Raphael said as he stepped aside again and let the pillow fall to the side. Clary looked up at him, defiance in her eyes, or so she hoped.

"Maybe, I have two left just in case." Clary stated; Raphael rolled his eyes and muttered something in Spanish. Clary could hardly make sense of what was happening as Raphael grabbed her wrist and pulled her up, then sat down himself, and finally pulled her back down so she was snuggled up against his chest. "I could smother you with one," Clary commented dryly as she tried to wriggle out of his arms.

"Yeah, tell me how that works out for ya." Raphael replied, as he shifted their position so that he was stretched across the length of the couch, leaning against the couch's arm, while Clary was tucked between the back of the couch and Raphael. _Great,_ was the only sarcastic thing Clary could come up with.

Clary was trapped. _It's not a total loss,_ Clary thought, but quickly shut the thought down before it could go anywhere else, like the bedroom. Clary tried to struggle out of Raphael's arms again to no effect. She heard him laugh at her, _oh you think this is funny, I'll give you something funny_, Clary thought, she tried again to escape and again she failed. Clary gave up, she blamed it on her lack of energy but she did take some comfort in resting her against his chest, her free hand, playing with the buttons on Raphael's shirt near his abdomen.

"You should let me go; I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I got thrown in jail." Clary finally spoke up. It was in fact true, no matter how hard she had tried in the Silent City; she could never really push the traumatic events out of her head.

"If you're really that tired, I would think you wouldn't have a problem falling asleep right now." Raphael replied; Clary gave one last desperate attempt at getting away and failed miserably.

"Fine, maybe I'm not that tired, but I know something else we could do," Clary was officially winging it; seduction was not her thing, she had never done it, never tried it, but hey, there's a first for everything. Clary could feel her heart race and her face flush, but she did not let that faze her. She was still trapped between the back of the couch and Raphael so Clary could only do so much. _Great, I'm a beginner in seduction starting at an expert level,_ Clary's blushed deepened as she thought the words.

Clary casually traced her fingers down Raphael's shirt, taking her time; she played with the hem for a few seconds before slipping her hand beneath the soft fabric and grazing her fingers against the skin of his abdomen; Clary could feel the muscles contract at her touch and Raphael's grip around her waist tightened. When he did not say anything, Clary took it as a good sign; she brushed her fingers lightly across his skin once more before an unwelcome thought entered her mind, _Up or down?_ Clary was not sure if she was going to pale or blush at the thought. She decided to go with up, _up is_ _safe, up won't lead to the both of us being naked tonight, this morning, well, whatever. _Clary thought.

Clary could still feel her cheeks redden as she traced her fingers up Raphael's chest. It always surprised her that his skin was warm, not cold like she would have imagined, like how a vampire should feel to her. After all, hadn't Simon felt cold to her? Clary's mind did a small nose dive at the thought of Simon. Simon had just died to protect her, even thought it was her own fault for the mess she had been in, and here she was trying to seduce Raphael just so she could get away from him in the end. Clary continued to trace patterns across Raphael's skin as her mind wandered. All of the sudden she felt horrible; her best friend was dead and this time he was not coming back. Clary turned her head up and glanced at Raphael, his head was back and his eyes were half closed, his grip on Clary was still tight enough that she couldn't get away but it had slackened some. To Clary's amazement she could feel a soft rise and fall in his chest; _apparently we all resort to human habits at some point in time,_ Clary thought sarcastically.

It did not matter; at least that's what Clary figured. She lifted her head further and slid her body up a few inches so her lips brushed against his jaw. She waited a second then did it again while sliding her hand that was under his shirt down to his belt, then slipping two of her fingers under the hem of his jeans. Clary herself was breathing slightly harder than she had intended; even her mind had begun to fog over and the idea of giving in and being with Raphael for the night seemed like an excellent way to forget all that had happened lately.

However, Clary did not have another second to consider it as Raphael grabbed her hand that was teasing him and gently brought it up and grazed the skin of her knuckled with his lips; Clary clamped her lips tight against the sigh in her throat.

"Earlier tonight when I bailed you out, I upset you; I'm sorry." Raphael's words were soft and they confused Clary. She thought back to an hour or so ago, yes she had been pretty mad, she had been ready to cry at one point, but she had not, she would not.

"I don't understand why you're bringing this up now," Clary finally responded; she looked up into Raphael's eyes; she probably had confusion written all over her face.

"Back when we were about to head to the Dumont, I may have said some things that were too harsh at that point in time, and I want you to know that I'm sorry about that. I don't want you to be angry or upset with me, and I certainly don't want you trying to seduce me just to get away." Raphael finished; his lips were maybe a millimeter away from hers and Clary had to resist the urge to close the distance. "Please say something," his words were barely audible and as he spoke he brushed his fingers across her jaw. Clary's mind had gone blank, her lips parted at his touch, ready to say something, but no words came out.

Had she really been so obvious in her intentions? Was she really that readable? Clary could not understand how Raphael always seemed to know her true intentions, maybe that was why her mind had blanked at his words? She had no idea what to say; it was all so unexpected and sweet and it threw Clary off her guard. Her mind wandered to their earlier conversation. About how she had stolen the papers, how she had ended up in jail, all of that seemed so minor compared to the fact that she had lost Simon. She had lost her best friend.

Clary felt her throat choke up and her eyes stung. She pulled her gaze away from Raphael, _I will not let him see me cry,_ the thought was like a siren blaring through her mind. Clary lowered her head back to Raphael's chest and focused on anything but Simon, her breathing, not letting her eyes water, Raphael's fingers as they gently stroked her hair. Maybe I need him more than I thought, an idea popped up in Clary's head; it probably was not the smartest idea considering the circumstances, but it seemed like the best way to keep her from remembering what had happened.

Slowly, Clary lifted her face and brought her lips up to Raphael's. Clary used her free to cup the side of his face, and kissed him; hard. Had she ever been the one to initiate any kind of contact between the two of them? Maybe at some point, but now there was only one thing on Clary's mind: distraction; and Raphael was the perfect person to provide that for her. Tentatively, Clary pushed her tongue into Raphael's mouth; the kiss was wonderful, and definitely what she needed right now, but there was something missing. Clary had enough experience with Raphael to know that he was holding back; and surely enough, Clary felt Raphael pull away from the kiss. Her eyes searched his for some silent answer for his actions and she got none.

"As much as I love knowing that you want me and not that stupid angel boy, I'm not going to be your easy way out." Raphael's words were soft but there was an underlying edge to them that told Clary he was serious. "Avoiding the problem now is only going to make it worse when it comes back; and if I'm not around, what are you going to do about it then?" Clary felt her cheeks redden even though her body felt like it had dropped twenty degrees. Again he had proved how easy she was to read.

"I could stay here and avoid the problem with you." Clary said the words but they were lacking emotion; there was no way she was going to get her way this time. Did she ever get her way with Raphael?

"As tempting as that is, I'm afraid I still have to say no." Clary was surprised to feel her heart drop at his words; it had been her last attempt at getting what she wanted, and maybe something else. Did she really want to stay with Raphael? Even though half the time he drove her crazy and the other half of the time he drove her, well, another type of crazy? Clary pushed the thought from her mind as Raphael moved her so she was positioned with her head tucked under his, her free hand resting over where his heart should beat, and his arms wrapped around her. "Clary, why did you take the information Simon had given me?" Raphael asked again; Clary felt her stomach do a back flip.

"I already told you," Clary said vaguely; she was not completely sure she wanted to have this conversation again. "And because I was mad at you," Clary added, "and I was wondering what Simon would want to have anything to do with you." Clary finished, she was hoping the last part would distract him from the second part.

"I had offered immunity from me having any reason to kill Simon in the future." Raphael said; explaining why Simon had given the information to him. Clary said nothing; she was not sure what to say so she waited for Raphael to continue. "He had been working with Camille during the war; she's the one who helped him evade Valentine's people." Raphael finished; Clary was still silent.

"What happened in Paris?" Clary asked; she was not sure why she was suddenly so interested in Raphael's trip.

"Nothing really; I arrived about three in the morning talked to the two coven leaders over there about what they know, asked around a bit, and came back home when I heard about the trouble you had gotten yourself into." Raphael explained; Clary wondered if he was leaving something out but she figured to let it pass; she was not in the mood to interrogate him.

"I'm sorry." Clary muttered; she did not like having to admit she was wrong and it was even harder for her to apologize; but Raphael deserved at least that, and so did Simon. Raphael did not say anything back to her for quite some time, Clary wondered if he was still mad at her.

"It's not a big deal anymore. Plus, with Jacob and Camille gone, I won't have to deal with any more disloyalty." Raphael said, his voice gave no emotion away and that practically drove Clary crazy. _How am I supposed to be with this guy if I can't even tell when he's pissed at me? _Well, sometimes she could tell, but those were all very obvious times. "What worries me more is how you're dealing with the daylighter's death." Raphael stated; Clary's mind blanked.

"I'd rather not talk about it." Clary muttered; she could feel her throat start to choke up again and her eyes start to water, this was going to be a long night. "He was my best friend, and now he's dead because of me." Clay felt herself say, oh great, here come the water works.

"He made his own decision to show up." Raphael commented.

"He made that decision because he knew I was in trouble. If I hadn't gone, then he wouldn't have gone." Clary stated; she did not want to talk about this anymore, there were already tears running down her cheeks and she did not want for it to get any further. Clary had managed to bottle up all her pain and sorrow over Simon and she had managed to keep it bottled up. But now, she could not hold it back any longer.

"People make strange decisions sometimes." Raphael commented; Clary could feel a change in the atmosphere. Something was different; somehow Clary knew that Raphael was not talking about Simon any more.

"You're talking about when you and your friends went into the Dumort to kill the vampires." Clary said, she was surprised she had remembered; at the time it had seemed like a ruse, but maybe it really was the truth.

"Only one vampire in particular, we hadn't counted on there being so many others." Raphael stated, Clary waited for him to continue. "There was a lot less covens in the states back then, even if it was only a few decades ago."

"How many vampires were there?"

"Close to five hundred, they occupied a few of the other buildings in the area as well as this one." Raphael explained. "But we all knew where the vampire that we wanted was."

"This building," Clary answered, she felt Raphael nod slightly. "Why were you after this vampire?" Clary asked.

"Because she killed my mother."

* * *

Another reason this chapter took so long is because I was not sure how to get it to "flow" right, but I did my best.

Also, everything about Raphael's past I'm making up, I don't know anything about it that I haven't read in the books so just go with it.


	12. The Past's Ghosts

Guess what everybody? The Olympics start in 13 days! Ahhhhh I'm so excited! :D :D:D

* * *

Chapter 12 Ghosts of Past

Clary was frozen. She was not sure if she should try and comfort Raphael or if she should question him further. He was finally, maybe, starting to open up to her and what Clary had found was stunning; and not in a good way. _The loss of a parent…_ Clary couldn't even begin to imagine what that must feel like. Sure, Valentine had died, but Clary never really considered him her parent, she had known him for maybe four weeks and that was more than enough for a life time.

_But what if I had lost my mom?_ Clary did not want to consider the possibility.

Clary's throat was tight, but it was not with tears for Simon anymore. It was with nervousness. Raphael had finally revealed a small, miniscule detail of his human life that had ultimately ended his human life, and Clary was scared to ask anything about it in fear that he might block her out again. Clary could feel her heart pounding in her chest through the thin silk of her tank top; and she knew Raphael could hear it. _Well this is just great, now what am I supposed to say?_ Clary unwittingly thought. Of course, her conscious was still capable of being snarky during a time like this.

"Why?" Clary felt the word slip through her lips and it was too late for her to take it back. Clary waited a few seconds; Raphael seemed tense and Clary actually wondered if Raphael had not heard her. "Why did a vampire kill your mother?" Clary asked; her voice an octave higher. Slowly, Clary raised her head so she could see Raphael's face; he looked as passive as ever. The only give away was his lips pressed into a tight line like they had been when Clary had asked if he loved her.

_Well, guess that's over_, Clary thought. In a way she felt defeated; she was finally going to get to know a little something about Raphael, considering he seemed to know her so well.

"Because the vampire was a rough," Raphael finally answered; Clary was so shocked she jumped at the words. "The others of that time, the vampires that is, wouldn't except what she truly was, what she was doing. Of course, I learned this after my mother's death and I had been turned."

"They were protecting her," Clary commented; Raphael nodded slowly.

"All vampires have the power of memorization or hypnosis to some degree; some stronger than others." Raphael said, "The rough had the power at a high enough level that she could manipulate more than just humans. Other downworlders, shadowhunters, even other vampires; she had been used her powers on the vampires of the New York clan; that's why they had been protecting her, in some cases one might say they saw her as their leader." Clary could practically feel the hate radiating off of Raphael; she had an idea of who this vampire was but she did not ask.

"So can you," Clary stated; Raphael's arm tightened around her and the temperature dropped a few degrees. Clary quickly explained, "You can manipulate people better than other vampires. That's how you got us into the Unseelie Court; you can manipulate downworlders." Clary finished and slowly Raphael relaxed.

"Yes," Clary could practically feel the calculation in his voice, "however, I use it in times of necessity; not just to get my way." Raphael finished; Clary was not exactly sure what to say to that. Raphael got his way a lot, A LOT; but Clary had never felt like she was under a spell of some sort; _maybe he just has natural charisma?_

"So the vampire who killed your mother?" Clary asked; she did not need to explain the question further.

"Camille. It just took me a lot longer than expected to get revenge," Raphael paused, "and then you stole it from me." Clary felt herself blush bright red at the comment; what an odd time to blush.

"I'm sorry," Clary said again, her face felt like hot iron, "I didn't realize it was on such a, um, personal level." Clary said; all of the sudden she felt very hot with mixed emotions of guilt and embarrassment.

"There's nothing we can really do about it now, we'll just add it to the list of things you have to repay me for." Raphael said; his voice had a lighter, more humorous tone.

"What list? I don't owe you anything anymore, I've repaid everything, even if there was nothing to repay." Clary said; although she was not completely sure of the accuracy of her words. Clary searched her memory for anything she might need to repay Raphael for but came up blank.

"Of course you do, there's dragging me on your little quest to save the shadowhunters; then hitting me in Alicante, me saving you from Valentine -the first time, that is-, then forcing me to work with the werewolves, getting me captured and beaten by Sebastian's men, breaking our deal and going off with the daylighter, me saving you from Valentine again, and finally your blood didn't work like you claimed it would, hermosa. You have a lot of catching up to do." Raphael explained; Clary's mind blanched. _Really? He was going to bring all that up?_

Clary did not know what to say; her face was hot and Clary was doing her best to calm her racing heart while she scrambled for a comeback. "That was, those were all," Clary rambled on and she was one-hundred and ten percent positive Raphael was silently laughing at her, "we were a team; we were supposed to help one another and the events that you listed just happened to be the circumstances we were forced to work together under." Clary finished; it was lame but it was the best she could come up with right now.

"Well you still didn't hold up your end of our bargain," Raphael said; Clary did not risk looking up at him. She kept her head on his chest and continued to stare at the black leather arm chairs across from the couch.

"No you bit me and you got my blood," Clary said hesitantly.

"But it didn't let me walk in sunlight, hermosa. And to think you promised," Raphael's voice was soft, barely above a whisper; but Clary could hear the underlying tone of humor and something else, something that warned Clary Raphael had a bigger motive for bringing this up now. Clary could feel Raphael's arm tighten around her waist as he used his free hand to tilt her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes. Clary could see a playful light in his eyes and it was nice to see, almost human even; but there was something darker there, something mischievous about this whole conversation.

"Technically, I never promised," Clary clarified.

"But you assured me it would work, and it didn't. Lying and not paying one's part of the deal are two things frowned upon by the clave you know."

"Like you would really go to the clave about this," Clary said; the strength in her words surprised her and gave her a needed boost of confidence.

"I could, but there are other ways to resolve the matter," Raphael commented. A few ideas flashed through Clary's mind and made her blush. _Was he really going to try this? _

"Other ways that I'm not entirely interested in," Clary commented, raising her hand to her lips and giving a faux yawn. "In fact, I'm quite tired, so I think it would be best if you let me sleep now." Clary waited for Raphael's response, but he only cocked his head to the side, a smile playing at his lips while he traced his fingers along Clary's jaw and down her neck.

"Your heart says differently," Raphael commented softly; Clary had forgotten he could hear her racing heartbeat.

"Well it's lying, it likes to do that around you," Clary said; she attempted to pull away from Raphael but he held her firm.

"I want you to take my blood," the words were a request; but Raphael spoke them like an order. Clary could feel her temperature drop and suddenly, despite the comforter and being snuggled up to Raphael, she was cold enough to shiver.

"Raphael, I," Clary started, "I, you know I can't," her words were barely audible; she felt frozen where she was. "Please, I told you, you're not turning me into a vampire," Clary said, but there was no force behind her words.

"I'm only saying for you to take my blood. I'm not asking to turn you into a vampire; not yet anyways." Raphael's voice was all serious and suddenly Clary wanted to be anywhere but here. This was not the conversation she needed to be having, especially after recent events.

"I'm not stupid, Raphael." Clary's voice was more forceful with a hint of anger to it. "I know the effects of vampire blood, I know it makes one insane and drives one back to the vampire whose blood one took; I saw what happened to Simon, remember?" Clary asked; she stared Raphael down but he did not drop his gaze as he replied.

"I remember. And I promise not to take advantage of you when you take my blood, no matter what you want." Raphael said; his voice was intimately soft and it threw Clary off. "When you decide you want me to turn you, that's when I will, no sooner."

"And what if I never want to?" Clary asked; it was a stupid question probably, but she was looking for any way out of this.

"You won't want that."

"Because of your blood," Clary finished; Raphael paused before answering her; _yeah there's the reason he'd be willing to wait till I wanted to be turned, because as soon as his blood took effect, I'll want to be turned. _

"Clary," Raphael started, he sounded exasperated. His fingers that had been lingering at her jaw line brushed down to her pulse on her neck. Clary watched as Raphael closed his eyes for a few seconds; his jaw was set in a way that told her he was focusing on something, or resisting something, and she could see the tip of his fangs through his parted lips. _Great, now he wants to bite me_, Clary thought_, although that would probably have less damaging effects rather than me biting him._

Raphael opened his eyes and Clary could see that the once playful light in his eyes had been replaced by something else. Clary held Raphael's gaze, even while his hand trailed down from the pulse point on her neck to the back of her thigh pulling it up so her leg was across his body. "You are the only one who doesn't obey me," Raphael whispered; his voice sounded lazy as his hand squeezed her thigh.

"I'm not one of your vampires," Clary said; she was determined to keep her cool, although her clenching muscles said otherwise.

"My words weren't limited to vampires," Raphael clarified.

"But they don't include me," Clary corrected; Raphael frowned.

"I want you to take my blood."

"Raphael," Clary started then sighed and rested her head against Raphael. Yes, the thought of being with Raphael forever was tempting, extremely tempting. But Clary had other things to consider: Her mother, her friends, the now late Simon and what he had told her, and then there was Jace. Could she leave Jace for good? Forever? "I can't." Clary said; although her voice was weak, no doubt an effect of Raphael's hand brushing up and down her thigh.

"It's no more than a few drops," Raphael whispered, his lips brushing the top of her head. _Hadn't he scolded me for trying to seduce him a few minutes ago?_ Clary thought; then she made a snap decision, one where Raphael would not be the only winner tonight.

"Fine," Clary said, her voice regaining its strength. "On one condition," Clary felt Raphael's hand squeeze her thigh dangerously hard, not hard enough to hurt her but close. "I want you to give me the rest of the story."

Raphael cocked his head, "What story?"

"The one you were telling me about earlier. You said Camille killed your mother, but you never explained why. Also, you never told me how you were turned, or how you even got vampire blood into your system in the first place." Clary said; she could feel the tension radiating off of Raphael.

"That is not a story for your ears, hermosa." Raphael said.

"Why not?" When Raphael did not answer right away, Clary could tell that the answer was not good, maybe even bad.

"Because I can promise you that you won't like the answer." Raphael finally answered; there was something in his voice, he was hiding something.

"Please, Raphael," Clary said; she was surprised by how much she really wanted to hear the answer whether it was good or bad; not just because Raphael had intrigued her or because she wanted a way to get back at him even before taking his blood, but because she wanted to know more about him, she wanted to know him, even his human life.

Clary waited as patiently as she could, but Raphael still did not reply. "If you don't tell me, then I won't take your blood." Clary said evenly; Raphael narrowed his eyes at her.

"You really think you're in a position to bargain with me?" Raphael asked; his tone was even but his words were quick and solid like a knife. Clary had focus to keep on topic, to keep herself on track to her goal. "The clave still considers you a suspect and you're in my custody. If you try and leave the Dumont without me, they'll send you right back to that jail. Do you really want that?" Raphael asked; _oh so he was going to play that card._

"Maybe I want to go back," Clary said; sarcasm dripping off her words. Clary pushed away from Raphael and got off the couch; surprisingly Raphael let her. "What's so bad about how you were turned? Maybe I want a second example of how this whole vampire blood thing works because I'll tell ya, I was not so impressed by Simon's case." Clary said; crossing her arms she looked down at Raphael who had sat up on the couch.

"My 'case', as you call it, would not be an example that would pertain to you," Raphael replied dryly. "Therefore it would be pointless to tell you." Clary sighed exasperatedly as Raphael stood up his body mere inches from her. Usually when Raphael was this up close and personal with her, he either intimidated her or scared her or turned her into a sighing, moaning mass of hormones, sometimes he managed all three at once. But now, for some unknown reason, he was just annoying her.

"Raphael please, I want to know," Clary said; her words were soft in an attempt to calm Raphael but Clary could tell it did not work. Raphael's eyes were dark with anger and Clary could tell by the clench in his jaw that he was holding back. "If we're to have a relationship then we need to at least learn about each other, didn't you basically say the same thing about a week ago?" Clary asked; she desperately wanted to wrap her arms around him and rest her head against his chest and make him understand but she did not, Raphael was too dangerous and unpredictable right now.

"Since you're under house arrest, I'll leave. I recommend you think my offer over." At first the words confused Clary, they were totally off topic. Then she got it: he was literally leaving.

"What no! Don't leave!" But Raphael was already at the door. He did not even look back as he left the room, closing the door to the main hall behind him. Clary was pretty sure it locked from the inside so she knew she was not trapped, but still, he just left. He literally walked out on her.

* * *

Clary's mind was still busy processing all that had happened as she ran to the bedroom to collect her clothes and shoes. _My freakin' angel, why does he have to be so stubborn? The story of his turning could not really be that bad, could it? _Clary pulled her jeans over the silk pajama bottom and reached for her shoes, once tied she raced for the door only to find the corridor empty. Of course, he would have been gone by now. Clary raced down the stairs and out the door that lead into the alley, the sky was still dark but the sun could peak at any moment now.

Clary gazed down the alley searching for Raphael; lucky for Clary it seemed she had managed to catch up with him.

"Raphael!" Clary screamed at the top of her lungs, he was at the end of the alley and Clary sprinted to catch up to him. "Raphael!" She called out again as she reached up and grabbed his shoulder.

Raphael spun around quicker than Clary's eyes could see and held her hand that had reached out to him in his hand; he was holding the wrist dangerously tight. For a second, Clary thought she could see anger on his face, but he quickly masked all emotion and looked down at her through apathetic eyes. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Me? You're the one who stormed out of the room. Forgive me if I felt compelled to go after you, especially when you decide to go out so close to sunrise." Despite her yelling Clary was more relieved than angry at him. Again she desperately wanted to wrap her arms around him and this time she did. Clary wrapped her arms around Raphael and buried her face in his chest. By Raphael's posture, Clary could guess that she had caught him off guard but surely enough, Clary felt Raphael's arms wrap around her ever so gently.

"I've already told you, I can," Raphael started.

"Don't, Raphael." Clary interrupted; for once it was her who had the voice with the warning edge. "I don't care if you think you can take care of yourself or if you think you're okay and whatever. Whether you really are or not, I'm still going to worry and try my damned hardest to make sure you're safe." Clary let the words tumble out of her mouth as she hugged Raphael tightly; she was so close to tears it frightened her. _And to think all he did was walk out of a room with me, what state would I be in if he had walked out of my life?_ The thought ran through her mind and it only made her hug Raphael tighter.

Raphael did not say anything for a long time; or maybe it just felt like a long time, whatever, it did not matter to Clary. The only this she could process in her head was that she really did not want to lose Raphael. _But are you ready to give up your mortality?_ Clary's conscious whispered; and still, Clary was not sure about that. _Giving up everything I've ever known for love? For a future with Raphael who happens to be the most unpredictable person on this earth, could I really do that?_ Clary pushed the thoughts away; she was torn between two things she desperately wanted and in no way was willing to give one up for the other.

"Clary," Raphael started as he un-wrapped her arms from around him and held her by her wrists while he backed her up against the alley wall. The sky was just barley starting to turn the darkest navy and in the faint light, Clary could see Raphael's eyes. They were dark but soft as Raphael dealt with whatever conflicting feelings he had right now on his own. Clary waited patiently; she relaxed against the wall despite the cold seeping through her thin tank top and focused on Raphael's hands grasping her wrists, the only contact between them. "If I tell you how I was turned you have to remember that's not who I am now. That was my past and a God awful past it was, not that I realized it at the time, but it has no effect on my decisions or actions or my feelings for you as of now." Raphael leaned forward so his forehead was against Clary's as he spoke.

Now Clary questioned if she really wanted to know this. On one hand she was as curious as ever about Raphael; on the other hand, if he told her this, then she would have to take his blood. Not to mention Clary had a small feeling of guilt in the pit of her stomach that he was only telling her this because he felt like he was being forced to, not because he truly wanted to.

"You asked why Camille killed my mother. She killed my mother because my mother happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, because of me. My mother had been out in the middle of the night because I hadn't bothered to come home for two days; she had been searching for me, leaving my younger brothers home alone in this same neighborhood because she wasn't willing to give up on me no matter what choices I made." Raphael paused; Clary stayed frozen where she was waiting patiently for Raphael to continue.

"Like I said Camille was a rogue, a rogue with social status and a rogue that could easily convince people otherwise. Rogues don't care who their victim is, male female, age, race, it means nothing to them as long as they get blood they're happy, at least for a little while."

"You blame yourself for your mother's death," Clary said, "earlier you said people make their own decisions," Clary said softly, she knew it was not much, but she was not sure how to comfort Raphael about this so it was all she could think of.

"Yes I did, but sometimes people make decisions through selfless acts of kindness that certain people don't deserve." Raphael muttered.

"You think you didn't deserve your own mother's love?" Clary asked.

"Maybe at the time I thought I deserved it, but now, after so many years I'm pretty sure I didn't." Raphael answered; Clary wanted to pull Raphael to her again but he still held her wrists tightly in his hands. "Now onto your second questions: how I got vampire blood in my system. The answer to that question will also answer the question of why I now think I didn't deserve my mother's love that drove her outside the house that night to look for me." Raphael said; Clary wanted to protest; she could see how hard admitting all this was for Raphael and she did not want to hurt him, even if it meant she did not get the information she wanted.

"Raphael, you don't have to," Clary said, she was surprised the words had slipped through her lips; but one look from Raphael and she knew that was no longer an option.

"You said you'd take my blood if I answered your questions. A deal's a deal, right?" Clary did not bother answering the question; instead she mentally braced herself for the information to come. "I got vampire blood in my system because I shared a needle with the wrong person." Raphael's voice was soft as he gazed at Clary, judging her reaction.

Clary was not sure how she should react, in a way it really was bad but still Clary couldn't help but want to be with him, if he had overcome all that, his past, then Clary definitely knew she wanted to be with him, even if their future together would be an uncertain one.

"You do get what I'm saying right, hermosa?" Raphael asked; Clary nodded but Raphael seemed unconvinced. "I was on drugs, and more than just your occasional puff of weed at a house party, I was constantly fucked up and I didn't give a shit. My mother died because of my selfishness. My friends and I already had had contact with the vampires in the area even though we weren't aware of it. One night a vamp was with us, of course we're to fucked to notice he's not human, and he lets it slip that some bitch named Camille has been killing people in the neighborhood, and well, you and Jace already know the rest of the story." Raphael practically spat the words; he was mad and disgusted, and all of his emotions were aimed at himself; Clary could see it in his eyes.

"Raphael," Clary started; she made her voice as soft as possible. Raphael's grip on her wrists slackened and Clary managed to pull herself free without much effort. For a few moments they just stood there, staring at each other, each trying to predict the other's moves. Carefully, Clary moved forward closing the distance between them. She stood up on her tip toes, placing her hands on Raphael's chest for balance, and gently pressed her lips to his; the kiss was less than a second, but it said more than any speech or lecture or advise that Clary could have given Raphael. "Yes, you made some mistakes, a lot of them by the sound of it and not minor ones. But what really matters is that you changed for the better." Clary said; her lips almost touching his.

In her peripheral vision Clary could see the sky had lightened a few more shades, it was still dark, but Clary knew that would not last long. "We should go inside," Clary whispered; but neither of them made any move towards the door.

"You think a person can be forgiven so easily?" Raphael asked; Clary was aware of his hands on her hips, steadying her and keeping her close at the same time.

"No, sometimes time does play a role in forgiveness, but I think you've had plenty of that to be forgiven." Clary answered; again she stood on her tip toes to give Raphael a small kiss on the lips, this one a fraction of a second longer. As Clary pulled away, she could feel Raphael's fingers tangle in her hair, "We really should go inside, Raphael." Clary repeated.

Raphael gave her a small smile, "we need to finish our deal," and with those words Clary felt the blood start to pound in her face and her body went numb.

"We can do that inside," Clary said.

"It won't take long," Raphael said softly. "And remember I promise I won't turn you into a vampire until you truly want it," Raphael added; Clary was torn between wanting desperately to trust Raphael and her fear.

"Okay," Clary practically mouthed the word rather than spoke it. The blood pounding in her head was drowning out just about everything, but somehow she managed to focus clearly on Raphael. Clary glanced once more up at the sky, it was still dark enough, but time was definitely not on their side now.

Clary could see the corners of Raphael's lips turn up in a slight smile as he drew her against him, his lips against the corner of her mouth.

"I don't have to bite you do I?" Clary felt like she had just won the award for most stupid question of the year. Yet, she could feel Raphael lips pull back in a small smile as he pressed his lips to hers and Clary could not help but smile back.

"No, there are other ways." Raphael said, his lips brushing against her cheek as he spoke.

Clary leaned back, so she could watch as Raphael raised one hand and slid his thumb across his forefinger so fast it was not until Clary saw the blood that she realized Raphael had literally just sliced his finger open.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Clary asked absentminded as she stared at the ruby red liquid that seeped out of the wound; Raphael shrugged.

"It could be worse; the wound will heal fast so there's no more time for you to procrastinate, hermosa." As he spoke Raphael raised his wounded finger to Clary's parted lips. Slowly, Raphael slipped his finger into Clary's mouth, while his other hand held her at the small of her back so she could not back away.

The taste of the blood took Clary by surprise and she had to resist the temptation to bite the intrusion that had entered her mouth. Gently, Clary sucked on the finger drawing more of the blood out, while Raphael pushed his finger deeper into her mouth and the arm around her waist tightened. Clary raised her hand and pulled down on Raphael's hand, therefore, successfully drawing his finger out of her mouth.

"I think that's enough," Clary whispered, referring to the blood. He heart was pounding and her face was flushed despite the cold and she could not understand why. Is there really something that erotic about drinking vampire blood? Clary pushed the question from her mind before she went searching for an answer.

"Perhaps," Raphael replied and turned his gaze to the door of the Dumont; Clary was only half sure that he was talking about the blood. "But we should get inside, the sun is almost up." And with that Clary let Raphael guide her back into the Dumort, his arm around her waist and his blood in her body.

* * *

By the time they got back upstairs, Clary felt as if she hadn't slept in days; but of course, that did not stop Raphael from grabbing her around the waist and drawing her to him so that Raphael had his arms wrapped around her from behind and so that Clary was immobilized.

"Raphael!" Clary tried to yell at him and was going to say more but she was cut off when she felt his lips brush the sensitive skin of her neck. Despite the night's events, Clary could feel hear heart race and her body temperature rise; she reached for Raphael's hands around her waist to remove them but she quickly gave up. "Really? Now?" Clary was not sure what else to say; her mind was already on overload from tonight, and she could practically feel it fracture when she felt Raphael bite down on her neck.

Raphael raised his head; his lips by her ear as he spoke, "Why not?" And just like that Clary's mind shattered further into oblivion. Her attention had turned to Raphael's hands around her waist, one of which had trailed down to the top button on her jeans while the other one slipped under the delicate, silk fabric of her tank top and pressed flat against the skin of her stomach.

"Because," and that was as far as Clary got. Why not? It's not like she had Jace to worry about anymore. Well, maybe a little bit, but not as much as she used to. Clary watched as Raphael's hand, the one that had been under her shirt, slipped away leaving her skin overly warm. Slowly, Raphael traced the silk strap of her top before gently tugging on it. Clary made a small effort to move away from Raphael so she could take the top off herself, but Raphael's arm around her waist tightened and held her still as he gave a sharp tug on her top resulting in a soft tearing sound and within a fraction of a second Clary could see the silky, golden fabric flutter to the floor. "Raphael! What the hell?" Clary yelled.

"They're just clothes," Raphael commented; his hand tracing patterns on the skin of her stomach while the other unsnapped the button of her pants.

"Oh, and I assume you're going to do the same with the rest of them?" Clary retorted; referring to her pants as Raphael gripped the edge of her jeans. Clary did not get an answer before he tore the fabric off her, the denim louder than the silk top had been; of course, and to Clary's dismay, Raphael had also managed to tear off the silk bottoms, leaving Clary feeling extremely vulnerable.

Clary's mind began to for over as Raphael leisurely traced his fingers of one hand down her hips and thighs while the other one traced its way up her stomach and chest, his fingers brushing across her collar bone, and then back down again. A small sigh escaped through Clary's lips as Raphael gently kissed her neck, and she leaned back into him, arching her neck to give him better access.

"Raphael," Clary began, but her mind had become so fogged over with heat that she could not get the rest of her words out. Clary tried to turn around in Raphael's arms to face him; but he pinned her against him, leaving no means of escape. "You should let me turn around," Clary said softly, as she reached up and behind to tangle her hands in Raphael's hair. She tilted her head back so out of the corner of her eye she could see him, and she was pretty sure she had the same electric look in her eyes as he did right now.

"No," The word was so soft that Clary almost did not hear it over the hum of her body. Raphael traced his fingers over her skin delicately, teasingly, and then he brushed his finger over her clit and her body felt like it might convulse. Clary lips parted and her breathing escalated while she silently begged him to do it again.

It seems her prayers were answered when Raphael did, rubbing his index finger in slow circles over her sensitized flesh. Clary strained against her restraints, Raphael's arms, as her body begged for a deeper, caress; but Raphael continued to hold her tight against him and Clary could feel the strain of his erection against her backside. Clary twisted awkwardly in Raphael's arms so that she had her head turned and her lips here brushing against his jaw line, while her body was still pinned flat against his. Her hands were still tangled in Raphael's hair so she pulled, bringing his lips to hers and kissed him ever so gently and bit his bottom lip; Clary got rewarded with a gently yet sharp pinch to her clitoris that shot fireworks through her body.

"Don't! Do that," Clary sighed; and through half closed eyes she saw the corners of Raphael's lips turn up in a smile; then he slipped one finger deep inside her. Clary groaned and arched her back, which was difficult with Raphael holding her so tightly, and all of her focus was on Raphael as he moved his finger inside her. That is until she took notice of his other hand moving up across her skin as it gently cupped her breast, sending her body into overload.

"Ra," Clary couldn't finish the words as she felt Raphael's lips against her neck, there was no doubt in her mind that she would wake up wearing his mark. Then she felt his teeth graze her skin as he inserted another finger inside her; the overload on her senses was too much for her. "Raphael, please," Clary begged, she was not sure what she was begging for, her mind was unable to think straight. Clary could feel Raphael smile against her skin, then she felt his lips move upwards to her mouth and her lips parted under his, the sensation was too much for her, too much at once, too much for her body to take, and it drove her over the edge, into a wonderful bliss.


	13. From Home to Hell

First off, don't give me a lecture on how long it's been since I've updated. I have good excuses :P such as surgery, AP summer homework, and just plain writer's block. (I hate writing sex scenes; it's just so hard to figure out what happens next). So just bear with me, because this chapter might seem a little random and flow a little less smoothly than other chapters.

* * *

Chapter 13 From Home to Hell

It must have been late afternoon that same day when Clary first felt the vampire blood at work. Tangled up in the sheets with Raphael next to her, Clary's mind felt as if there was a haze surrounding her thoughts, muting them, blurring the words together so that she had to concentrate to the point where her head hurt_. Is this what Simon felt like? This muteness, and to think he didn't know what was wrong at the time, at least I have an idea,_ even as Clary thought the words she had to use all her mental strength to hold on to them so she could make sense of them.

Clary turned on her side towards Raphael; of course, among all the haze the vampire who had blooded her was in perfect clarity. _Strange_, Clary though to herself, although she knew vampires did need sleep, they needed less than a human or Nephilim, so she had never actually seen Raphael asleep. Yeah, she could remember the time in the cabin that Magnus had brought the two of them to stay the night at, but even then Raphael had looked guarded. Maybe it was the fact that she knew and understood Raphael better now, or maybe it was the blood messing with her head. He looked a hell of a lot more innocent than he actually was; in more ways than one too.

Clary lay back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. She rubbed her hands against her eyes trying to clear the fog; only to achieve partial success. _If this is how I have to see the world for the next who-knows-how-long, then I'm going to need some seriously strong glasses, _at least her conscious was slowly clearing up; like that was really going to help.

Pushing up against the bed, Clary sat up, the sheet wrapped around her and the room spinning around her. _Where are my clothes?_ The words were distorted, as if she was trying to hear her mind through a wall. Slowly, she searched the room; then the memory came back and Clary cast an involuntary glare at Raphael. _Right…_

On the floor, a few feet away she could see Raphael's shirt, along with the rest of his clothes, so Clary swung her legs over the bed and took the few dizzying steps to grab Raphael's shirt and shrugged it on. The sleeves hung a good few inches over her finger tips, but everything that needed to be covered was covered which was what mattered. Clary ran her fingers through her hair and that was when she felt it: an overwhelming urge to crawl back in bed and get as close as possible to Raphael; and she almost did; if it weren't for her stubborn self that was slowly regaining control of her mind.

Methodically, Clary walked towards the bathroom door, closed it behind her, and locked it. She looked into the mirror, unsurprised to see her hair in a wild and untamed fashion with dark, purple smudges under her eyes from lack of sleep; it seemed to be becoming her daily look, or maybe it was a nightly look, the time did not matter. Whenever she woke up, this was the look she saw every time in the mirror.

Clary splashed some water on her face, and ran her fingers through her hair, but there was not much else she could do. It was not like she could go home looking like this. Her mother would have a heart attack. _Mom_, the thought was as clear as a bell in her mind, or maybe a siren, ringing in her head, threatening to spilt it open. _I'm in for a shitload when I go home, if I go home…_ the thought of staying was tempting, but Clary knew she could not run forever.

Clary looked at herself in the mirror again; her lack of clothing was another problem. The only clothes she had had been ripped to shreds last night, or well, early this morning. She had an idea to ask Lily or one of the other female vampires if she could borrow something for the day, but another glance at herself told her she was not going out the front door, even if the sun was still up. Clary sighed; she blamed Raphael.

There was a small noise on the other side of the door and Clary practically jumped when she heard it. _Heightened senses, another symptom of vampire blood,_ Clary reminded herself. _Maybe not as strong as a vampire's but it was strong enough, _Clary had not realized the blood would take over so fast. _How long until I lose my mind and beg Raphael to turn me into a vampire?_ The thought put an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

"Clary?" Clary could hear Raphael now; his voice had to be the most enticing sound she had ever heard. Stupid vampire blood.

"I'm in here," Clary called back; she was not sure if she regretted answering him so quickly, like she was subservient to him in some kind of way, or she regretted not answering him sooner. Once again, stupid vampire blood.

A few seconds later Clary heard the door handle rattle once, and she moved to unlock the door when it opened without her assistance.

"You broke the lock," Clary said, she sounded more observant than disapproving though. Yeah, observant of the fact that Raphael was standing two feet away in nothing more than his boxers, his hair as disheveled as hers, and a small, lopsided smile on his lips. Clary could feel the heat rise off her cheeks, so she forced her eyes back towards her reflection in the mirror.

Raphael glanced down at the handle with indifference and shrugged. "I broke the lock a long time ago; didn't really see any point in getting it fixed." Clary watched in the mirror as Raphael stepped closer and tugged at the collar of her/his shirt. "I want my shirt back." Raphael stated, his grin turned into a full out smirk, fangs and all.

Clary boldly turned to face him, crossed her arms, and looked up, glaring right at him. "I want my clothes back." She stated the words deliberately slow, making sure Raphael got that she was serious; of course, that really was not a threat to Raphael. Clary was defenseless if a fight broke out and she was not sure how the vampire blood would cause her to react to fighting the vampire who had given her the blood in the first place.

"They're on the floor back in the bedroom." Raphael replied, dragging Clary out of her thoughts as he leaned back against the marbled counter top and waved his hand in the direction of her ruined clothes. Clary rolled her eyes; Raphael smirked.

"I want my clothes back the way they were," Clary said; her voice held a surprisingly dangerous tone that even she had not expected. Now it was Raphael's turn to roll his eyes.

"You can get new clothes."

"So you expect me to prance out in the halls, down the street, to the mall or some store to get some new clothes? Or maybe just to one of the female vampire's quarters to borrow some clothes? Either way I'm sure the guys would love the view." Clary had not meant the words to sound so harsh but they were out before she could stop them and she watched as Raphael's smirk disappeared and his eyes darkened. Clary had half a mind to apologize but Raphael cut her off before she could start.

"I could lock you in my room," it was nothing less than a threat. Clary did not reply, she really had nothing to say but something must have shown in her eyes, maybe it was fear, whatever it was, it caused Raphael's demeanor to soften a fraction. "I'll get you some clothes," he replied; Clary still had no words to reply back.

Clary watched as Raphael exited the bathroom, grabbed some clothes out of a closet, pulled them on, and then she could hear the click of the door that lead into the main hall as he left. She was alone again. With Raphael gone, she could return to her thoughts about her mother. She had to get home. Everyone was probably worried about her, they knew where she was, she had sent a message to her mother saying that she was safe; but then Jocelyn probably did not consider Raphael safe.

Clary raked her fingers through her hair one last time and exited the bathroom quickly, heading for her phone in the living room. There, she had ten calls: four from her mother, three from Jace, and one each from Myrse, Alec, and Izzy; and then there were the text messages, _by the angel they managed to fill up my inbox._

Clary hesitated over the call button for her mother, _if I call her now, there's no telling what she'll do, _Clary thought, then almost instinctively went through her list of contacts and pressed the call button for Isabelle.

"Clary? Where the hell are you? I swear, if you don't tell me I will come through the phone and drag you right back to the institute!" Clary had to hold the phone a good eight inches away from her so Isabelle did not cause her to go deaf. _I should have called my mom…_

"Izzy, I'm sorry, look-"

"Don't you sorry me! You send one measly little message to your mother that you're with Raphael and that you're okay, but you don't bother to tell us anything else? You're mother turned into some dictator, drill sergeant about finding you and dragging you home. And then, just when we have a plan together, we find out that Raphael paid your bail and that you legally have to stay with him!"

Clary sighed and leaned against the wall as she listened to the rest of Isabelle's rant. _She has the right to yell at me;_ Clary thought glumly, _everyone has the right to yell at me right now._ Finally Isabelle calmed down, her breathing was heavy on the end and Clary could guess that Isabelle had not taken a breath through her entire speech.

"Isabelle, I don't know how to explain it to you, there's no easy way. You know Raphael paid the bail so I'm on a sort of 'house arrest' just at the Dumort. But I'm safe," Clary put extra emphasis on the word 'safe', "and isn't that what matters most. I'll come by the institute as soon as I can but-" Clary stumbled on finding the right words and Isabelle jumped at the chance to start yelling again.

"But what? You don't have any excuses Clary, after all that you've put us through, hurting Jace, hurting your mother, hurting everyone! Heck, even getting Simon killed!" Clary sucked in a breath to sharp and Isabelle's voice went dead on the other side; then Clary could hear a much more somber Isabelle, "I'm sorry, Clary. That was too far. Simon's death was, well, not entirely your fault but,"

"You think I got Simon killed?" Clary could barely speak the words, she felt dizzy, and it was not the vampire blood.

"I don't think you meant to get Simon killed," Isabelle said; her tone was dull, which only made the words hit Clary harder. "But considering the only reason that Simon would go and meet up with Jacob, Camille, and Raphael would be for you," Isabelle trailed off, even she could not finished the sentence, and Clary did not try to help.

"Look we can talk about this later, you can scream at me later; just for now, the point of the conversation is to tell you I. Am. Safe. Got that? Like I said I'll try and come to the institute soon okay?" Clary waited for Isabelle's answer.

"Try? What are you being held hostage?"

"Kind of," Clary muttered.

"Forget it Clary, I don't care if you come by or not, maybe it will be better if you just stay with your bloodsucker of a boyfriend. Bye." Clary head the click of the phone and the line went dead. Clary must have stared at the screen for a good five minutes before she finally set it down on the desk and slid into the desk chair.

Everything was wrong, just so wrong. She was supposed to be at the institute with Jace, actually 'with' Jace, and where was she? With Raphael because she had gotten thrown in jail because she had tried to save her friend which ended up getting her friend killed for nothing more than she wanted to protect Raphael, a guy she should hate, and a part of her really did hate Raphael. She hated that she had worked with him to bring back the Nephilim, she hated that she worried about him, she hated that she wanted to protect him, she hated that he had told Jace about the two of them, and she hated him for making her want to be with him.

Clary could feel her eyes start to smart, but at that moment Raphael walked back through the door, over to Clary and dropped a pair of jeans and a shirt on the desk. Clary got up, muttered a brief thank you, grabbed the clothes, and headed for the bathroom. That is, until Raphael gently grabbed her upper arm and tugged her back so she was facing him.

"What's wrong?" Raphael's voice was soft and his eyes were gazing at her steadily. Clary made an attempt to escape Raphael's grasp, but even if he was being gentle she could not get away. "What's wrong, Clary?"

Clary took her time answering; then finally she found her voice. "I need to go back to the institute. Today." Clary could tell her voice was hoarse just from holding back the tears and she knew Raphael had heard it to.

"Clary, you're supposed to,"

"Raphael, it doesn't matter that I'm supposed to stay with you, it's the fact that my mother and all the others are pissed at me and worried about me! I have to go back, I can't just leave them hanging or have them fussing over me, especially when Sebastian is out there killing people." The words tumbled from her lips so fast she couldn't stop them, and the more she talked, the more her voice gained its strength, so much so that by the time she was done, she was yelling and her eyes started to smart again.

Clary watched Raphael; he looked just as impassive as the first day she had entered the Dumort to ask for his help. Soon, she developed a fear that Raphael would not let her go, but that quickly dissipated when Raphael finally replied.

"Okay," Raphael sounded hesitant, and he had a right to be. Raphael could not go into the institute and therefore he would not be with her when she went in. Therefore, Raphael would be the one who got in trouble with the Silent Brothers, and therefore the clave. And Raphael being a vampire certainly did not help.

"I promise; there won't be any trouble with breaking the bail agreement. I'll just take the subway there, talk to them, and eventually get back here. I'll be back before midnight." Clary felt like a child reciting the curfew, but she pushed past that. The problem was that Clary was not sure she would be back by midnight, by the sound of Isabelle's rage Clary could guess that was only the tip of the iceberg.

"I'm going with you." Raphael said.

"You can't get into the institute."

"I'll wait outside." Clary could tell by his tone that that was the end of it. Clary was not going to get any better than that.

"What time is it?"

"Six, the sun went down an hour ago." Raphael answered.

"I'll go get dressed." Clary said as Raphael released her arm and she headed for the bathroom. She paused for a fraction of a second before turning the handle on the door, she could still feel the hum of the vampire blood in her mind, but it was fainter now, probably since she was wide awake. _What was that thing about vampire blood? Something about it getting stronger when the sun was down? Great, just what I need._

* * *

Clary had managed to change in record time, scrubbed her face with more water, hoping to look a little more, well, alive, and even stole a brush out of a draw and ran it through her hair to where it was still a mess, but it was not I-just-spent-the-whole-day-in-bed-having-sex mess.

She paused for a second before opening the bathroom door_, I'm probably about to walk into world war III when I see the others, _Clary thought glumly. She turned the handle, opening the door so she could see Raphael waiting for her. _But then I've earned_ it.

* * *

Amazingly, Clary had convinced Raphael to take the subway with her to the institute; she had pointed out that 'it would probably be best if they did not know you were coming with me, a flying motorcycle might piss them off before I even walk in the door'. Raphael did not seem up for an argument, so Clary made sure they got on the subway before Raphael had a chance to change his mind.

It was probably about six thirty and the subway was packed with people on their commute home. There were small children that had been picked up from daycare by their exhausted parents, there were the classic New York, stereo-type business men and women, and then there were other youth like Clary and Raphael. Basically, it was packed full, and Clary had a feeling Raphael was regretting letting her talk him into this.

* * *

They arrived at the institute at seven; and Clary could feel her stomach drop. She had not realized how much she was dreading this. She felt dizzy; she wanted to sit down, like on the other side of the world. She could feel Raphael wrap his arm around her waist, but she was not sure if it was a gesture of affection or if he was trying to hold her up. Silently the two walked up the front steps, when they were at the top, Clary turned to face Raphael; her hands at her sides, and she knew she had worry scrawled all over her face.

"You don't actually have to do this, you know?" Raphael said; Clary could not read the emotion on his face, if she had to guess it would either be curiosity or amusement. _Why the hell would he find this amusing? It's not amusing at all! _

"You think this is entertaining?" Clary asked; her eyes brows raised.

Raphael cocked his head to the side in thought, then answered, "To a point, if I knew my family was going to lecture the hell out of me, I wouldn't go running to them." Raphael gazed steadily at Clary waiting for a response, Clary mumbled something low enough even Raphael could not understand.

"I need to reassure my mother and friends that I am alright despite the unwanted circumstances," Clary muttered, and she could see a faint smile on Raphael's lips.

"Unwanted?"

Clary rolled her eyes and turned towards the door and grabbed the handle, she took one last glance at Raphael and then turned the handle and walked through the entry way, leaving Raphael out in the night.

* * *

There! Are you happy? I know it's more of a filler chapter, but hey, at least it's something :)

By the way, I sort of got inspired and I now have an idea for a third story about Raphael's pre-vampire-life. I'm not sure how it'd go, but if anyone has any ideas please share and I'll see if I can come up with something.


	14. Misdirection

Chapter 14 Misdirection

The second the door closed behind her, Clary felt like a caged animal. She wanted desperately to run out of the institute and leave with Raphael; but she could not do that, she had to face her family.

The entrance to the institute was dim, Clary could see the church pews and the walls, but the color was drained from them. In one of the pews closest to her, Clary could see a figure facing her. Slim with dark hair, Clary recognized Alec.

"What are you doing here?" Clary asked tentatively.

"Waiting for you. I figured it would be best that my sister or anyone else who lives here didn't get the chance to jump you the second you walked in." Alec replied; there was not much emotion in his voice, in fact, he sounded tired. _Well of course he is_, Clary thought, _he's been tracking Sebastian for the past who-knows-how-long._

"So," Clary paused and looked down at the floor as she twisted her fingers hard enough to make them hurt. "You're not mad at me?" Clary squeaked.

Alec shrugged and got up. "Let's say I'm less mad than the others, and compared to your mother, I'm actually happy you're back." Alec replied; Clary figured it was not going to get any better than that; Alec was not known for being comforting. "The others are waiting for you in the library, I kind of managed to get them corralled in there, except Jace, he left the institute about an hour ago, I just hope it was not to go get you from the hotel, considering you're here now and all."

Alec turned towards the elevator and Clary followed a few steps behind; the pounding of her heart growing stronger as they neared the elevator. Clary thought back to Raphael who was waiting outside for her, and for once, she really did want to go live in the Dumort. _At least there the others have orders not to kill me_, Clary thought as she watched the front door disappear as the elevator door closed.

* * *

Alec held the door to the library open and Clary walked through. As she neared Myrse's desk, Clary could see Isabelle and Jocelyn standing on either side, heck even Church was sitting on the desk, his yellow eyes steady on Clary. _Well, when the cat shows up, you know you're in serious trouble,_ Clary thought nervously. Like Alec had mentioned, Jace was nowhere to be seen, which made Clary feel a little better.

Clary stopped a few yards back from Myrse's desk; she kept her eyes on Church and avoided the gaze of the others.

"Well, if you don't mind, I think there's a little more work to be done on tracking Sebastian, so," Alec did not finish whatever he was going to say as he exited the room. _No please don't,_ Clary wanted to shout, Alec was probably the closest thing to a friend right now and now she was alone. For a couple of seconds that felt like hours to Clary no one said anything. Clary chanced a look at Isabelle and was surprised to see sympathy on Isabelle's face; but that might have been because Isabelle had already had the chance to say her piece.

Clary looked at Myrse who looked as impassive as ever, while Clary's mother looked something between calm and a tiger ready to pounce. Finally Myrse spoke first.

"Clary," she paused, Clary had a feeling that they had already made a plan on how this would go, but it seems that actually initiating the plan was much harder for them. "I'm glad to see that you got out of the Silent City. However, your mother and I are concerned about the methods on how you got out, particularly the person who got you out." Myrse finished; _at least they're not screaming at me_, Clary thought.

"Raphael," Clary muttered.

"Yes. The head of the New York coven. Clary, you need to make arrangements with Raphael and the Silent brothers so you may be allowed to return to the institute. We all agree that you are safest here." Myrse looked like she was trying to contain herself.

"I'm not sure how easy those arrangements will be to make," Clary started, then was interrupted by Isabelle.

"Why? Because of the Silent Brothers and their strict policies or because of the fact that you want to stay with your boyfriend?" Clary was startled by Isabelle's tone and guessed Isabelle was still pretty mad.

"Isabelle!" Myrse shouted; giving her daughter a glare that mirrored Church's. Isabelle crossed her arms in defiance, but she did not say anything more. "What my daughter means is," Myrse looked flustered, obviously they had all been thinking it, Isabelle just happened to be the one who had the guts to say it. "Well, Clary, I don't know how to say this, but,"

"You need to come home now," Jocelyn finally spoke up, unable to contain her anger. Clary flinched at her mother's tone. Never in her seventeen years had Clary heard her mother talk like that. Even when Clary had disobeyed her over and over again when she had found out about the Nephilim world, her mother had never been this angry before. "Of all the things you have done this is by far the worst. Jace was bad enough with his attitude and actions, but I got over that, I got used to him. But this, you dating that vampire is going too far."

"So this isn't about me getting out of the Silent City, this is all about me dating Raphael?" Clary asked, she could feel her own anger rise, and her face flushed with emotion. _Really? This is their problem? _

"Well," Myrse started but again was cut off.

"Yes, Clary," Jocelyn said, her eyes bore into Clary's and Clary could not help but glare back at her mother. For a moment there was a fog that covered Clary's mind, at first Clary thought she was mad at her mother, and yes, she was mad, but then another thought entered Clary's mind. It was the damned vampire blood; _yeah great time to kick in_, Clary thought back at it. "Clary, I realize that you had to put up with Raphael for a while when you were busy looking for a way to bring back the Nephilim. That does not mean you have to be with him, under any circumstances. I don't understand why you would want to be with him, he doesn't exactly have a great reputation, or even a good one for the matter." Jocelyn finished; but Clary could barely hear her. Clary was too busy keeping the fog and her temper at bay so she would not do something rash.

"So you're racist against downworlders." Clary said; _great that was the last thing I needed to say right now._ Clary blamed the vampire blood.

"No, I'm not; but I don't believe my daughter, who barely knows the Nephilim and downworlder world, should have a relationship with a downworlder any more than being acquaintances. It's just too dangerous." Jocelyn shot back, but her words did not faze Clary.

"If you're so concerned about me dating a downworlder, well then, may I point out that Isabelle has been doing the exact same thing for, hm, how many years, Isabelle?" Clary said as she turned her head towards Isabelle who looked stunned that she had been called out. Clary knew it was a low blow, but her words did have a point.

Isabelle looked to her mother, and then back at Clary, for once Isabelle did not have anything to say. Perhaps Isabelle had already been thinking about this before and that was why she had seemed sympathetic; because she knew the course this conversation was going to take.

Clary looked at Myrse whose eyes were steady on Clary and her lips pressed in a thin line. Then, Clary looked back her mother, who did not look fazed at all.

"Isabelle has been trained very well by her parents and she is fully capable of protecting herself from downworlders if the situation was to get out of control; you haven't. What have you been surviving on? Luck? Well, eventually luck runs out, Clary. What do you think would happen if Raphael were to turn on you? He isn't exactly merciful. Do you realize he could kill you!" Jocelyn said, her voice had risen a bit and Clary felt like she had been slapped. A part of Clary figured she had it coming, another part was shocked that her mother would go that far, and another part was completely in rage. _How dare she say that about Raphael! He would never hurt me!_ Clary guess that was the vampire blood at work, and she shook her head to clear her thoughts.

A more level part of Clary recognized that was her mother was saying did have some truth. Raphael was not merciful if someone pissed him off, even just a little bit. And true, he could hurt her, although it pained Clary to admit it. Technically, in a way, he had hurt her, maybe not physically but emotionally. However, that level part of her was not in control, which was probably why Clary carried on acting like a raging lunatic.

"If you haven't realized yet, I do have some skill at surviving, it isn't just luck. If it was, I would have run out of luck a long time ago, Mother. And here's something for you to think about, everyone has the potential to hurt me, humans, downworlders, Nephilim, family, etcetera. You're just bringing this up now because you don't want to have to deal with Raphael." Clary said; but her voice was cracking and her energy was draining, _great my mother's going to make me cry now_, Clary through miserably. Jocelyn's face softened a fraction; Clary did not bother looking at Isabelle and Myrse.

"Clary, I don't want you to get hurt. I'm trying to protect you from as much pain as I possibly can." Jocelyn tried to reason, then closed the distance between her and her daughter and rested her hands on Clary's shoulders, why Jocelyn looked Clary in the eyes. Clary held Jocelyn's gaze for a second then dropped hers to the floor; she did not want her mother to see her eyes starting to water.

"You could try and have some faith in me," Clary muttered.

"I do have faith in you, Clary. I just don't have faith in Raphael." Jocelyn said, her voice sounded sweet and comforting.

"He helped bring back the Nephilim. He killed Valentine. Don't you think he's worth having a little faith in?" Clary asked with hope in her voice.

Jocelyn hesitated before she answered. "Clary, Raphael proved that he is trust worthy at times. However, I do not trust him when it comes to my daughter, which just so happens to be you." Jocelyn's voice was firm and Clary knew there was no use in trying to change her mother's mind; so she did not reply back, she just stood there, with her fingers twisting together and her gaze on the floor. However, it seemed that her mother took that as a victory.

"Now that that is settled, you should talk with the Silent Brothers, I'm sure they will be compliant in this case. Also you'll have to end things with Raphael…" Clary did not hear anything after that. Maybe it was Raphael's blood that made Clary react so strongly to those words, the thought of leaving him was dreadful with that damned blood inside her, but being forced to, it only made Clary want to do anything in her power to get away, and more importantly, to get back to Raphael.

"No."

"What was that, dear?" Jocelyn turned around and eyes her daughter with wonder.

"I said no." Clary said, a little louder this time. Again Clary shook her head to clear her mind, but it only felt like the blood was getting stronger. Clary backed up a few steps and rammed into one of the book cases. Luckily, it did not tumble down but Clay still felt overwhelmingly confused. "I said no," Clary repeated. She raised her hand to her head like she had a headache, but it was more so she could gain her balance and make the room stop spinning.

"Clary what's wrong?" Isabelle perked up, the level of concern in her voice was high and Clary could hear the scrap of Myrse's chair against the floor as she got up.

"Clary?"

Clary backed up towards the door now; her heart was pounding and she could feel her adrenaline rise, she had to get away, that was all she could comprehend.

"Clary!" Jocelyn shouted, not out of anger but confusion and maybe even a little out of fear. After all she had just said she wanted to protect her daughter, and now her mother probably felt her maternal instincts kicking in. It was too bad that that was when Clary found her footing and ran out the library door to the elevator, the doors closing just before the three women could catch up to her.

The rise in the elevator felt like days, and to make matters worse she really did have a headache now. She could practically feel her own pulse over every inch of her skin as the adrenaline continued to spike and when the doors opened she ran out as fast as she could and through the front doors out into the night.

The fresh air was cold and dark and full of the city, but Clary drank it in like she was dying. Slowly, her heartbeat calmed and Clary was able to see again. The street was it up by the New York City street lights but the towering buildings around the institute were dark. _Of course their dark, mundanes don't work at night, silly_. Clary glanced around, then walked down the steps and took a left. _The others will be after me,_ Clary thought. _Why am I running from them? They're not the enemy. Where's Raphael?_ Clary took another left and ran smack into someone's chest.

"What the hell?" Clary muttered, then she felt her face being jerked up and two, strong, warm hands on either side of her face.

"What happened?" It took Clary less than a second to realize who it was" Raphael. Relief and fear washed over Clary, but she could not help collapsing into Raphael's arms and burring her face in his chest. "What happened, hermosa?" He asked again; and all Clary could do was sob. Clary's headache resided completely and her heartbeat calmed to a normal pace; and she could feel Raphael's arms wrap around her waist as he held her.

"We need to go," Clary found herself saying. She thought of her mother, Myrse and Isabelle coming after her, maybe Alec as well. "We really need to go." Clary said again, with more urgency in her voice.

"Why?" Raphael asked; his voice calm and soothing as he ran his fingers through Clary's hair.

"We just need to leave." Clary said, she pulled away from Raphael, grabbed his hand, and started pulling him in a direction away from the institute. But Raphael did not budge, he stayed where he was and pulled Clary back to him. "I promise, I'll explain later, we just need to leave." Clary said, her eyes begging.

Raphael did not say anything, he looked back in the direction of the institute; Clary did not see what he saw but whatever it was, it seemed to convince Raphael that they did need to get out of here. Quickly, Raphael grabbed Clary around the waist and headed off in a new direction; not towards the institute and not in the direction Clary had originally intended to run off in, but to Clary it did not matter. What mattered was that she was with Raphael and that she was going to stay with Raphael. The thought of the vampire blood did not even enter her mind.

* * *

Yay, another chapter finished. Hm, I'm thinking two more chapters in this story…maybe three? Eh who knows, unless I come up with some more ideas, I'd say there's three chapters left.


	15. Homecoming

Guess what everyone?! I'm not dead! I realize none of my excuses, ahem -surgery, school, writer's block, and procrastination-, won't sooth your anger towards me.

* * *

Chapter 15 Homecoming

"Raphael where are we?" Clary vaguely heard the words leave her mouth as she spoke them. As far as she was concerned it did not matter where she was as long as she was with Raphael. What else would matter?

They had cut across too many zig zagging streets for Clary's mind to follow, and they had entered a small, unnamed, park that looked like a miniature Central Park surrounded by shabby buildings and tight streets. It was dark and eerie and normally this would have put Clary's guard up, but it seemed her conscious had decided to take a well needed vacation. No doubt, thanks to the vampire blood.

"I don't know." Raphael spoke slowly. He looked around and instead of joining him in his search; Clary watched him and curled in closer. It seemed vampire blood was not going to protect her from the chill of winter. After what felt like an hour Clary's lips parted to raise the question again, but before she could Raphael tugged her in another direction, she practically had to jog to keep up with him.

"Is something wrong, Raphael?" Clary asked; she figured the others could be following them, but that was a small probability. They would have lost Clary and Raphael long ago in the maze of streets. Clary thought of muggers and gang bangers that could be hiding in the shadows and in the alleys. Again, they were a small threat, she was a trained (sort of, kind of trained) shadowhunter and Raphael was a vampire, they were in no danger of getting jumped. Still, it was dark and they were not in the best part of town, even with the vampire blood polluting her brain, Clary still felt worry creep into her mind and send a tremor of fear down her spine.

"I don't think so." Again Raphael's words were slow as he glanced around, his face an unreadable mask. Clary waited for anything else but he did not speak.

"But you think there is something." Clary spoke Raphael's thoughts out loud. She hated to admit it, but Raphael's worry was infectious. What if Jace and the others had followed them? What if her mother had followed them? Clary felt her stomach flip at the thought of her mother. How was Clary ever supposed to look her mother in the eyes again? "The others wouldn't have been able to follow." Clary spoke as firmly as she could, but she said the words to reassure herself more than to reassure Raphael.

"You're right." Raphael confirmed, although he sounded doubtful. "There's a subway entrance two blocks from here. We can go back to the hotel that way." Clary thought back to Raphael's motorcycle that they had left at the Dumont, now she really wished they had taken the bike instead of the subway. There was just something about descending into a subterranean area that was nothing less than a modern labyrinth that gave Clary an eerie feeling along her spine.

"Maybe we should try and find a brighter side of town," Clary proposed, the vampire blood clogged her brain, her words seemed slow to process, even if she was speaking at a normal pace. She vaguely thought that the vampire blood had been a bad idea, when that thought evaporated at the sound of Raphael's voice.

"This is as bright as it's going to get in this neighborhood," Raphael spoke. His words were dark, the look on his face told Clary he was remembering something but she wasn't sure she wanted to ask. If anything she wanted to save him from his past, not draw him back into it. "I grew up three blocks from here, and it doesn't look like the place has changed for the better." Clary was in mild shock at the light Raphael had shed on his past. Sure she had scratched the surface of his past, but how deep and dark did it go?

"So the Dumont would be close?"

"If trouble arises, it's not close enough to run to." Raphael answered, his jaw was clenched, he obviously did not like hanging around this place. Raphael gently pushed Clary in the direction of the subway, his hand on her waist had become tighter, another sign of his nervousness. "The others haven't followed us, I would have heard one of them by now, blondie's not as quiet as he thinks he is, but something's off." Clary wasn't sure if she should add on to his thoughts, there was a possibility growing the back of her mind, but the damn vampire blood hazed it over and made it impossible for Clary to finish the thought. _When was morning again?_

A small panic grew inside Clary. _When was morning?_ The fear grew stronger inside her, solidifying in her mind, her concern for Raphael grew. _This is bad_, Clary thought.

To Clary's surprise there was a breeze that swept through the street they were on now. The chill of winter stopped her dead in her path, her arms wrapping around her for protection. In the part of the city where she was from, the buildings were tall enough to block the majority of the wind but here, she was completely exposed to it. If that didn't make matters worse enough, then Raphael's next move did. He pushed her up against a brick wall, none to gently, making sure there was no way for her to escape or be seen. He had her back to her, which confused to Clary, until she felt the chill of death consume her that only accompanied one voice.

"It's about time I caught up to you two." Clary couldn't see. She did not want to. _Go away, it's a nightmare, it's not real,_ Clary's conscious jumped back into action and screamed at her. But the reality that was setting in was unmistakable. "What would father think, Clary? You, mucking up the Morgenstern name by defiling yourself with this bloodsucker."

* * *

Cliff hanger! This is more for me than for you, that way I have more initiative to finish the story because leaving everyone hanging like this would be cruel. Guilt is the biggest push for me to get things done.

Also, I have less than four weeks of high school left. For my entire life! So despite the finals that are bearing down on me in the upcoming weeks, so I have no excuse not to update. So I give every reader full permission to harass and berate me until I finish the story.

I know how this story will end now, so I'd say three chapters after this. This Chapter was definitely a filler to get my brain working again, but the next two should be long and then a short one to round everything off.


End file.
